Lolita Charm

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Let's Get Personal: Personal Blogging

I've always been a 'get-down-to-business' blogger. My posts are 'articles' or 'reviews' and I 'cover events.' I (presumptuously, perhaps) have always considered my site to be more of a one-woman magazine than a simple journal or diary. I even read magazine's just to get different ideas and angles for blog posts. As long as I've been blogging, I've often felt that the 'personal post' was a cop-out. By 'personal blogs' I mean those that make up a big chunk of the blogosphere: you know, your typical slice-of-life blogs with pictures of your dog, dates, food photography, and the occasional outfit shot. Who could possibly be interested in my dull life, I thought. This is what I wore to the dentist. Afterwards I broke protocol and ate this contraband chain-restaurant donut. Enjoy the subsequent twelve photos.

Some bloggers have got this down to an artform: beautiful snaps that make your chain-store donuts look delectable and outfit shots of ordinary coordinates look romantic and inspired. Or perhaps as a personal blogger your skill is sharing your daily stories in an engaging way, that both speak to the reader emotionally and garner a few laughs. While I've read and enjoyed many a personal blog, I never figured that genre would work for me.

After a long tradition on my blogging 'editorial' style, I was moved to consider personal blogging after reading this touching 'love letter' post from Anika (ByAnika.com) To be honest, I didn't even know 'personal blogging' was a term until I read this! But this post really opened my eyes to the soulfulness and contribution of the ordinary personal blog. A personal blog, Anika writes lovingly, is like a conversation with a good friend. A personal blog is unafraid to share the real life and personality of the blogger, not just their writing style or opinions on niche topics. You really get a homey, comfortable feeling reading a good personal blog, like sitting down to tea on a cold day.

I've always been worried about 'staying on topic' with Lolita Charm and one aim of the new site (coming soon, next-week-soo!) is to allow myself to wander off-topic. Now that I have 'license' to do that, however, I find myself clinging to my stalwart topics more than ever. It's a big, scary, topic-filled world out there! What if I write about something nobody cares about? Cue the horror music and screeching violins, of course. Personal blogging, as Anika notes, takes bravery. It takes bravery to say yes, my life and personality, simple as it is, has something to offer to the world. Someone, somewhere, can take happiness, or hope, or just a smile from your blog when you offer up yourself. It's especially brave in the ever-present shadow of the Haters^TM, those people who, in the words of comedian Katt Williams, 'hate good shit'. There's always going to be someone who tells you that you're not that 'special, sorry', that no one really wants to see pictures of your doily collection, or that your personal(ity) has no worth in general.

But I find, in the quiet spaces between articles and comments and page breaks, the personal blog does something the editorial doesn't. For a handful of people, the personal blog touches hearts. The highlight of my day is when I get a note from a reader saying that my blog made them smile, or helped them along the path to becoming a lolita. I have to say that the true allure of personal blogging is its promise to connect with your readers on a whole other level.

You keep posting, spending hours writing your posts, taking your pictures, feeling vulnerable and not successful at times, and yet you keep going. For you. And for me. You keep at it, staying true to your self, not getting caught up in the whirlwind of popularity. No, you hold on to your blogging balls and you don`t give up. And eventually I find you and am happy you did not give up on blogging.

-Anika (A love letter to personal bloggers)

Good blogging, like good fashion, takes proverbial balls. Lolita Charm is about fashion and unicorns, yes, but it's also about my renewed journey about what it means - to me - to be a good blogger. This article is personal to me. I hope to write more, and keep hanging onto my blogger balls for dear life. Now, don't worry, there won't be any TMI play-by-play of my feminine issues on the horizon. But in between talking about favorite lipgloss colors or this season's new lucky packs, occasionally, I may share something realer.

So to all you personal bloggers, I salute you. Keep writing.

Labels: blogging, discussion

Friday, March 18, 2011

But Being a Lolita is HARD!

Recently I have seen this term floating around the Internet: 'closet lolitas'. I originally thought this meant, like the term for 'closeted' Pagans or homosexuals, that this was a reference to lolitas who wore and loved their lolita fashion while keeping it a secret from their friends, family, and significant others. While it sounded rather difficult (how do you hide a giant wardrobe of poofy technicolor dresses and $300 dress bills from your parents?!) I figured it must be possible, if people were using the term. Today I finally got it, from a few new comments and messages left on my Youtube videos: the term 'closet lolita' was being applied to girls who considered themselves to be lolita despite not dressing in, owning, or even ever having tried on the fashion. I can only assume then the 'closet lolita' just consumes media, mostly through the Internet (tumblr, Facebook, forums, blogs, etc.).

Now to clarify my stance - I believe a lolita is someone who has worn lolita clothing with a genuine attempt to follow the lolita style/anatomy/archetype (wearing a cheap lace monster to cosplay an anime character does not count; nor does donning a brand skirt with a t-shirt, converse, and no lolita hair/makeup - lolita fashion is a whole-picture look, not just the clothing or its pedigree - offbrand and handmade count!). No matter how much media, community or interest one has in lolita fashion, I don't believe you can be a lolita until you have tried to wear the style in its entirety - at least once, though others might argue multiple times or ownership of the clothing and accessories is necessary. Until you've actually tried to portray the lolita style to the best of your ability, you are an admirer and lover of lolita fashion. (Nothing wrong with that, if you love the look but it's not something you'd personally wear.)

I received an email recently with a plea for help from just such a 'closet lolita' who has been a 'lolita for years' but wanted more help being lolita 'style-wise.' To sum her letter, she says her family will support her, but her location is not 'lolita-forward' and lolita is 'far too expensive and far too difficult!'

Okay. Mama Victoria is gonna get a little tough love and speak the truth. Being a lolita... is hard.

Here are just a few things lolitas do on a routine basis to keep up with, well, being lolitas:

Ordering from expensive shopping services, saving up money, making the same dress work in six different outfits rather than buy a new one, darning socks, studying makeup magazines, cleaning wigs, coloring their hair, gluing on nails, gluing on eyelashes, learning katakana, matching up coordinates, buying makeup, dealing with customs, working hard jobs (again to save more money), flying cross country or internationally to buy clothing, curling hair, conditioning out teased bouffants, dealing with strangers, dealing with coworkers or family members, driving hours to meetups, uncomfortable shoes, stockings that slide down, petticoats that deflate, reading handbooks, running group orders, currency conversions, not to mention all of the inside workings and social learning curve of lolita culture...

Lolita seems to be making the list of subcultural trends for teens lately, making blog rolls and Tumblr dashboards all over the Internet. Other fashion trends the average teen or young person can invest in aren't nearly so stringent, such as scene or hipster trends. Lolita is more on the level of old-school goth, back when goth was both a daily rigorous fashion and lifestyle, rather than its modern descendant, watered-down and sold next to the GAP (who actually owns Hot Topic, for the curious.) Which is why many girls beg the question of why lolita has to be so, well, hard.

Lolita looks sweet, soft, delicate, like an ornate maiden or perfect princess... and, like any princess, it looks effortless. I think that is why, for those on the outside looking in, it seems like it must be easy. To those who haven't tried it, it seems like for the lolitas pictured, life is a perfect fairytale, a (excuse the pun) piece of cake, and the only reason that the viewer hasn't attained lolita nirvana yet is due to an external locus of control. You know, the usual, things you hear all the time: "It's too expensive", "My hometown is not lolita", "Going outside would be weird". Or other times, you hear girls say, "Lolita is my inside self and heart, but..."

Here is the truth: lolitas are strong. Lolitas are brave. Every day, they decide to wear things that are not popular or accepted. They have been mocked, alienated and harassed for their choices, in every location from big cities to rural towns. Why? Because as a lolita, the fundamental belief is that making yourself happy is the most important thing. Even if you feel awkward, standing alone in a pink-and-blue ruffled dress, knowing that the rest of the world is staring... you are standing up for your right to make choices about your happiness, not others'. If this dress makes you feel happy when you look at it and put it on, then it should be your choice to embrace that.

As Maki of Angelic Pretty has said, 'Lolitas are always fighting for what they believe in.' If you want to be a lolita, to wear lolita fashion and in doing so truly have the 'lolita experience' so to speak, you have to fight. Lolitas around the world face adversity in becoming lolitas, whether that's cost, time, location, culture. I have had letters from Muslim lolitas who want to dress in adorable fashions but still honor their religious standards, like long skirts. I have had letters from girls who are exceedingly poor but have been carefully saving their pennies or learning by nights how to sew.

