Halloween Special Edition!

Cinderella's mother always told her to be good to the Fair Folk, so while her sisters went to the prince's masquerade ball on All Hallows' Eve, she prepared her gift for them - a little pumpkin fairy house!

They left her a special pumpkin as a thank-you right before midnight. Huh, wonder what that could be for?

Labels: holiday, review, tutorial

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 5:34 PM 10 Comments

Lolita In Snow: Winter Boots & Socks

Recently I discussed the topic of buying a winter coat - which coat you'll need and why, and how to choose something that works well for you. Now that the lines have filled out for the season, I'd like to talk about your next important winter accessory: lolita boots.

Lolita boots are typically only seen in winter months - adorable as they are, it's hard to feel enthusiastic about sporting a pair in 90 degree Fahrenheit spring weather. Most lolita boots are tall, to the knee, and made of man-made materials (though some can be made in leather for additional cost). Some models an also be found in ankle-boot style and mid-shin style, though this is rarer. The lace all the way up and can be decorated with bows, faux fur, pom-poms, cut-out 'lace', you name it. The look is supposed to inspire a 'lolita from the North Pole/at Christmastime' feel, and assume you will be peering into Victorian December window displays or wheeling through a field of life-size candy canes.

Lolita boots are much less practical than lolita coats. A lolita coat is usually moderately warm; and that can be helped with the matter of layers. The lolita boot is, after all, a lolita shoe designed for more a winter style, and therefore has all the necessary issues of a lolita shoe (which aren't really the best footwear on the planet). So if you would like to go tromp through the snow and cut down your own Christmas tree in them, it ain't happening - you'll probably kill yourself or get a chilblain or somesuch mishap. I've worn even Mudd brand granny boots for winters that wouldn't have stood up to such treatment. If you really need to do something intrepid, be smart and opt for real, snow-trekking boots.

The good things about boots are that they do have an extra layer against the cold, for one; for another, they stop your socks (mostly) from getting wet due to snow or rain. If, however, you're a puddle jumper and your winter mostly entails rain, I'd get a pair of cute rain boots instead. If you'd like to clatter around town and on the occasional dusting of snow through the woods, then you've come to the right place.


Brand and offbrand styles are available when it comes to buying lolita winter boots. I have yet to buy brand boots, but according to testimonials, brand and non-brand shoes are usually of similar quality and are sometimes even made in the same factory. I'm assuming that you're reading this article with the interest of perhaps never having bought lolita boots before or that you are most interested in bang for your buck, so I will be focusing mostly on the offbrand selection of boots in this article.

My favorite recommendation would be Qutieland. I've used their service before and liked it; they're very helpful and professional. So far they have a range of winter boots, such as these:



The pink pair is by Secret Shop, the prime dealer for offbrand lolita shoes (makers of replicas, most famously Angelic Pretty's Tea Party shoes).


You may have noticed a difference in the styles of the boots. A boot designed for a sweet lolita is usually heavier, rounded, and with more ornamentation - like additional bows, hearts on the shoe strings, and removable fur cuffs. I personally remove any 'removable' thing on footwear, as it typically means I am going to lose it as soon as I take a step outside my front door. Sweet styles are usually 'rounder' by having a rounder toe and a heavier, clunkier heel, also usually with round edges instead of square. A large base on a lolita shoe, as I may have mentioned previously, makes the wearer look more dollish and childlike. These are the kinds of shoes you'll often see replicated for ball-jointed dolls like the Super Dollfie or the Pullip.

The gothic or classic boots (they tend to be lumped together, unless you'd like to get punkier, at which point my knowledge fades) are more angular and historically inspired than the sweet boots. They're a thinner design which hugs the leg more closely and is with a more delicate heel (more of a low heel than a tall or smooth platform). These are my personal preference since they fit a wider range of styles, in my opinion. However, a platform may be more comfortable for excessive walking, as there is no added force on the ball of the foot from heels.


Lolita boots don't just come in the standard colors of ordinary shoes - like most items in the lolita fashion world, they come in a dizzying array of pink, white, black, brown, red and sometimes baby blue. As you can see in the example photo, one pair of boots comes in a beautiful, pale pink; the other is a rich espresso color. Before you just slap down your cash for the cutest boots you can spot (I know, I know, they look like bubblegum!) consider:

• Does your area experience slush, snow, or mud?
• How often do you trek through the elements, versus hiking a mostly cement city street?
• Do you have time to clean them or would you prefer a wear-and-go style?

The point is that your boots are going to be taking the brunt of the weather this year, and that means that pale colors like white, pink, or soft blue are going to rack up some serious mess. If you are a sweet lolita who deals solely in these colors, you might need to suck it up and clean them as soon as you get home, or when you arrive at work - muddy boots don't fit that clean-and-pretty dollish look! If they can be fit into your wardrobe, however, brown or black boots won't show every scuff or splash. This is a personal preference and time issue, but it is something to consider.

Labels: guide, shopping, winter

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 12:01 PM 0 Comments

50 More Easy Halloween Costumes for Lolitas

Didn't find what you wanted in last year's list? Here are 50 more Halloween costumes with lolita flair, or ones you can pull together from a lolita wardrobe.