Like I've said in the past, anyone can have a successful blog. The same is true of lolita fashion, or really anything you want to pursue. In our culture we chase endless small hobbies and interests, a culture well-known for dabbling: the ability to play a few songs on a bass, a brief love affair with knitting, or a dusty collection from when coin collecting seemed cool. Fleeting interest is commonplace. Passion is an abstract word few understand these days, something we reserve for ballet dancers or astronauts. Obsession we are readily familiar with; addiction, an old friend. To become a lolita, no matter your circumstances, it's not really clothing you need. What you need goes by many names - drive, passion, determination... I suppose in this case I will call it a healthy obsession. Decide a goal for fashion self - what you deem to be the perfect idea of lolita. Obsession is your friend. I think all lolitas who truly love the fashion are always thinking about lolita, considering how they're going to meet their own daydreams head-on. Novala Takemoto's 5 Rules For Becoming a Lovely Girl says 'If you long to be a maiden, then define yourself as your own rival', if you'd like to think of it that way.

Every lolita starts as an ordinary girl, accidentally stumbling onto a dreamy world of fashion that makes her want to fulfill that dream, no matter how hard or long the road is. Even as seasoned lolita, after five years, I am always trying to 'better' my style, and redefine it to fit myself. It's been a long journey that I know I have yet to complete - if I ever will. A journey not just about clothes or hair, but also who you want to become. I think that defines the lolita experience... that no matter what, to be a lolita, don't give up.

To finish this article, I thought I'd include a long-beloved favorite poem from Novala Takemoto, who I hope is safe.

I want to become a lolita, you say.
So become one, I reply.
What can I do to look like a lolita?
I have no words with which to reply to this.
You need a headdress, don't you? And a pannier.
Is this coordinate strange?
Is it not wrong for lolita?
Why do you want to do lolita?
Because it's trendy, because my friends do it...
If that's the case, you have no right to wear lolita.
If you just do what the others do, you will look like a lolita.
But I want you to think about something.
Who do you live for?
You think you want to be yourself, but you are afraid of isolation.
You yell that you want to be free, but you take comfort in following convention.
When you are praised for something you don't even feel comfortable with, are you really satisfied?
Girls who wear Vivienne Westwood but don't even know the Sex Pistols.
Even when wearing a jersey, a princess is a princess.
My lolita rules are mine alone.
So you are the only one who can find your own lolita rules.
My god and your god are different, aren't they?
There are angels who wear elegant dresses and play tamborines,
But there are also angels wearing armor and carrying swords whose job it is to fight.
I can't answer your question.
But there are a lot of hints all around you.
You just haven't noticed yet.
What you feel is right is your answer.
Sew frills onto the hem of your heart!
Put a tiara on top of your soul!
Have pride.

Please excuse the previous recent lack of updates to Lolita Charm. Not only was this week my college midterms, but I have been feeling unable to write about Japanese pop fashion while seeing so much tragedy in Japan. Please continue to keep the Japanese people in your hearts and prayers. Click here for more on what you can do to help Japan.

xoxo,

Labels: cultural, discussion, inspirational

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Punk Rock and Formal Beauty

Being it's so snowy here, lately I've been re-reading my copy of Kamikaze Girls (the novel). The first time I read it, I underlined it and made notes in the margins with the idea of eventually writing some deep, meaningful, book-club-worthy article about it. Such an article never occurred. I think the most precious things to me in this book, I can't express, or perhaps am unwilling to reveal - like a secret heart. All of its grace, for me, is locked beyond the silent, promising lace-and-embroidered style of its book jacket.

As I reached the end of the story again today however, I discovered a new section of the book I hadn't read - or, well, I must have, as I underlined and annotated it, but I certainly don't remember it. I thought I would post it here for you to read, and absorb its wisdom. The parts in bold italic are the sections I underlined by hand in my copy.

(Note: this afterword was written especially for the English/American book release, which occurred after the movie aired/became popular in the US. This afterword is specially written to lolita overseas.)

I imagine that quite a few of you picked up this novel after seeing its movie adaptation.

Well, nice to make your aquaintance. I am Novala Takemoto, a Rococo writer who has been racing headlong in full-blown lolita mode for years, in spite of being a straight male.

Momoko, the girl who tells this story, is pretty much my alter ego. So if you found yourself identifying with Momoko's spirit, it means that I have been understood on the other side of the ocean, and this makes me very happy.

Lolita is a unique form of street fashion that emerged in Japan in the late 1970s. There are no leaders in the lolita world. I am sometimes introduced as an authority on lolitas, and enjoy overwhelming support among readers with lolita tastes, but even so if, if my assertions and opinions do not meet with their approval, I face harsh rebuke. Lolita do not recognize any authority. They follow only the values they have chosen for themselves, regardless of what anyone else might say.

In other words, lolita possess a hard-boiled spirit at root that cannot be attained by men today. "Hard-boiled," that stylishly cool attitude that originated among American men, has thus been passed on to a segment of with-it girls in Japan called lolitas. And it is now being relayed back to girls in America. This may have been inevitable. The reason I have been writing books about lolitas since my debut, Kamikaze Girls and other books, is that the hard-boiled sensibility is the source of my own lifestyle and creativity.

While lolita is a fashion genre that sprang up spontaneously, it does have strict conventions. Bangs must be cute straight across in front of the eyebrows, skirts have to be worn over petticoats, and so on. So long as you stick to these basics, the rest is up to you - you are free to adapt the look any way you please, and give precedence to your own original definition of lolita.

Lolita is a fusion of the spirit of punk rock with formal beauty that honors tradition. Lolitas value independence and beauty above all else.

In Kamikaze Girls, the two girls are drawn to each other's independent natures and eventually come to respect one another. Eve though their tastes and principles are different, they become bound by true friendship because they learn to respect the aesthetic behind those tastes and principles.

...Right around here, I pick up the Japanese copy of Kamikaze Girls that I had placed beside me to write this afterword to the American edition, and reread the last part for the first time in ages. Aah, this speech of Ichigo's is pretty great, isn't it? The one that starts with Momoko here ain't my friend, see?" It brought tears to my eyes. (Hey, don't read your own stuff and start crying!)

Actually, though, I was asked to write an afterword to the American edition and I said okay, but you know what? Everything I wanted to say, which is basically the simple message of "let's all get along while following our own paths and doing whatever the hell we want!" is packed right into the book. I don't really think I have anything to add to that at this point. Just connecting with you, who will be fighting this fight with me from now on, is enough for me.

Wow. Powerful stuff, really, when you think about it. Often Takemoto starts to ramble in a cute, mysterious way, but then he has sudden moments of perfect clarity - and this letter has a few brilliant insights. I thought he said several good points we would do well to remember in this simple, oft-unread letter to the lolitas of then - and now. By the way, keep in mind that he wrote this in what we now refer to as the 'old-school days', most likely somewhere between 2004 and 2006 - right before the sudden 'fashion shift' into the lolita of the 2000s (when Angelic Pretty dominated the scene and the multi-color print began to rise in popularity).

To begin with, he's got us pegged: lolitas, for some reason or another, dislike authority. Anyone who claims to be an out-and-out authority figure on lolita fashion makes our guard go up. The touted 'lolita expert', La Carmina, comes to mind. Now, why is that? I think it's our natural reaction to being 'fenced in' by someone who claims to have all the answers. As soon as someone says, 'I'm an expert on _____ (let's say, classic lolita)' several girls also say, 'But you're not thinking of it from this point of view.' As he continues to say, this is because lolita is something personal. I know we think of it as a fashion, a subculture, a community, a set of guidelines, but at the end of the day your love and interpretation of lolita is with you. Just you. I recently read a quote that went something along the lines of, 'You can talk and share all night long, but when you sleep you all have different dreams.' Within the shape of lolita we all have our own fantasy worlds and daydreams - of place, time, locale, color, and fashion, which emerge through our clothes. I personally tend to find a sense of 'place' - when I see certain clothes, I imagine the scene and world whence they come. Pink House makes me think of grassy fields and old orchards in summer, fading to fall; Angelic Pretty makes me think of Barbie-pink doll houses and retro soda shops. But other girls may get a sense of presence, such as imaging themselves in the clothes, or perhaps a sense of sound (imaging a piece of music?) for the aurally inclined. I know one of my friends expresses her emotions and fantasies in film - I wonder if clothes give her the sense of a silent music video?