1. Crow or Raven: wear your best kuro outfit with a black feather fan and a masquerade mask covered in black feathers, possibly with jet-colored rhinestones. Add black pearls.
2. Forest Girl: wear a leaf-colored dress and pin autumn leaves into a curly updo. Acorns with a gold spray paint could be pretty fascinators, as well.
3. Falling Star (like in Stardust): a navy dress with silver glitter sprinkled on it; wear shimmery stars in your hair and add star-shaped rhinestones to your face. Add glittery silver tights as a plus.
4. Wind-up Doll: Wear your favorite dress with a large 'key' mechanism in your back, made of painted cardboard with elastic straps. Make it steampunk with the edition of foam cut into gear shapes, or simply add gears from your local hardware store.
5. Nymph: Make a hairpiece of glittery purple or green grapes, possibly with butterflies as an accent. A glittery gold shawl goes perfectly with it and your favorite green classical dress.
6. A Madam!: Sexy up your corsets and dresses with gaudy, antique jewelry, a feather in your hair, and too much makeup; possibly a cigarette holder. Paint on an obvious mole.
7. Stephanie from Lazytown: A pink outfit with her trademark pink pageboy wig, and then act ridiculously perfect and wholesome.
8. Cowgirl: Use your favorite classic dress with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots; fasten a rope to your hip and carry a pop-gun. Go sweeter by using a pony-themed dress and paint your pop-gun pink!
9. Poodle: Wear a poodle-themed dress and use falls to give yourself super-curly poodle ponytails; wear a rhinestoned collar from the pet shop.
   
10. Mime: Use a black and white outfit with traditional face paint, and then say nothing all night!
11. Where the Wild Things Are: Tease your hair to huge proportions, make yourself a paper crown, and carry a scepter. Wear something furry.
    
12. Fifi Lapin: Make a paper mask like this one and then put on your most couture attitude - and brand, of course!
13. Film Noir: Use a black and white coordinate with carefully done black lipstick, doe eyes, and a pale face. Look endearingly at other people.
14. The Little Prince: Wear a pirate or prince kodona jacket and tawny tights or leggings; a red cape with medals, and perhaps a net, to catch a shooting star.
15. Fortuneteller or gypsy: use dark florals, a scarf tied round your hair, and Victorian boots; carry a pack of cards or a crystal ball, and wear lots of old looking jewelry with big hoop earrings.
16. Birdcage: Show off a birdcage skirt or crinoline and add a silhouette of a paper parrot or raven inside.
17. Bottle of Poison: Wear a deliciously Gothic outfit and wear an old-fashioned tag around your neck with the term 'poison' and a skull and cross-bones. If you want be adventurous, wear a black skirt with the Alice in Woderland quote embroidered or screenprinted, 'If one drinks much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is sure to disagree with one, sooner or later'.
18. Happy Pills: Wear a very cheery nurse's cap and apron, with a large jar of gumdrops or Dots as a purse or necklace; mark them as 'happy pills'.
19. Housewife: A retro dress with apron, pincurls, and pie jewelry. Make sure you've got a plasticky, red-lipped kisser!
20. Barbie: Don a blond wig and wear as much pink as physically possible (this shouldn't be hard for sweet lolitas!) and use bright pink, plasticky looking lipstick.
21. Tinkerbell: A mint dress with much in the way of glitter and tiny pom-poms stuck to your shoes. A lollipop would be an adorable wand.
22. Peter Pan: a Kodona jacket, green tights, a feather in your mini hat, and a jabot with a tangle of green leaves. Promise never to grow up and spend your time tormenting...
23. Wendy: A blue dress, without petticoat for a more nightgown look (optional), or simply in her bloomers or lolita nightwear. Wear sausage ringlets. Especially good if you go in a group and she and Tinkerbell are 'miffed' all night.
    
24. Evil Queen: Go aristocratic with a few 'poison' apple themed jewelry items, like a necklace, and do a large, teased updo and crown. Wear dramatic false eyelashes.
25. Fawn or Deer: Select your best chocolate-colored outfit and make some false tiny horns from clay to add to a headband; paint on some freckles for the speckled look of a young deer. Bonus points if you use a deer print dress.
    
26. Pincushion: Wear a plush fabric like velvet and add lots of bright brooches. Underneath the dress, affix some padded pillows where they won't be seen (backed with plastic for safety) and use them to stick in hat pins and pearl-headed pins. You could also make a pincushion into a headpiece.
27. Voodoo Doll: The same idea, but in black and white. Baste a 'heart' (or use a heart-shaped pincushion on the front) onto the place where yours would be, with a few pins stuck in; draw long X marks over your eyes.
28. Medical Study: Wear something like this and go as the Effects of Wrongful Corseting. See how many people do a double take!
29. Robin Hood: Very like Peter Pan, except with a pretty quiver of arrows and the accompaniment of...
30. Maid Marian: A lolita dress with ribbon lacing up the front for a slight medieveal feel, possibly of a brocade fabric; flowers or a pointed medieval 'princess' hat.
31. Miwako: The pretty pink-haired character from Paradise Kiss can be achieved with a cute lolita dress of your choosing (see episodes for ideas!) and beautiful pink curly wig or pigtails.
32. Piece of Cake: wear a cake hat accessory, a sweets-patterned dress, and a fork-and-sweets necklace.
33. Box of Chocolates: a variation on the cake hat as a heart-shaped chocolate box, with felt chocolates; a brown or chocolate-themed dress.
    
34. Victorian Apparition: Go in your floatiest white or antique white blouses and dresses, with dark circles and pale skin for makeup. Chiffon is a nice choice.
    
35. Vampire Hunter: especially fun to do with another lolita dressed as a vampire! Wear lots of punky, metal items and chains, with a stake. A rope of garlic or a crucifix is a nice touch.
36. Death Eater: For your inner Harry Potter fan, a kuro outfit with a black cape and plenty of Gothic touches is a creepy choice. Find temporary Dark Mark tattoos or freehand one in black liquid eyeliner.
37. Ghost Buster!: More for the nerdy-and-proud lolita, wear a military jacket and fake a special backpack set with a store-bought blow-up set or from an actual backpack hidden with fabric (embroidered dials?!) For the ultimate in juxtaposition, use your sugariest, over the top sweet outfit.
38. Scarecrow: A country lolita outfit with a few tufts of straw tucked around the hat brim, blouse, or jumperskirt staps. Paint big, 'stitched on' blushes on your cheeks.
39. Beauty Queen: Your most regal or 80s-prommish lolita dress, with huge hair, a bigger tiara, and a sash that proclaims your favorite attribute. Wave like the queen.
40. Ballerina: Go in a pair of ballet shoes, your best petticoat (gasp!) and a pretty leotard, bustier, or corset. Wear your hair in an elegant bun adorned with pearls, a tiny tiara, or flowers.
41. Marionette: Use wire to hold a cardboard control over your head, with strings attached to your arms and feet.
42. Dark Puppeteer: Good for those going with the Marionette, wear a dark cape, mask, and top hat while looking manipulative.
    
43. Red Riding Hood: Use a red capelet and carry a basket, possibly with a cute apron and matching red dress. Ask someone to go as...
44. The Wolf!: Tease your hair to huge proportions and add sticks and leaves; wear wolf-shaped mittens and any sort of fur items you have.
45. Rapunzel: Wear your most princess-y dress and buy the longest wig you possibly can - braid it for easier wear and then thread it with all your favorite clips or a bevy of faux roses.
46. Thumbelina: Have oversized accessories like a giant purse, huge hairbow (no problem there!) and a pumpkin painted to look like an apple.
47. Supergirl (In Disguise!): Wear a skirt and blouse with a Superman logo tee-shirt underneath, and wear the blouse unbutton. Girls with glasses rock this look especially!
48. Zombie: Inspired by the zombie walk or Zombieland, don your frills and then apply some undead makeup or prosthetics. If you're going to a party, bring cupcakes decorated to look like brains.
49. Michael Jackson: A military aristo jacket, one glove, and as many sequins as you can get your hands on.
50. Harlequin: Diamond-patterned tights, a black and white outfit, and glittery masque. Do your nails to match!

Phew! There, 50 more easy costumes to pull together from your lolita wardrobe. If you use any of these ideas, I'd love to see the results! Send photos to the Lolita Charm email :)

For added inspiration, here's Chelle of Mermaids and Flotsam dressed as a charming lolita-version mummy!

I'm going to my college's masquerade ball tomorrow night, so as for my outfit... you'll have to wait and see!

Labels: holiday

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 2:33 PM 7 Comments

Modern Maiden

Classic lolita, morigirl, chocolate, mocha, and muted roses are all in this season - and with them I think should be one more trend to complete the style. It's dignified, romantic, and floating; it brings images of Camelot, Pride and Prejudice, and Victorian girls who are not quite children and not quite married. I am speaking, of course, of the maiden-length hemline. The typical lolita skirt ends at or slightly above the knees, more the length of a Victorian children's dress. But the more classical or offbeat brands - like Emily Temple Cute, Innocent World, and sometimes Metamorphose - often bring a different style to the table. The longer hem line falls about at mid-calf, or at the longest, shin-length. Due to its length, a few considerations must be taken! Be careful of:

• bulky socks that may cause the skirt to ride up or catch; or worse, static cling! To avoid this, wear a half-slip (if you decide to forgo a petticoat, which you sometimes may with longer hems
• knee-high boots can show oddly under longer skirts - make sure they don't catch at the fabric
• choose the right petticoat, if you choose to wear one - Candy Violet makes the perfect long, chiffon petticoat. They also offer hoop boning for their princess-length skirt, perfect for a full, almost ballgown appearance. If you'd like to fit the boning under a different skirt, however, make sure there is enough fabric. I know that my maiden-length Emily Temple Cute dress wouldn't fit a set of hoops to save its life!

Not only can these lengths be more wearable to every day life, as they may omit or soften a bell-shape - they also stand out from the crowd and have something to say for themselves. They do possess a certain quiet elegance in my opinion!

Here are a few examples of beautiful, maiden-length skirts and dresses. They are from, in order of left to right: Metamorphose, Emily Temple Cute, and Moi-Meme-Moitie.


A maiden-length hemline can inspire all kinds of romantic fairytale coordinates! Here are a few additional ideas at bringing the maiden look into your everyday style:

• wear unusual sizes of braids in your hair - looped, in buns, across your head, or lots of tiny accenting ones. Use a hair elastic with a ribbon stitched to it to braid ribbons through your hair;
• add fur stoles or detachable fur collars to the collars of your dresses;
• tie a skeleton key around your neck with a velvet ribbon or a piece of string;
• embroider a small design like a crown or rose and use a jewelry frame to make it into a brooch or pendant;
• wear shoes with huge bows on the toes;
• Buy stand-alone bodices or bustiers to layer over blouses for a medieval, Sleeping Beauty look;
• any bodice with lacing ribbons is also very Renaissance style and will look sweet for a maiden style!