As you grow into your style, play with others, and develop your aesthetic tastes, you begin to define what lolita means to you. Not the communities, not what's popular online, not in magazines - but to you. Rather than sitting down to follow the guidelines or a subset, make your own. The other day, as I was thinking about Lolita Princess and its pure look, I found myself dreaming up a substyle! Was it lolita? Was it mori-girl or hime-kei? Was it a little bit fetched from lots of places? You bet. The more styles that seem to evolve and explode from Japan, the more they don't seem so different. Girls are beginning to gladly dabble in everything from gyaru to pop-kei, mori-girl and hime-kei. They seem very different on the surface, but below the veneer they are deeply similar. The notion of dolls, femininity, princesses, heroines in storybooks... are all from the same world, aren't they? Defining your lolita style doesn't need to be simply within the confines of by-the-book lolita. Check out his 'lolita style' above - certainly not your cookie cutter coordinate! He pairs his favorite brand pieces (often Baby the Stars Shine Bright and designer brand Vivienne Westwood) to develop his own androgynous style, veering to more masculine or feminine as he sees fit.

Okay, we're not all androgynous writers cobbling together knee socks and bloomers as pants - but plenty of day-to-day girls redefine their lolita styles out of the box. Moss Garden, for example, is a fine example of a 'lolita blog' that feels free to venture into the other realms of style such as natural-kei, dolly-kei, and mori-girl. Fairytale a La Mode, what we would mostly class as a classic lolita, often wanders down other fashion paths as well. Perhaps this is because as lolitas, it never truly leaves us? As Takemoto says, let's all follow our own paths and get along while doing whatever the hell we want! (...I ramble sometimes, too, but not in a cute, mysterious way. In more of a raised-eyebrow, wait-what way?)

In a way, you could also consider this afterword to be a pep-talk, about independence and bravery and even, perhaps, despite our differences, solidarity. Many of his poems also touch on subjects of bravery. As anyone who has ever stepped outside their front doors wearing a full lolita coordinate knows, bravery - and insecurity - can be constant companions. And that's not to say hiding under the quilt will fix that problem - you can find just as much disapproval online as in real life. Especially for someone who has decided to be independent and go their own way. But as the story of Momoko and Ichigo shows us, it's not their common interests or even morals that bring them together. It's that they recognize the same spark of independence within each other - in an interview, Takemoto calls them 'soul twins', kind of like our saying of 'two sides of the same coin.' After all of his reference to going your own way and developing your own style, he also encourages us to support that independence in others (even if 'others' means gross, spitting Yankis, of course - or, basically, other fashion styles that aren't our cup of tea). He wants us to go forth, be brave, and stand beside others who are doing the same.

I could continue the dissertation about Novala Takemoto forever. Since my lolita journey began with Kamikaze Girls, I suppose you could say that without his writing, I wouldn't be where I am today. So in this small way, I hope his afterword stays with you. Makes you think, or stand up. Remember: the lolita values independence and beauty above all else; the punk rock spirit fused with the beauty and love of a fantasy world. The princess, the doll, the maiden - is finally standing up for her right to be herself. I hope you do, too.

If you want to read more articles by Novala Takemoto, you can find them here and here. (English)

xoxo,

Labels: cultural, discussion, inspirational, recommended reading

Thursday, December 23, 2010

How to Be Yourself Online

It's been a long time since I started Lolita Charm, and longer before that were I was simply online, interacting with the lolita community and the rest of the Internet in general. Often when you tend to interact more online than you do in real life, real-life meetings can be nervous! Friends online might be shy at their first get-together, worried that the person they know is someone else when away from the keyboard. The first time I met my first lolita friends, I was so sure they were secretly 40-year-old men I insisted we meet at a coffee shop! But I am very proud of the fact that the girls I meet say that I really am the person I seem to be online. "Huh," one friend said. "I'm so happy that you're really... well, you." But that's not an easy feat. Some girls do seem to have two sides: one for online, sprinkled with tons of bows and glitter, and something totally different for on the street or at meetups.

It's easy to get lured into 'being someone else' online. First you change your name - from something as ordinary as Libby to, perhaps, sparkleprincessunicorn57 (or whatever your preference). Then you use a different little picture to represent yourself. And then you are thrown into a big world where you realize, without your real name or real face, you can be anyone. It's a huge temptation to throw your real self to the wind and play into being whoever you want.

Who do people want to be? Do they spend all their time and energy making sure their 'online self' is perfect? Or there are others who want to be the complete opposite - maybe queen bee, maybe that-girl-who-has-everything, or anything else you can dream up. And what's so bad about that? Well, read this little fable...

“Shouldn’t you be running away?”

“Why should I run?” replied Rabbit. “I’m a wolf. Other animals run away from me.”

The wolf leader tilted his head and eyed him suspiciously. “You don’t look like a wolf to me.”

“Nope, I’m definitely a wolf.”

(About a rabbit named Rabbit)

Finished? Hopefully you really did read about Rabbit the rabbit. In case you did decide tl;dr, here's the gist: Rabbit the rabbit thought it would be super cool to be a wolf. But being a wolf is hard when you're really a rabbit. It seems like an obvious point, but a lot of people don't realize just how hard it is to pretend to be someone else. And while you're busy making sure no one else ever finds out that you're not Princess Peach or, alternately, Regina George reincarnated... everyone else is just having fun.

So how do you make sure that what goes into your keyboard comes out as you?

Use your real name and real photo. You don't have to plaster the internet with your social security number, or use your real photo if you're not comfortable. But I think it does add a lot by using or at least displaying your real name - first names only are fine. I'm much happier that I introduce myself and write under my real name, Victoria, than I am using a screen name (though you could consider my longer name, Victoria Suzanne, to be a pen name - it's still my legal name!) Real photos also help. One thing I like about meeting lolitas on Facebook is that they use real photos - taken by friends, at events, with their dogs, whatever. You can get a real sense of a person through an honest photo.
Think about what you're going to say. On second thought, don't. When you decide to leave a comment/write an article/make a video, write from your gut reaction. It's easy to get in the nasty habit of reading a collection of comments for consensus and then adding a 'me too' to the gang. If you must see what the party line is, try to write your comment or article first, and then read it over (so that you don't repeat others if you're commenting, or have the wrong facts.)
Make real friends. Even if you are a lolita trapped in Siberia, you can still have lolita friends. You don't need to have an 'online presence' or online persona to do it either. Join a community, perhaps something small or niche-oriented with lots of individuals looking to share ideas and chat. Then pick out a few people you seem to click with and strike up a friendship. Chat with IM, meet in real life, make Facebook friends, or follow each other on tumblr. It's much easier to be yourself within a small group or just a one-on-one relationship. Not only is it good practice at being yourself through the internet, it also keeps you from developing a Ms. Hyde character on the side. Real friends keep you honest.
Be personal. A lot of people from the past generation believe in 'don't air your dirty laundry in public' and 'sticking to the niceties.' Small talk was invented precisely for this - to avoid talking about anything actually personal. Don't be afraid to divulge into your own life and history online. Sometimes I've been shy in talking about things personal to me, like my kidney transplants. But the response from readers is overwhelmingly positive - they want to know who you really are. It's a part of you - don't hide it.
Don't follow trends - start them. Okay, if you really love a trend, then sure. Remember when cake hats were the coolest thing you could wear? If you're just dying to slap a cake on your head, then go for it. If you're just tying on a slice of Black Forest gateau to be with the in-crowd and look chic, then skip it. When it comes to your style - whether that be what you wear, what you blog about, or simply who you present yourself to be online, just choose what feels natural to you. It may be that your unique style or interpretation introduces the world to something new! If everyone stuck with the pack, we'd never have seen evolution and development in lolita fashion. By choosing what they thought was beautiful, and being true to themselves, whole new styles and subgenres began. They were brave enough to be themselves!

Labels: cultural, discussion, inspirational

Sunday, November 21, 2010

A Lolita's Temptation

I've never been quite sure where I stand on lolita replicas. I own a few Bodyline knockoffs, such as Innocent World's puppy jumperskirt. All of my lolita-specific shoes are some kind of copy - I've never bought brand shoes before. Even my wonderful new boots (which I haven't taken off since! agh, so comfortable!) are really Chinese replicas of the infamous Doc Martens. But I always drew the line at bigger things, like replicas dresses and skirts, especially prints. Lately however, my resolve is wavering.

For one, replicas used to be lower in quality. Thin fabric, cheap lace and odd print placement were rampant. Some of the first Angelic Pretty skirt replicas were cute enough, but tacked with long strands of scratchy, 99-cent lace. Newer replicas have netlace that, while not being quite as delicately embroidered and logo-covered as the real thing, is soft and has a similar effect. Replica producers are even using leftoer fabrics and ribbons directly from the brand - it's not uncommon to see replicas that still bear the name of their ancestor, Angelic Pretty. These replicas wristcuffs even say Angelic Pretty, just like the real thing.

For another, it seems like brand competition is getting stiffer. Angelic Pretty's Twinkle Star bag sold out so fast I don't know a single person who got their hands on it. But to everyone's relief, replicas will be out soon from Chinese producers. Not only are they more affordable, but there's just more of them. Angelic Pretty and other brands have long focused on being 'exclusive' by, so it seems, undersupplying demand, causing sky-rocketing aftermarkets. There's even talk now of replicating the infamous Sugary Carnival, a print dress that still sells for aroud $400 - $500 dollars.

A few samples of the replica Twinkle Star pochettes. This replica does look a little off to me.

You can now get plenty of 'replica lolita' including:

skirts
dresses (jumperskirt and onepiece)
shoes
hairbows
wristcuffs
coats
purses

If you're on a fixed budget, or a new girl in love with brand but out of love with brand prices, this could be your best option. I consider replicas useful to my wardrobe especially if the original is sold out or no longer available. I also like to wear lolita fashion as much as possible, and lower-priced clothing or replicas are a great way for me to pad my wardrobe with pretty things, while saving money. The average brand lolita skirt, new, will probably cost about $180 or more depending on the current status of the yen. To have enough skirts to keep up a day-to-day wardrobe can be a wallet-breaking expense for many girls.

Several of my friends noted that replica brands will often make their items in 'bespoke' which means to your measurements. Brand again pulls the exclusivity card by selling one-size-fits-all... unless, of course, it doesn't fit you. Another friend mentioned that she'd rather by the real thing in the face of 'replica stigma', where you're looked down on for purchasing the knock-off and supposedly disrespecting the original brand name and designers.

While I was writing this article I ran across this video on the nature of fashion and copyright. I'm a business major eyeing the notion of eventually working in the fashion industry (marketing and sales, not design) and I gotta say this kind of thing fascinates me. It answers a lot of the questions lolitas have puzzled over as we look at first the original, then the replica, and back again.

I was amazed to see that replicas, what the speaker calls 'fast fashion' or part of the trickle-down fashion effect, are actually what starts trends. For something to be a trend, someone has to take a hefty amount of inspiration from someone else - something we often calls copying. And replicas lead to what we're seeing very commonly in lolita fashion - the 'democritzation' of fashion. If anything, the replica has helped spread the Angelic Pretty version of lolita over a further economic demographic, over further reaches, making them ever more the face of sweet lolita. The idea of Angelic Pretty's lolita - is that something we should consider a closed circuit, or should it be allowed to grow and expand? The idea of lolita originally came from the streets; much Japanese fashion still does, as we can see the forerunners of fairy-kei having their ideas produced into boutiques like Nile Perch and Spank!.

It all comes down to individual choice. But it is fascinating to see exactly how fashion circulates. Do replicas deserve their 'stigmas' if copying and inspiration are the powerhouses behind the fashion world to begin with? Is exclusivity something we should cultivate, or is it better to open up the world of lolita fashion to anyone who wants to enjoy the designs and beauty? Is copyright even going to be a lasting notion in a world increasingly based on free exchange of knowledge and ideas?

By the way - I've changed the commenting system to Disqus and it's being a glitchy right now. Even when it says 0 comments, they're just not registering on my Blogger template. So don't be afraid to leave comments! Hopefully they'll be working soon.

Labels: culture, discussion, shopping

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Blogging: The New 'Lifestyle' Requirement?

I read recently on a forum that lolita blogging or having a lolita blog is the new must-do for lifestyle lolitas. At the top of the ubiquitous list of 'what lifestylers do, those crazy pink princesses hopped up on Lucky Charms' was: write a lolita blog.

Is lolita blogging the new hot must-do for lifestylers? The blogosphere (the very tiny, frilly portion we lolitas have carved a niche into) has grown from its first tumultuous days, and new blogs pop up overnight. Girls are avidly taking outfit shots, talking about new prints, and puzzling apart the greater questions of our subculture. Some lolita blogs venture into realm of expressive photostories, or detailing their catalogs of Sanrio items. Whether blogs are personal or meant for a wider lolita audience at large, there's no doubt that they are currently changing the face of how lolitas communicate and network through the internet.

That doesn't sound so strange, does it? Lolita blogs are like any blogs - cute photos, some text, a couple of links. They're even what used to be considered community or forum content, before such things were dropping out of the forefront. All hobbyists like to talk about their hobbies. So why is it suddenly the newest gem in the crazy lifestyler crown? It's true that many lolita blogs seem to be in favor of lifestyle lolita - is it because the blogosphere finally gives lifestyler a place of their own, to express lolita in any way they like? Blogs are like tiny countries devoted to a personal opinion or overview, each with a particular feel and theme, where the 'crazy lifestyler' can set up a postage stamp-sized realm for her supposedly backwards little kingdom.

Or perhaps it's considered lifestyle because only lifestylers would put so much mental energy and focus on a catalog of posts? Is it considered 'lifestyle' to meditate on the fashion and question it, or fantasize about it, or evolve it? So many girls answer the question of why they like lolita with simply, "It's cute," or "The clothes make me feel happy." Too much philosophy or introspection on the topic will you get pegged as another crazy lifestyler. I was appalled to see one girl even say that 'lolita lifestyler' was shorthand for a vapid lolita princess-y blog about the love in your heart and no actual knowledge of lolita clothing. A passion for lolita and a desire to express it is considered unacceptable, a but simplistic or blind acceptance is preferable?

I've never really considered my blog - or any lifestyle blog - to be one of the great testaments of the lolita lifestyle. My blog is a summation of my thoughts, ideas, and experiences of and inside the wonderland of lolita fashion. It's my personal starship's log, but also a time capsule letter to anyone out there in space, reading. But it's more than that. It's not just a timeline of my experiences in lolita fashion. It's a tribute to my love and vision of lolita. It could easily have been in anything else - in diaries or artwork or photos. But this is the media and skills given to me in this age. I don't write my blog to keep up the grand stage-scenery illusion of my supposed perfect princess life. I think that is the crux of where lifestylers and those who stereotype them disagree. We both drape ourselves in the same fantastical fashions, and take our inspiration from the same sources. But somewhere there is a divide. Despite all the proof otherwise, the girls around them who honestly believe in this worldview... They still cannot believe there are people really like that fantasy. Girls who are really like that? No, that can't be. They must all be pretending, lying... and the lolita blog, a window into their lives and thoughts, must be just another elaborately-constructed marionette stage to convince us, thin as paper. I suppose that's what really gets me about the lolita lifestyle stereotype. Everyone is perfectly welcome to believe as they wish, and to disagree at that. It's not even that people who perpetuate the stereotype consider it all a joke, a ridiculous joke girls play on themselves. It's that the idea of a lolita lifestyle - and by extension the lolita blog in general - is all about convincing the skeptical audience.

I've come across this idea many times. The head of my dance department has openly questioned me in class as to why I would bother taking ballet, as my pink hair clearly begs for attention and I would do best to take theatre instead, where that desperate need could be quenched. I've been told that dressing differently or looking differently must be because I want the attention of the strangers around me. It's all about them, they constantly say to me. What you do is all putting on a show, so that you can have just another inch more limelight for your sorry ego. I object. My lifestyle - the choices I make in my life - are for me. The color of my hair, the hobbies I choose, what I decide to wear, and even what I daydream about - is all produced for the one second when a stranger will see me and make his judgement. Whatever box I have been placed in - freak, teenybopper, attention-seeker, delusional, or lying 'kawaii sparkle princess' - it was all meant for that moment. How presumptuous! One person's life created solely for the split-second entertainment of the other, a cameo appearance. It's really the ultimate display of ignorance.

Dalin of La Vida Frills offers her opinion on the sterotype of lolita blogging:

My opinion as someone who blogs about Lolita on a weekly basis and considers it a lifestyle, I'm not one that feels its something to be defined as a sterotype. Granted, maybe sometimes people can seem to find similarities and find that the inspirations from others create trends within the blogs themselves, but not one of us is exactly the same. Do I do things because of this fashion and only because the fashion drives me to? No. But, Lolita lifestyle has given me the push and drive to bring about the things that people once told me otherwise I couldn't be. Being the way I am now because of blogging and Lolita has given myself a new-found confidence in being alive and feeling it to. I don't blog really for the people who read the blog, I do it for myself. I prove the confidence I have now, and [it] gives me a chance to speak my mind when doctors told my mother that I would never be able to [speak], and to tell the people in my life that doubted my opinions.

For every lolita that blogs, with their unique thoughts and opinions, their lives and hobbies, that they bravely dare to express to the world at large: keep blogging, ladies! The world needs your tiny kingdom of daydreams.