Use illustrations from Andrew Lang's fairytale books (I have the Pink and Blue Fairy books!) for inspiration, or the more flowy gowns of animated princesses - not just Disney, but also Don Bluth's Thumbelina or The Swan Princess. (Is anyone else a big fan of these not-Disney movies? If you haven't seen them, do! They're very beautiful.) Look for inspiration everywhere - you never know where you might find it!

I recently bought my own maiden-length skirt - the pink and bordeaux version of the Metamorphose Swan Lake skirt shown above! Photos to come!

Labels: fashion

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 6:10 PM 7 Comments

Is That Your Ankle Showing?!

Ever since lolita fashion came west, someone has commented on it with the legendary, 'Isn't lolita about sex?', and the lolitas had responded with a resounding 'No!' I've heard plenty of excellent responses on the debate of sexiness versus lolita versus completely innocent, from both ends of the spectrum. Some girls say that their significant others like lolita and find it appealing; some girls say that when they put on the frills, it might as well be a chastity belt - teacups and kittens only please. And of course there are the girls in between, praying that they'll meet the right Prince (or Princess!) Charming who will think they look adorable, frills or not. Usually I'm one of the girls who says, I don't care what about people think of how I dress - I dress for myself and that's that. My favorite quote is from Dollpart's blog article, which contains an essay written by her friend Minna.

“Well,” he told me, eyebrows raised, “what do you think men are thinking?”
“I think nobody cares what men are thinking,” [she replied]

And yes, this thought-form wormed its way into the documentary when we were asked about feminism in lolita! However, I've recently had an epiphany about girls in lolita. If my past mission was to explain that lolitas are simply real girls in frilly dresses, then my new mission is taking lolita back to wear it belongs - the streets. If we only wear our pretty things on rare occasions, to dress up for events only - are they really fashion or are they more - the dread word - costumes? I would like to see lolita fashion living alongside the modern girl. The modern girl goes to classes, goes to work, runs too many errands, and is typically too busy to eat lunch but would like to; the modern girl walks the dog, giggles at bars with her friends, takes the train, and occasionally, goes on a date.

Oh, my, did I say... date?

Yes, that modern girl, who loves her frills, her job, and her dog, she also dates. As I have heard it said, all human beings and how we present ourselves has some basis on the part of the brain labeled 'sex' - be it in the way of, 'Come hither' or 'Dear God get away from me'. And if you're looking to catch a cutie's eye, you might consider dressing a little differently.

I can hear you all now: Give up lolita?! Oh certainly not! Some girls choose to not wear lolita on dates or perhaps even at all with their loved one, but I'd like to think there is a way to mix the two together for something that pleases both parties. Do I mean, why hello there, meet the girls, Left and Right? Should shorter skirts be on the menu, or parading to dinner in naught but one's bloomers?! No and no again! I believe that being classy and being a little flirty can all be bundled up into the same outfit. The Victorians, who we seem to have inherited our sense of modesty from (does anyone else feel naked when dressing without bloomers?!) preferred to cover up absolutely everything, even things like the legs of chairs (which are said to have excited the poor fellows who couldn't help themselves, which leads us to - wait, what?). But we also may draw on our other parent of historical influence, the Rococo period, which if we may remember from Kamikaze Girls, involved quite a bit of sex and hedonism. I can't claim to have researched any of these methods (field study? gosh!) but they are the one Miss Lumpy and I have considered, somewhere between the realm of pseudo-science and a woman's wiles.


It's important that lolita not come off as too sexy or trampy, so as said, playing up cleavage, thighs, and bum (can anyone even perceive your bum in all those petticoats?!) are out. I would recommend either staying above the collar bone or below the knee. The collarbone, neck, wrists, and ankles, can all be excellent places to show a little skin.

Collarbone: As said in Looking Older in Sweet Lolita, square necklines instead of Peter Pan collars look less childish. By subtracting the fabric from the throat, it looks stands out after the rest of the outfit, that is built up in many layers. One of my outfits was a square neck cutsew with a heavy military jacket, and no necklace - leaving a bare patch of skin. A necklace would have put the focus on the jewelry instead of on the skin.

Neck: The neck is a very swanlike and curved area of the body, and with the correct updo, can be very attractive. Leave the neck bare of ornamentation with simply a few curls to draw the eye, or add a very thin ribbon as was popular in the time of Napoleon. Red ones look especially dramatic with Gothic style for the historical influence, but any color can be used.

Despite the fact that the cover up skin, high collars can also be quite pretty if left unadorned without a large bow or ribbon. They draw attention to the shape of the throat without showing skin, and when there is a gap in the back of the collar, adds to the allure. For this style it's best to do up all of the buttons - leaving one undone will look more casual than flirty.

Wrists: Some Rococo dresses had three-quarter length sleeves, which can still be found making an influence today. Leaving these without jewelry or by winding a thin length of chain around them can make them quite beautiful. Move your hands delicately to match this idea - bellydancers are told to pretend there are no bones in their hands. Or bring in the new trend of wrist ribbons - supposedly the next big thing. Random excuses for ribbons? Lolitas, make this trend a reality!

Ankles: Shoes with pearl loops, adding anklets to either your boots or simply in compliment to your socks, and the scandalous notion of going without socks (for you southern hemisphere ladies approaching warmer weather!) or even very low socks that peek just above the shoes. The ankle has a curving bone to its credit, making them look dainty and feminine.

Waistline: The lolita silhouette, that of the bell shape, accentuates the natural waist, which is the smallest part of the torso. Draw attention to this nipped-in area with a waist cincher or thin belt, or simply a ribbon sash.