Write your own lolita blog? Link in the comments! I'd love to see what you're all writing & daydreaming about.... what is your lolita love letter?

Want more about lifestyle lolita? Click the lifestyle tag! For this post especially, I also recommend the article Breaking Lifestyle Lolita Stereotypes.

Labels: culture, discussion, lifestyle

Monday, October 25, 2010

Separation of Sweet & Aspartame

Lolita fashion's best feature is its nature to evolve, grow, and redefine itself. As time speeds up, technology and trends flash through our society in a matter of months or years rather than decades, lolita fashion follows suit. As we've seen, lolita fashion has changed faces many times since its inception in the early 90s. Many girls may find that the lolita they first learned has changed drastically from lolita today. When I began in 2006, lolita fashion was nearly a whole other animal than it is today. Like Darwin set to fastforward, we can already see the changes happening right under our noses.

One such example of fashion mitosis? Sweet lolita.

Sweet lolita, for those who follow it and love it, has seemed steady and unwavering for years. The pastels, the lace, and the comforting prints that are reborn seasonally. Baby the Stars Shine Bright and Angelic Pretty stand as its two main pillars, both supporting and opposing each other. But now I see hints that sweet lolita may be beginning to branch.

Angelic Pretty, forefront of sweet style, has been honing a new direction for some time now. Bright pastels bordering on neon, more and more elaborate prints, and jelly-shaped hats and ice cream cones sprouting from lolita locks - supported by multi-colored wigs, of course. Is it decololi? Fairyloli? Just different? It's impossible to tell. It takes sweet lolita to new heights (both literally and figuratively, in the case of towering wigs bedecked with jewels, clips and teddy bears) and seems to hold the current reigning crown of lolita fascination, if not actual practice.

Baby the Stars Shine Bright has taken another tack - a retreat back to the delicacy and class that once that characterized lolita. I'm so glad to see them embracing their unique sense of lolita and femininity rather than chase after Angelic Pretty's it prints and customer market. They have resurrected and polished the cherished old-school lolita, turning out pieces that are deliciously sweet but tasteful and elegant. Pastels with black flock, soft florals, and Victorian collars and construction populate their shelves. They are still not classic, not to be lumped with Innocent World's chocolates and bordeaux and sage greens, nor Mary Magdalene's wines and creams. Themes remain the same: cakes, gingerbread, kittens and ballerinas - but they are worlds away from the shooting stars, shimmery donuts, and heavenly colored jellies and parfaits of the rest of the sweet world. A taste of some recent Baby pieces:

(top down: Merveille Doll jumperskirt; Odette de la Lac du Cygnes onepiece; Princess Honey Tea Salon jumperskirt)

Baby's take on sweet lolita is becoming the perfect style for sweet lolitas in transition. Baby, popular in earlier days, has a strongly loyal customer base. Their customers have grown with them through bunny-eared jackets and the early days of heart-shaped aprons; now that same customer base, perhaps one of the first generations of real 'lolitas' is growing up. They're getting married, or having children, or simply moving away from their teens and early twenties. Is this their answer to the previous generation? You don't need to move away from sweet lolita to enjoy its sugar and pretty diamond blues or spun-sugar pinks. Is this their steadfast revival of what lolita should mean to them and their customers - dollish, elegant, charming? - rather than continual half-hearted attempts to follow trends? Are they trying to cater to the dolly-kei and mori-girl crowd, who want fresh innocence and a new meaning to the word cute?

I have always considered it a shame that I have so few opportunity to purchase my lolita clothes in person. Baby the Stars Shine Bright especially suffers from this with the non-Japanese crowds. Photographed, Baby's pieces look unassuming and simplistic. In person, they are exquisite pieces of art and textile, lovingly rendered in sheens and colors that become suddenly present to the eye and touch. It seems that now they finally want to present this side of their brand - not just the obvious like circus printed-this or pony-printed that, but the perfect heart shape of a signature handbag, edged in exact lace, or the crocheted collars of soft and supple turtlenecks. It is a far cry from the popping and eye-catching stock photos of Angelic Pretty, who often reveal thin fabric behind their glittery faces.

Is the sweet world going to crack down the middle? Shall we start calling for more names (God forbid we have the bitter sweet debate again), more subcategories, and further cliques? I doubt it. Sweet has somehow remained united thus far, banding together by color and theme more than actual appearance or similarity. Just as sweet lolitas are completely unlike gothic lolita, they are despite deep differences and styles completely like each other. They are sisters, not cousins - perhaps, if we do mean lolita mitosis after all, more like fraternal twins.

What do you think? Do you lean towards Baby's maidenly sweet or Angelic Pretty's pop sweet? What would it look like to mix them together?

Labels: discussion, fashion

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Australia's Next Top Model Meets Kawaii TV

In the tradition of the Price of Beauty episode, here's another mass-media show where western fashion and kawaii culture clash. Western media usually gives a dismissive brush to Japan's subcultural fashions, and this has its share. But I'm not going to analyze every eyeroll, every Western model asked to wear frills, her faced pained and insulted, wishing she could be somewhere else.
Four Australian models from Australia's Next Top Model (a modeling competition/reality TV show, for those unfamiliar) are taken to Japan where they hook up with Kawaii TV and four Japanese subculture fashion experts for gal, fairy, schoolgirl, and fashion lolita - including the Kawaii Ambassadors Misako Aoki, famed lolita model, and Yu Kimura of fairy-kei/popkei.
It's always interesting to see girls who have no previous interest in the culture or fashions thrust into them. Because of their ages (around the 18 - 21 bracket) I can't help but compare them to myself and other followers of kawaii fashion in a similiar demographic. We've always known that the fashion is not for everyone - to them it may seem strange, or even silly - but it's amazing just how much we differ from these girls. Inside of our bubbles of fashion, magazines, blogs, music and friends, I find it's easy to acclimate to the culture I've chosen to live in. As I tell bewildered strangers, this life and style feels normal to me. Even my parents and close friends are unsurprised when I dash in dressed like a cupcake, a giant pink wig on my head stuffed with bows, stickers and jewels. Of course that's cute, I think to myself as one model is lucky enough to be kidnapped to Baby the Stars Shine Bright. Hop like a cute little bunny in a giant fluffy bunny-eared hat? I'd be delighted. But it's a rude awakening when one of the models derisively speaks of her prize for

winning the fashion show challenge... A Baby bonnet, pale pink and fixed with delicate millinery roses. Her hair pulled tautly back, she wraps it around her head and affects a mocking expression with her eyebrows. "I think it really suits me," she says sarcastically, toying with the ribbons. My eyes narrow. Unbeknownst to her are the thousands of girls who would scrimp and save for such a pretty ornament; unbeknownst to her are the thousands of yen it would cost to purchase (most likely 11 to 16,000, roughly $120 - 170 USD). She has know idea how many girls would die to even see a Baby shop, let alone get their personal tour and dress-up time with Misako Aoki, an idol and celebrity in her own right. This harks back to the Price of beauty episode - where celebrity designers and figureheads Maki and Asuka are treated as mere 'Harajuku girls'.

At one point in the video one girls says they tried not to laugh at each other's appearances, as they wanted to be respectful. This, at least, is a far cry from the Price of Beauty episode with Jessica Simpson, which could did not even attempt some modicum of decorum. While the effort is appreciated, I wish they could have taken this challenge more seriously and been more open-minded about the fashion they were experiencing. Although the western world tends to take fashion as one whole, branching down from haute couture, fashion and its principles are quite mutable and diverse across place, generation, and time. Assuming that anything other than the norm is costume-like or inferior is a very juvenile behavior. As stated in the show, many up-and-coming designers begin in Japan. Like it or not, Japan is placing its wedge(d heel) securely in the fashion world.

And, for all of their derision about kawaii fashion, it is worthy of note that the Australian models do not pull off the look very well. The Japanese fashion model (and ergo the lolita, gal, popkei and schoolgirl models) are of a very different design than the typical western model. The schoolgirl expert nervously chuckles about one Australian model's height, and as we've seen many times over in

the Paris lolita fashion shows (Baby the Stars Shine Bright at Japan Expo in Paris, right), there is something missing and out of place with the stereotypical western fashion model in lolita fashion. She can be done to the hilt in hair and makeup, but her sharp features, prized by western ads and runways, are not appropriate. In contrast, Japanese fashion models are preferred to be rounder-cheeked and doll-like, with large eyes and small, bunnyish noses. Many lolitas (Asian and non-Asian, from inside and outside of Japan) known for their good looks tend to possess these features. As Japanese fashion continues to expand, we've seen a change in what some cultures find beautiful - lolitas in many different countries have changed their views to value the same features as kawaii models already. I'm thankful, finally, for my tiny stature - though mainstream American culture tells me that tall, willowy girls are the ideal. These western models are considered very good looking and beautiful in their career field and culture, but what if the tables were turned? It would be useful for a model to keep exposures of all fashions and beauty ideals in mind; perhaps one day her career could depend on it!

Unfortunately it's the lolita model in this episode who is the most negative, saying she could hardly keep a straight face and declaring for the off-camera confessional, 'Oh, ew, girly pink!' The other models, some more than others, seemed eager to learn and do well with the challenge, despite being unfamiliar with the fashion.

Are my feathers ruffled from a simple lack of respect, as usual? Is this just more boorish outsider-ness that annoys me? At this point in the game I rarely expect mainstream media to accurately or favorably portray lolita fashion; but I always have that hope that someone will finally get the facts straight and reveal exactly the complex culture we have hidden behind our frills and candy-colored petticoats. I suppose I merely want the mainstream to, if not love, appreciate our unique lifestyle. But whether or not that will occur before our culture passes away (all good things and all fairytales must come to an end, eventually), is yet to be seen.

What are you reactions to the video? If you were unfamiliar with Japanese subcultural or kawaii fashion, would you feel the same as the girls in the video?

Note: This episode aired in September, but I only just saw it online, so apologies if this is old news to you!

Labels: cultural, discussion, review

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Beauty Myth: A Lolita Redux

Recently I've been reading The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolff, a feminist work discussing how our society's deep need to beautiful is impressed upon women as a form of control and dominance. Its prime point is that beauty and the desire to be beautiful is used to make women

We as lolitas often strongly feel the unspoken, society-wielded 'control' over our individuality: the continual rejection and dismissal of the lolita is in hopes of making her get back in line and behave. The people staring, the man asking if it's Halloween on the subway, and the rows of raised eyebrows. As I've previously discussed in Why Must My Public Be So Tiresome, the mainstream is constantly adjusting and hemming at the edges of society, trying to homogenize everything from fashion to politics. So when the Beauty Myth hit home in an unusual way - fear of being considered inadequate to society's beauty standards controls women in much the same way we as lolitas are afraid of being ostracized.

To bring the idea home: how many times have you felt like you'd rather stay home than go out with that monster pimple on your chin? The days you dread going out with hair that won't obey? What about days you find yourself constantly adjusting your petticoat and not meeting people's eyes? Are they different? Or as a lolita, even as we try to rebel from the mainstream, we can still be held under the spell of the Beauty Myth. Movies and television insist that only beautiful people deserve to have their stories told, or even more strictly, that stories only happen to beautiful people. And as we primarily consume magazines as a culture, we are shown that only beautiful people are lolitas - perhaps, to an extreme, that only beautiful people should be lolitas.

Now, on a logical level, we all know that's not true. Lolita is a wide fashion movement involving women from all areas of the globe, spanning the entire spectrum of appearances. If lolita fashion feels like the right way for you to dress and express yourself, then you shouldn't be barred from that just because you're not on the cover of magazine. But despite being rebellious, enlightened ladies of the 21st century, we're still taken in by the Beauty Myth. As we've seen through online confessions and secrets, it's obvious that the lolita community still has the many symptoms of the Beauty Myth: eating disorders, shapism, body dismorphic disorder, fear of aging, and competition rife with lookism everywhere. Is there any backing to this? Is this cultural structure impossible to escape, or do we have an added factor?

Lolitas chase the doll or princess ideal, at the very least that of an elegant lady. In our clothes, we strive for perfection - perfectly layered ruffles and buttons, perfectly lined-up knee high socks. In our appearance, we look for perfection also: perfectly brushed-out bangs, turned-out curls, and exact liquid liner. Hair perfection has been chased so much that wigs have been introduced to the scene, almost consuming natural hair; natural hair switches in the wind, bends out of shape, and can't hold a curl, whereas the wig always looks perfectly shaped and shiny. Photos and tutorials for natural hair are becoming fewer and farther between. False eyelashes are becoming more prevalent as well; and some lolitas never show their real nails. Perfection has made us hide our real selves in order to fit into the lolita version of the Beauty Myth. In a himegyaru documentary, one girl admits that she feels happiest when she feels 'completely artificial'. There is safety in being artificial, a complete construct of product and perfection meant only for photos and sculptures. Artificial things are perfect, and even if they are judged to be imperfect, it is something that can be fixed. Souls that are laid bare are much more vulnerable.

And what about when you are unable, for any reason, to achieve the look you crave? There are periods in lolita when girls retreat from the style, discouraged that they're not measuring up to the competition or their ideals. "It's making me depressed," I've heard friends say often. "I don't feel like keeping up with it for a while." Some return, some don't. Even I have experienced thoughts like, "I'll never get this coordinate to work," or "My hair won't do anything today, I just want to give up." There are times when you feel you aren't worthy of even the image in your head, let alone the image out there. Which is the stronger? Which holds you back more?

Is there an answer to handling the Beauty Myth? Well, yes and no. On the one hand, playing into 'being artificial' - being someone else - is a lot of fun, and perhaps some of why we like lolita and other extreme alternate fashion. You can be pink-haired or blue-haired or both with wigs; have crazy curls your own hair would never master; make your eyes look dramatic or cherubic with soft lashes. I love the artistic side of lolita - something I'd never want to give up! But on the other, not being aware of the Beauty Myth and its possible side effects has dangerous consequences. The Beauty Myth says that women are only as smart, funny, talented, or successful so long as they are beautiful - despite all else. All worth comes after our appearance. The antidote? Keep that in mind. It's easy to get trapped into that thinking as we watch the world go by, obsessed with beautiful people (celebrities, models), their fall from grace (so-and-so celebrity massively gains 55 lbs! other-celebrity gets not-so-secret nose job!), and the constant revolving circus of beauty products, anti-aging, roots, weight gain... the list goes on and on. Know that no matter what your hair, nails, clothes, skin, or body looks like today, you still have so much to offer the world. You don't have to be perfectly beautiful or even be a perfect lolita. If it's an ordinary day, I wear my real hair. Sometimes my bangs will blow around, sometimes my hair will uncurl - and it won't look perfect. But don't let this stop your from living your life. Dolls are beautiful. But they are hardly real.

Fight the myth. Be real.

Labels: cultural, discussion, feminism

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Dangers of Standing Out

As we waited for the subway, among the other milling New Yorkers, a man approached me and said his friend would like a photo with us. I glanced back at the 'friend' who seemed to be more interested in the pavement. The man had a leer I didn't like; what's worse, he reminded me strongly of a creepy ex-boyfriend of mine with twenty years added. It wasn't his physique or his haircut or his nose; it was a bright, unhealthy glow in his eyes and twitch in his gums. I tried not to look him or his friend directly in the eye while I said, no, no photos. The guy asked demandingly, why? A bad sign. Feeling irritated and wary, I said that we were just waiting for the train like everyone else and are not available for photos.

My friends and I boarded the subway and snagged some empty seats. Within moments we realized that the guys who had just been bothering us had sat down directly across from us and had a large camera out, snapping photos and then, even worse, directly filming us - with a blinking red light like a pervert's eye. The guy was leaning over to his friend and giggling as they watched the screen. We were not people sitting across from them. We were not real girls. We were little images on a screen, clearly for their enjoyment. Our only defense was to speak more and more loudly about pathetic people who get their kicks from bothering girls on the subway. After ten or fifteen minutes of this stalemate, a couple from the other end blocked the camera, giving the guy a great shot of the boyfriend's butt. Thus we made it to our stop and escaped. I couldn't help but glance backwards as we ran down the platform. The man was craned around in his seat, grinning like we were old friends. My heart hardened, and in true New York style, I flipped him the finger while Miss Lumpy grabbed my arm and ushered me away.

Fastforward a few weekends. My boyfriend lives in a very small, rural town in northern Connecticut, where there's no radio reception tucked into the edges of the mountains and the sunsets melt across the hills - a place I've often called 'God's country.' He doesn't agree. I didn't really understand it - the railroads, the sunlight, the fireflies that wink in the dark - what's not to like? Not only recently, when the carnival came to town, did his meaning hit home. The carnival there was small, set up on a green no bigger than a soccer field. I was excited to nab some cotton candy, ride the carousel, and take photos. He was nonplussed but willing to go until I mentioned I'd wear my Starry Night Theatre skirt from Angelic Pretty. He said to me: "Doll, I love you and I love how you dress. But you can't wear lolita to this. It'll be a problem." I laughed it off. People stared at his supermarket, yeah. People said things about my hair. What could they say that I hadn't heard before? I had long stopped caring about the comments and gawks.