Doll-like Lips: By doll-like, I mean with a very pretty pout. A lot of Japanese lolitas focus on minimizing their lips in photographs, presumably to appear more childish. Instead, use your lipstick or lip liner to form a rounder shape, possibly drawing a little outside the lines (make sure to set with concealer around the edge to avoid bleeding of color). Then add a dot of clear or shimmery gloss only to the center of the lower lip, enhancing its round pout. You can also use lip-plumping gloss, which has a slight bee-sting feel as it delivers a dose of collagen. Mine is from Victoria's Secret and it works well enough, but I've heard that Duwop's Lip Venom (found at most Sephora stores) packs a bigger punch.

Beauty Patches: Popular in the Rococo period, a beauty patch is an artificial spot applied to the face at a strategic location - a corner of the eye or mouth, for example. (I was always pleased as a child to think I looked 'French' because I have a real beauty mark on the left corner of my mouth!) Vivcore's Fancy Girl explains them very well here.

The Illusion of Cheekbones: Skip the super-round blush for a more delicate hilight of the cheekbones. By sucking in your cheeks and applying a darker tone in the hollow, you can fake sculpted cheekbones; then I use a little highlighting powder in crescent-moon shape on the bone around the outer edges of the eyes.

Curls: We all know that curls are a staple of the lolita look, but the loose or slightly out of place curl can be very feminine and attract the eye, especially if used to draw attention to the shoulders or collar bone. Try curling your hair without product, if possible - being touchable is an important feature of the look. Usually if you must have something for texturing or slight hold, Candy Fluff powder will come to your rescue.


This section is a little more for the witch in every girl, or just for the Victorian fun of it - if you're looking to attract a sweetheart, use a little attention from the universe in how you dress.

• Wearing a pair of any animal - a pair of birds, a pair of kittens (perhaps a brooch or pendant?) is a feng shui trick. Swans are best, as they're said to mate for life.
• Want a sweet, innocent love? Wear pink. For an exciting romance, wear red or bordeaux.
  
• A key or heart motif can represent the key to your heart.
  
• Rose quartz or pink pearls can attract romance. I have a set of antique earrings with a 1920s-cut rose quartz.
  
• Wear roses pinned as a corsage to the neck or strap of your dress. Just not yellow ones, as they're only for friendship or jealousy!
  

It's fun to play around with old ideas and twist them into something slightly different. I'd love to see what you do! May you be lucky in love and fabulously flirty!

Labels: culture, fashion, guide

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 11:30 PM 6 Comments

Galatea

Just what I wore around campus today! This dry fountain is in the forgotten courtyard of Davidson Hall, with a cracked woman made of stone.

I'm also pleased to say that this is the beautiful dress I have bought from I Do Declare, a soft sage creation of brushed cotton with a Victorian drop-waist and dusty rose velvet ribbon in the trim. It's really the materials that made me fall in love - the fabric is so soft, and the velvet touch is perfect. I can't wait for her to start sales! Until then you can read the brand blog for I Do Declare.

Jumperskirt: I Do Declare
Bow: Claires
Socks: Baby the Stars Shine Bright
Cardigan: Old Navy, embroidered by me
Shoes: DSW
Blouse: unknown

Here's also a shot of the ribbon embroidery I did a year or so ago and my manicure:

Such chunky ribbon! But the overall effect is sweet, I think. I'm inspired by the cardigans Chelle always wears on Mermaids and Flotsam. She's such a dear! And cardigans are a great item to transition from autumn into winter. Today it was a little cool for just sleeves, but of course too warm for my fur-trimmed coat. The perfect answer!

x-posted to daily_lolita

Labels: outfit post, shopping

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 9:44 PM 7 Comments

On My Vanity

I've had a lot of requests to talk about some of my favorite beauty products on Lolita Charm, so here is my list - at long last! These are just my absolute go-to staples, I'm not sure if I could along without them.

Labels: cosmetics, shopping

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 8:18 PM 20 Comments

On Your Mark...

So, we all know what the end of October is about - Halloween, and with it Halloween Fairs, Halloween Lucky Packs, and plenty of bonbons (as Fancy Nancy reminds us, that's French - and therefore fancy - for candy!) But if you are part of the secret group, the select few, the end of October spells something akin to insanity, to endless amounts of coffee, to late nights, to frenzies of typing. Because November 1st is not just All Souls' Day. It is also...

the first day of Nanowrimo!

Nanowrimo, or National Novel Writing Month, is a project which encourages you to write a 50,000 word novel in one month (which works out to about 1,600 words a day, if you stay on task). Last year I posted about Nanowrimo since as every year, I participate - and I am here again to remind you to get cracking!

Nanowrimo is the month to let out any story in any particular form, a crazy mess that might have a few nuggets of good ideas of good writing buried within it. I've known many lolitas to compete as well, and use the opportunity to write gothic novels about vampires and funerals, sugary Alice in Wonderland tales, or Pride & Prejudice inspired intrigues about arranged marriages, violin lessons, and horseback riding. Your novel can also be written from any country, anywhere in the world, in any language - so everyone can participate. You 'win' by hitting the 50,000 word mark before midnight on November 30th, on a purely honor-based system. You win, primarily, the fun of the experience, the satisfaction of winning, and answering the age-old question of, 'What if I have a novel in me somewhere?!'