He wasn't kidding. It wasn't until he said that he'd have to bring a knife that I began to understand. As he explained: there would be problems. They would be drinking. They would confront me, confront us both. It'd be five or six to his one. There aren't any police in his town - just a local trooper for the nearby villages. They didn't like outsiders and they didn't like anyone different. These were the kind of people who were going to start a fight if too many minorities came to their carnival. This was a small town with small people. It is far from New York City, far from Boston, far from even Connecicut's capital, Hartford. It wasn't the place for people to stand out.

I have been bothered in public before. Heckled, crazy questions, slurred at, photographed, all the usual things. Sometimes it was implied that our style was sexual. I've been called a cracker, hooker, freak, an embarrassment to my family. But there is an invisible line. Sticks and stones may break my bones, surely, but so can threats and videos uploaded to myserious websites and forums in the shadowy corners of the Internet, where footage of girls unknown to the danger can be replayed again and again to anyone who wants to see it. The memories and angers we replay in our own heads, at their disrespect, at the blatantly obvious fact that we are not human to these people. They do not know that we are lovers of toy dogs, makers of jewelry, collectors of Godzilla figures or writers of children's books or anything else. And what is worse, they don't care. Their ten minutes of fun have ruined the rest of the day, a shadow of primitive fear and suspicion that hovers over our previous joviality. Or worse, for those who are actually attacked and suffer the abuse, their few hours of fun have ruined lives. The lives of these girls, who had no idea what was coming; the lives of their friends and families and lovers who will suffer alongside them and never be the same.

How often does this happen to people in our community? How often does this happen to the alternative subcultures as a whole? Is it as rare as the media makes it out to be, or is it unreported? Do we pass these stories around furtively even amongst ourselves? I've heard snippets of rumors - girls who have had black paint thrown at them from cars, or that a man threw a slushie into a crowd of lolitas. Even more disturbing, a friend of a friend was actually attacked on the bus. While with another lolita and on their ride home, the man harassing her began to choke her. After both girls fought back viciously, the man suddenly just got up and left. When my friend angrily turned to two other men who had witnessed the attack and done nothing, they said it was their own fault for instigating the attacker. How had they been instigating? By 'looking like that'.

This isn't just a question of being lolitas, and it isn't just a question of being young girls or even adult women. This isn't just about feminism and a woman's right to take the subway in the middle of the day with her friends without worrying about being attacked. This is about the right of expression and right to follow a subculture. Subculture violence is not limited to our tiny kingdom - S.O.P.H.I.E, Stamp Out Prejudice, Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere, began when its namesake, Sophie Lancaster, was kicked to death in her small English town for being a Goth. She died protecting her longtime boyfriend from the blows of their teenaged attackers. This music video/animation was done in her honor to show exactly how she died and what the SOPHIE Foundation stands for. If you haven't seen it, please watch it; if you believe this should never happen again, repost/retweet/retumbl and get the word out.

Time and time again, lolitas have insisted that we are not out for attention. We do not dress up to be stared at or asked about or to feel some kind of limelight. It's been stated as much to me that the reason I and my friends get dressed up and go into the city is to be a spectacle. They say tha we must want and enjoy that kind of attention, if we keep doing it. They fail to realize that lolita is not about other people. In such a tell-all, reality-show, made-for-TV, pix-or-it-didn't-happen culture, we do not actually care about the people around us. If a lolita is alone in the forest, is she still a lolita? She doesn't need an audience to be a lolita. Lolita is for the individual. Lolita is about what I find attractive and how it makes me feel beautiful. It is my standard of beauty that I have adopted for myself, and how I want to see myself. It is how, after a time, I feel comfortable and how I see myself. It's always a shock for me to leave my bubble of friends and family and realize that to others, even my hair makes me alien to them. But to try to assimilate would be trying to be something else - something I am simply not programmed to do.

I admit, it took me a long time to write this article. This subject was hard to discuss, let alone write about and feel the closeness of home. I am lucky enough to live in a mostly tolerant, if unimpressed area. I'm from the edges of New York City, I love to spend my time in bohemian Seattle. I've never had to endure the hard edges of the deep South or the deeply conservative Bible Belt. I can only imagine how much worse it is for lolitas in areas even more restricted, even more determined to keep their world homogenous. And how they will go to any lengths to do that. For those who have experienced anything similar to what I have discussed, violence, sexual harassment - stay strong. You can do it. Don't stop being who you are.

Note: I've added LC's first 'feminism' tag, necessary for anyone who wants to start reading all of my lolita + feminism articles or who supports feminism from any subculture.

Labels: culture, discussion, feminism

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Yogurt is Not Cheesecake: And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves

Your typical office girl opens up a refrigerator. Inside is a looming cheesecake topped with raspberries, sending her into a craze of thoughts: who the hell left this cheesecake out where anyone could just... see it? Can she eat a slice and then skip dinner? If she only eats half a slice and then a handful of celery sticks, do they cancel each other out? What if she jogs in place while she eats it? Then to her dismay and obvious jealousy, her skinny coworker walks up and says, "Mm... cheesecake. I can't resist!" The first girl says begrudgingly, "You even look like you've lost weight," while her rival smugly reaches for... raspberry cheesecake flavored yogurt.

That's the punchline, girls. Well, according to the marketers, anyway.

What's really going on in this commercial? First we see a battle that unfortunately too many are familiar with: a dessert that you want but shouldn't have. Is this girl dieting or just worried about getting fat? She's clearly not overweight in this commercial - why is she so nervous about eating it? What does she see when she looks in the mirror? How many fad diets has she been on that she thinks 'running in place' while she eats it might be a good idea? What about her rival, the envied, weight-losing coworker? Does she envy the control she has over her own body and desires? Is she envious that she seems to drop weight without any of the deprivation and struggle that seem so hard for her? And what about the girl who tricks her body into thinking it's eating dessert while chowing down on fat-free yogurt? Would she rather chuck the yogurt and eat the real thing too, as she slops imitation goop into her mouth, thinking vengefully about her bikini-unworthy butt? Or is she really so pleased that she can happily 'have her cake and eat it too' like the commercial says? And why is she so concerned about saving the 100-odd calories she gets from eating yogurt versus the actual cheesecake? And craziest of all, the marketing think tank down at Yoplait believes that we should be identifying and nodding along in agreement with these calorie-counting, stomach-tricking, jogging-in-place people.

It's enough to make anyone - myself included, making the dog jump - "Just eat the cake already!"

The average woman has a very weird relationship with food. It's like the Mean Girls quote: "Girls who eat their feelings... girls who don't eat anything." Girls can go on juice fasts, liquidize wheat grass, try eating six small meals a day, eat suppliments, take diet pills, count points, stop eating carbs, cut out fried food, go vegetarian, go vegan, go whole-grain, go dairy-free, go sugar-free, go crazy. We know all that already. Every women's magazine, television spot, radio ad, and late night informercial is talking about how women lose weight. Slap on a few airbrushed models, a couple fashion week photos, and Playboy, and we've got our situation put together.

Let's wander out of the mainstream picture and start looking at our own little kingdom, lolita. As I always chant, lolitas are nothing more than regular girls experiencing the world a little differently. We're certainly not immune to the pressures of food/not food, size good/size bad. As much as we want to escape the confines of mainstream expectations, we still can't escape our own ideas of beauty and body image. Lolita, as a subculture, is based around the ideals of fashion, and fashion is based around the notion of being ideal. Fashion is to create an artwork out of an ordinary human being - to be a work of art. But when the canvas you see in the mirror is not like the ones you want to create, how do you cope? Lolitas are supposed to be doll-like, princess-like, mythical - things of perfection. I would estimate that many perfectionists are drawn to lolita, due to its nature - matching colors, tiny details, complex makeup and rigid structure. And perfectionists are the ones most susceptible to the malice of body image, even to the edge of body dysmorphic syndrome. A friend of mine, after a couple comments outright stating such, now worries constantly about a body part in lolita. Is it the usual hotspots - butt, boobs, waist? No - she's worried about her knees. Instead of picking out cute socks or enjoying a new dress, she's trying to figure out how to minimize her knees - tights? Over the knees or knee highs?

Even I have an on-off relationship with food. I spent five years with an eating disorder (anorexia) before getting help; and as anyone with an eating disorder knows, food is always a question mark. Do I want to stop at a food place on the way home, or do I want to put together something made of rice cakes and hummus, where no one can watch me eat these 15 calorie things? Is everyone watching me at the supermarket, and are they counting how many bags of Doritos in my cart? On worse days, the question might boil down to, "Do I want a sandwich or a cigarette?" As a model, especially a lolita model pressing for that ideal, Japanese-schoolgirl size, food and weight became a question best answered with math: if Baby, the Stars Shine Bright insists models to have no more than a 25 inch waist and you're sporting a 24.5, how big is half an inch between you, a brand onepiece, and the model next to you?

As an added monkey wrench, we're all trying to fit into clothes roughly the same size. Some developments have been made with brands putting out multiple sizes of clothes (like shoes, in small, medium, and large), but for the most part each brand has a figure in mind that they produce for. There's the Baby sized girl, the Angelic Pretty sized girl, the Innocent World sized girl, and the increasingly tiny Mary Magdalene girl and Juliette et Justine girl. Are you lucky enough to be dead in the middle of your favorite brand's measurements, or are you constantly checking sizes and shirring and waist-ties and length? Do you fall in love with dresses you can't fit into, only to get them home and realize the awful truth - or do you have 'thinspiration' dresses, dripping with ice cream cones for an added touch of irony?

When I started writing this article I wanted to be able to culminate with some kind of up-with-people, down-with-beauty-standards, womyn-hood chant. I wanted to say that we, having escaped the mainstream for our own beauty ideals, could flaunt away those body image problems like ribbons on the wind because aren't we special, magical little cupcake princess (breathe, breathe - I know this departs from LC's usual magical princess motto, but bear with me!) But let's face the facts. It's not true. Let's ditch the cheesecake-flavored yogurt-consistency lies and be real.

But I refuse to believe there is no hope. I refuse to believe that 'girls will be girls', that like countless generations of women before us, will forever be pinching cheeks and rouging lips and looking in the mirror and wanting something more.

The first step to getting real? Talk about it. When commercials, photoshoots, magazines, brands and even friends push you that carton of yogurt, pause. Break down the commercials and what they're really saying. Realize that models are air-brushed and go home to empty kitchens, measuring quarter cups of rice. Accept that fashion advice doesn't have to come from online forums and faceless usernames. Stop measuring out food in quarter cups and waists in inches. Measure out food in hunger and energy. Measure out clothes in beauty and comfort. Put down the magazine and wear what makes you feel the most beautiful and confident.

As for me? I went to the Cheesecake Factory - and ate the real deal.

Psst - want some music to listen to while you read this? Try Sticks by Alix Olson.

Labels: culture, discussion

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Lolita Nation: Vol. I

Subcultures are the vogue of our generation. For years we dissected the youth of the world into categories that seemed, to the psychologists among us, juvenile and two-dimensional: skater, jock, prep, and other high-school worthy labels. But eventually society began to realize that what may have seemed to be nothing more than local hoodlums or 'those weird kids' were actually something more. These groups began to develop their own customs and traditions, their own socialization patterns, their own 'tribe markers' and symbolism, and in some cases, even their own religions. They began to break away from the mass culture of their country and instead divide into smaller sects within it. This was what we call subculture. Some examples of subculture that most people are familiar with: the hippies, the beatniks, the goths, the punks... And now the newer, ever-evolving subcultures of the new millenium like internet culture, fandoms, steampunk, and even... lolita.

For the longest time, both in Japan and overseas, the debate has ensued: what is lolita to its practioners? Is it a fashion style alone? Is it a concept? Is it a state of mind? Is it a lifestyle? Or is it, like those other mold-breakingly attired peoples to come before it, a subculture?

To answer this question, there is the obvious: what makes up a subculture? What seperates subculture from a trend, from a fashion statement?

On the surface, lolita appears to be merely a fashion. It is heavily invested in clothes and outward appearance. Most girls do not spend 100% of their time in lolita fashion, or spend 100% of their time only with others interested in lolita fashion. Does this make it a weekend warrior-style hobby? Is lolita fashion no different than dressing in this season's florals?

When it comes down to lolita, it is not the clothes that seperate us most distinctly from the mainstream. Yes, those layers and layers of lace and petticoats may seem to be what all the fuss is about, but lolita fashion - the adverse choices in clothing we make - is not what lolita is purely about. Lolita fashion does not exist in a bubble, on a page, or in a theatrical production. Not only do we interact with the world as a whole, we are also interacting with each other.

Lolita fashion is the jumping-off point for our subculture. Whether it is the fashion that attracts like people together or like people are attracted to the fashion, it is hard to say. However, it is obvious that one of the most definable traits of someone in lolita subculture is their appearance. This isn't just about fashion (an entire other article could be written on fashion and how this relates to lolita social hierarchy, but I'll spare you this round), but also permanent changes to one's appearance. Just like industrial goth is usually accompanied by piercings, lolita has its own physical markings. Some of the most typical are blunt cut bangs or, more iconically, the hime cut; sweet lolitas may also lean towards unnaturally colored hair and lolitas of any style seem to favor bleach blonde. I'm currently sporting the 'split' - half blonde, half pink - which is in style at the moment. When I am asked about my unusual hair style, I usually want to respond - 'Well, it's in style right now with my culture.' To respond simply with 'in style' would be confusing if you're not familiar with the current lolita scene. In style does not mean in style with the mainstream. The mainstream is following completely different trends based on different nuances of pop cultural media and celebrities. The subculture follows its own trends and has its own perceptions of beauty, some of which may even be counterculture to that of the mainstream.

One of the most prominent parts of a subculture is its shared knowledge, morals, or even history. Lolitas possess at the very least a shared knowledge. This is fueled by the rituals and traditions necessary to execute the fashion style (such as, petticoats go below skirts), but also pop culture and its timeline, and a glossary of words specific to the fashion and the culture's traditions. While working through cultural issues with the crew of American Lolita, it became apparent that half of what I was saying to them was gibberish. "Wait, what is Moi-Meme-Moitie and how is that like Moi Dix Mois?" French accents notwithstanding, we soon realized that what the entire crew needed was a compiled short dictionary translating 'lolita' to English. Think of all the words and simple turns of phrase we inside the culture take for granted - JSK, OP, NWT, cutsew, shirorori, Kikikirara Shoten. To anyone outside of the lolita scene - the subculture - these words are entirely without meaning. But I could say these to any lolita and be understood. And this is only the tip of the jargon iceberg - because lolita subculture is heavily participated in over the internet, acronyms and shorthand are just as necessary. Some of the above terms are nothing more than letters, which stand for different terms - JSK for jumperskirt - which can then be translated into spoken terms when used in real life conversation.

Our shared history is from pop culture - the first Gothic and Lolita Bible, collection of popular models, and fashion trends of the past. Older lolitas recall the days of rectangular headdresses, Angelic Pretty's older prints, or the earlier works of Imai Kira. Kamikaze Girls is also a great example of how a shared fascination with pop cultural media has shaped our subculture. Many girls consider the film an initiation rite into the fashion and culture; many say that the lessons it teaches are the beginnings of lolita concepts and moral themes.

The fact that much of lolita culture is shared and participated in online also contributes to the notion of lolita subculture's shared history. High impact events mostly play out online, and many in the community participate - such as great scandals and scammer alerts. This shared history bonds us together. Those not present for earlier events usually learn of them secondhand - it's often that a lolita will say, 'Oh, it was before my time, but I heard about...' Lolita culture is mostly relayed by word of mouth or secondhand, in what could almost be considered an oral tradition.

Concepts are also part of the culture. Most brands or even magazines provide a basic concept or mission statement to solidify the look and emotion they are trying to portray. Another example is the basic concept of gothic culture - the darker emotions and shadowy style that overlays the entire genre. If I had to choose a concept to overlay the general lolita culture, I would say it is personal fufillment to the point of excess. In a word, opulence. The princess motif, the sweets-to-cavities style, the rise of decololi, all point at opulence - our Rococo inheritance - as our key theme. Other smaller themes are peppered throughout the culture - beauty for beauty's sake, a sense of personal independence bordering on solitude, a sense of entitlement, and a multitude of others. These themes unite our knowledge and media consumption into a mass interpretation. They form the basis for what our culture stands upon.

Dissecting a subculture piece by piece is an exhaustive process, moreso to argue the point. In honor of International Lolita Day, our bi-annual celebration of lolita fashion, community, and culture, I would like to declare that we as a group stand up and be counted as a subculture. This is Part 1 of the series. I will continue to discuss the argument supporting lolita as not just a fashion, but as a subculture throught the following articles. Stay tuned!

Labels: culture, discussion, international lolita day

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