I'm not sure what sort of novel I'll write this year - maybe about a sugar-loving vampire with an arranged marriage?! But I can't wait to put together a whole new cast of lolitas, dandies, and aristos to drop into a world I've designed - the ultimate dollhouse!

So will you be writing with me? I'd love to hear your ideas for a lolita Nanowrimo!

Labels: event

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 11:23 PM 15 Comments

Surviving a Fashion Identity Crisis

It happened to me. I was lolling over my laptop, scrolling past rows and rows of pink Angelic Pretty dresses. Tea party shoes. They come in every color known to the lolita (essentially, pastels, the only color our rods and cones can perceive, apparently!), every lolita seems to have about three pairs stashed in her closet. Even I have a pair of white ones, or, to turn a phrase, 'marshmallow'. And when I wore an outfit that required white shoes, out they came - as my requisite pair of white shoes. So there I am, at the hairdresser's, balancing my tea parties on the chair bar, when a twenty-something women walks in - in these adorable high heels. I look at her shoes. I look at my shoes. And I realize that lolita shoes just don't do it for me.

As my friends well know now, you can hear me coming - I'm the only girl on campus who routinely wears a pair of heels. My tea parties are officially unused in a box in my closet. They're very cute - on other people. I like they way they look on other girls - but they're not for me. They don't put that spring in my step, make my feet feels like an elegant pas du chat, you know?

I think that was the first of many tiny fashion identity crises.

Lolitas have a unique difficulty when it comes to what they wear and why. For the beginner lolita, it's not as bad - you just found this new, beautiful style, and want all you can get. Gothic and Lolita can be your sole subscription. You can wear an Angelic Pretty coordinate fresh off the page and feel happy about it. Or even after all your long years in the fashion, you're still a purist. That's great - you help keep the foundation of our fashion alive! But some of the older lolitas start having a problem, especially as they are exposed to more and more new ideas - whether from Japan or otherwise. They start wanting to... color outside the lines, so to speak.

And that's ok too.

The trouble is that, to identify and be accepted as a lolita, you must wear lolita items in a certain formula. It's not enough to simply buy a bunch of brand and wear it however you like - wherein lies the issue. Even a silhouette might not be enough to consider an outfit lolita - in my last outfit, the hairstyle (fluffy ponytail), shoes (high heels) and unusual blouse could all make the case for 'not really lolita'. Even though the effect is very sweet lolita, it isn't quite up to formula. A peter pan blouse, lower-heeled shoes, and fluffy pigtails might be all that's necessary. But that's enough of a difference, is the general consensus.

Lolita is, in my opinion, developed as a subculture - not just a fashion style. But for it to be a subculture, it needs to loosen its rules on who exactly can be in that subculture. Would my outfit not allow me to say, this is lolita? I would love to see lolita expanded beyond the formulaic definition to include styles of the same aestheticism that aren't exactly on pair with anatomy, so to speak. Often demoted to 'casual' style, I feel these outfits are lolita in their own right. They don't require any less care, femininity, or possibly even brand. Here are a few examples, scanned from my copy of Alice Deco a La Mode Volume 2:



Of course, this is also impacted by who you encounter in your clothes. Are you going to be presenting the outfit to other lolitas, online or in person, or will you be simply wearing them around? And the real question is, should that matter? Does anyone have the right to say, well, most of the time you fit in, but that ponytail's not lolita, so for today you're no longer 'in' lolita? This clashes with the idea of the subculture. For a fashion indiscretion, you can be tossed from your chosen category - if only for today. Often people say, just don't call it lolita and then you can wear it however you want, but I'm not sure if I agree with that. There is an importance to keeping the style, as a basis pure - much like foundation, but it's not only the foundation that makes a prettily made-up face.

I think the root behind 'fashion identity crisis' is that we, unlike other fashionista, have an identity - that as a lolita. To suddenly feel like part of that identity doesn't work for you is a little scary. You worry that if headbows aren't you thing, maybe you're drifting away from lolita? Or maybe you feel your current substyle isn't hitting the mark anymore? And if that's the case, will you no longer be into lolita, which has worked itself into so much of how you identify yourself?

• Decide what it is you like about lolita - the colors, the motifs, the princess style?


• See where else you find those elements, either in Japanese or mainstream fashion. For example, sweet lolita and fairy-kei share a lot of the same color palette, and himegyaru has the same princess feel.
  
• Make a collage of look-book of all the items, coordinates, or photoshoots you like. You can either print and then paste your photos into a real book, or you can just save them all to a folder on your hard drive. I have a huge folder called 'inspiration'!
  
• Apply to your wardrobe as needed!

Sometimes we continue on our path to lolita, sometimes other styles begin to mix with that, and sometimes we quit all together, and that's fine, so long as you are happy with your style. I would love to see the name lolita expanded to more fluctuation and ability to mix-and-match, across style and within as well as outside of the formula.

How do you like to wear your lolita items? Do you prefer to stay inside the lines or go beyond that? Do you think it's important that lolita remain specifically 'lolita'?

Labels: culture, discussion, fashion, inspirational

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 4:29 PM 16 Comments

Quaintrelle Quadrille

I was inspired by Vivien Hoffpauir's new world of style, the quaintrelle, and decided to give it a go yesterday! Lately, my style has started taking influences from fairy-kei, himegyaru, natural-kei, and mori girl - all mixed together with a big scoop of lolita. I will never stop wearing lolita, but I love to play with these other elements and see other people playing with them as well - so I joined my_quaintrelle, a community very much like daily_lolita but aimed at all of the whimsical, fairytale fashions. If you've ever worried that your outfit isn't quite lolita - if you've been playing with maybe too many crayons in your drawing, so to speak - this is the place for you! I can't wait to see how my_quaintrelle evolves as more girls begin to bring their own visions of fairytales and sugarplums to the mix. Here's my fairytale:


Skirt & bustier: Baby, the Stars Shine Bright
Socks: Alice and the Pirates
Shoes: Harajuku Lovers
Bag: Betseyville by Betsey Johnson
Blouse: I don't remember now, but I wore it to a middle-school dance with my first love... and yes, it still fits!

Little grey bow: handmade!


I made this little bow in about two or three days, it's pretty easy! It should be much easier, as I'm a terrible knitter. It's simply a stockinette stitch, 25 stitches across, with a pink crocheted flower stitched to the center. The center of the bow is a lucky mishap - I started with 10 stitches and somehow ended with 25, but that was just what I needed to manipulate it into a little grey bow! Then it is stitched to a hair clip. I love textured things in winter :) Hopefully this inspires you to make your own little knitty bows!

Labels: outfit post

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 12:05 PM 13 Comments

Candy Violet Atelier!

Vivien Hoffpauir, businesswoman and designer of Candy Violet, has long been a staple of the lolita world. Often she's been used an example of a high quality Amerian lolita brand. Previously her line mostly handled a unique system of free-standing bodices or bustiers, meant to be mixed and matched with her various skirt designs. She now takes her style up a notch to begin her new line: the Atelier Collection (currently featuring beautiful winter coats and accessories)!. She graciously agreed to a Lolita Charm interview, and gladly tells all about her dreams for Candy Violet, the styles of a Victorian-inspired winter, and the new, whimsical world of the quaintrelle.

Lolita Charm: Why did you start the Atelier Collection, in addition to the usual line of Candy Violet?

Candy Violet: I started the Atelier section to be able to out out more experimental pieces without taking the huge gamble of manufacturing the pieces on a large scale, as well as some intricate handmade items to keep things creative and interesting. My dream is to be able to have items like we currently have in the atelier section manufactured for our regular catalog, and to fill the atelier section with some really extravagant pieces that we really couldn't have mass produced. Steel panniers, corsets and gowns. The only way we can make that happen however is through strong sales of our label, supported by the community.

LC: What inspired your last line, Visions of Versailles?

CV: I've had a long time love affair with the 18th century and after a trip to Versailles in the spring I thought that might be the perfect place to start! I took inspiration directly from some of my favorite portraits of the women of Versailles. Each dress was based a famous (or infamous) Versailles belle!

LC: What inspired your current line, Stroll About Town?

CV: This one came from a coat I made last year, and one of my favorite items in our regular catalog right now, the Victorian Promenade dress set. I was thinking about Victorian walking dresses when I designed that set, and took it further for this event with all the clothing and accessories a girl might need for a stroll about town in Victorian style! This event is pretty much all the things I wished I could have released into the main catalog along with those dress sets.

LC: So, it seems that the Atelier Collection rotates on a theme. How long does on rotation last, and what can we expect to see for the next theme?

CV: These have been by season, but the future is pretty unsure right now. If the items don't sell well from this event there's a good chance there won't be a next event. Right now any possible future atelier events look like they are going to be accessories only. The clothes were in large part an experiment to see if the market was ready to spend money on high end items from a brand outside of Japan, and right now I'm not sure that they are. The sad thing is as a designer you always have to bow to the simple economics of it all when it comes to running a business. I have plans for a jewelry event next time around, but right now we'll have to wait and see.

LC: You also moderate the Livejournal community, lifestyle_lolis. What is your concept of a lolita lifestyle?

CV: That's a tough one. To me just as the fashion is about escapism and taking that old world charm and frivolity into your wardrobe, "lifestyle lolita" is about taking the same ideas but in things beyond clothes!

I don't think a "lifestyle lolita" should have to drink tea all day or follow etiquette manuals to the letter 24/7 (unless that's what she wants to do!), to me it's more about trying to bring a little old fashioned fancy into your regular life. I like to collect tea cups and drink out of those on a night when I'm winding down, but I'm still also a hardcore girl and enjoy working out to old youth crew records. To me it's about striking a balance and making your life feel as beautiful as you do if only for a few minutes a day.

I think it's personal to each lolita though, just as the fashion is. I've also recently changed the community to vie_quaintrelle to open the community up to a wider group of people who enjoy these fancy things.

LC: You’ve toyed with the name lolita before in the past, using different terms like coquette and quaintrelle to describe your fashion’s style. Can you expand on that?

CV: Basically the word "lolita" has a hard and fast meaning in the West, and it's not one that fits the style or lifestyle in my opinion. I also feel it's kind of sad when a person comes up to me and my friends on the street and asks what we are about, that there is always a one minute explanation, followed by a two minute excuse about the name. After a few qualifiers you've lost their interest. I never want to feel I need to make excuses for something I have pride in.

Coquette came from the gallants and coquettes in 18th century literature, the flirty, fashionable, and fantastically dressed young men and women who were the driving force of the fashionable scene. That one again fell short with the modern meaning that can sometimes have a negative connotation too.

Quaintrelle however is a word that perfectly describes lolita, even the stem, the word "quaint" perfectly describes the style without any bias that skews us away from the gothic or sweet style. A perfect neutral and a perfect fit!

"A 'quaintrelle' is a woman who emphasizes a life of passion expressed through personal style, leisurely pastimes, charm, and cultivation of life’s pleasures. Quaintrelles are not female Dandies; rather, they share the same philosophical underpinnings of dandies, developed within feminine nature and styles."

LC: Do you think that the term quaintrelle is different than the term lolita, and in what way?

CV: I do, it's more than lolita. It's a term that for any one who dresses in an elaborate style based on the past and enjoys a lifestyle that reflects that. I think my site Fancy Girl is a good example of what I'm shooting for. I would say lolita is a style that can be worn under the blanket label quaintrelle, as well as others like neo-historisim or natural-kei for the Japanese street fashion oriented. But the word quaintrelle is more open and means much more than just another word for lolita. It's a subculture and not just a style (like many see lolita) it's also not dependent on the whims of Japan the same way Lolita seems to be. For me as a designer it's a word I hope to operate under in a way that leaves me more open to trying new things outside of the tiny lolita style box, and one to really bring together girls who share the same outlook. I think it could make us fancy girls a stronger group! I just launched my_quaintrelle as a daily style community so every one can share and see the different looks people are creating in that same theme.

LC: What’s the best advice you could give a beginner lolita?

CV: The biggest piece of advice I would give is build a solid foundation of separates, such as dress sets and accessories, these will make a versatile wardrobe fast and on a budget. It's hard to wear one dress many ways, but if you have a lot of smaller pieces you can put together so many knockout outfits with relatively little in the closet! Be yourself, and look deeply. Look at lolita images that move you and think about what it is that speaks to you, and how you can pull that together into a lolita style that suits who you are. I think those are the biggest lessons I learned!

LC: What is your favorite Candy Violet accomplishment to date?

CV: That our garments are professionally produced. It was a huge investment and a huge risk, but it meant that we have been able to serve so many more people, and offer a consistent high quality in our pieces. I think everything I did up to that point was building to that.

Want to support the Stroll About Town Atelier Collection? Click here!

Labels: interview, shopping

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 1:11 PM 6 Comments

Lolita Not Dead: Frills and Chronic Illness

If you've been following me on Twitter or Facebook, you've probably been aware that the last few weeks haven't been good for me, medically speaking. Lolita Charm has been written from the hospital, during sick days, and around doctor's visits. And I won't lie - it hasn't been fun and unfortunately, it hasn't been unusual. Lolita Charm was founded just as my kidneys failed - and it was either write, write, write, or watch the light change in my bedroom, while I fluttered in and out of consciousness.

Perhaps that's a little personal for a fashion blog, you might say. But I want to discuss this because I know I'm not really alone. It's not just me - there are plenty of girls in the community who are sick and suffering through it with only a handful of lace and ribbons as their final lines of defense. Mostly these things come up on the loli_secrets community - girls admitting that they have cancer, or would trade their best brand for a working organ. There also the girls who have mental disorders manifesting physically - everything from anorexia and bulimia to bipolar disorder.

So I want to share with these girls some things I've learned from living with lolita and chronic illness.

For once, people will be more interested in how you are dressed than your disease.

Long, puffy bloomers and petticoats can conceal any manner of bags, tubes, or other hardware implanted into the stomach. I've always said you could hide an AK-47 in a petticoat and it's true that it's easy to hide things under layers and layers of poof.

Look at your sickness from another point of view and take guro photos - you're already equipped, you might as well. Maybe what you think is ugly can be seen as beautiful from the other side of the camera lens.

If you need a cane to walk, find some aristocratic and Victorian to accompany you.

Do up your nails - they're probably at least one thing that can always be beautiful, even in the operating room.

If you must spend a great deal of time being sedentary, learn a craft like tatting, knitting, or embroidering. Depending on your mobility you can learn to sew your own clothes, as well.

Read. There are many examples of lolita-worthy literature and can be taken to the hospital or the treatment center.

In lolita fashion at least, wigs are acceptable - for thinning hair or lost hair as the result of medical treatment. Make sure you wear something underneath to keep from irritating your scalp.

Long gloves can hide bruises and marks from IVs or blood-drawing, and short gloves can hide diabetic needle pricks on fingers.

If you are in a wheelchair, you can use double-sided tape to keep your skirt from flapping around. (courtesy of the egl memories and moonacidyue)

Expose yourself to as much sunlight as possible, and use a We ♥ It to keep up your spirits. The stress of being ill really can take a toll on your spirit; try to be kind to it.


Above all, just try to go with the flow and act out of love. You can't go too wrong with that.

If you want more suggestions for less serious illnesses, try my previously written article designed for surviving the cold & flu, called Uh-Oh!


Lolita has been there for me when I thought nothing could make me smile again. Small distractions like a new bow or a pretty photograph can be the difference between a horrible day and one with a spot of sunshine. If you're reading this right now, and ill, please know that you just need one day at a time, or one minute, or tying one bow, or buttoning one button. Little by little. And that you too are worthy of feeling beautiful.

Labels: discussion, inspirational

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 9:45 AM 28 Comments

Kicking the Fructose: Old School Sweet

Has too much sweet been giving you a toothache? Do you think if you see one more candy-bunny-sugar-bow-laden creation you'll decide to live in the woods? Maybe you're suffering from the effects of sweet overdose - a new phenomenon. Sweet lolita has evolved over the years, and is actually descended from a more refined, but still pastel and romantic style. As shown by F*** Yeah Lolita's recent Old School series, sweet lolita used to be a highly different creature, almost what we would call classic today. As sweet has begun to bleed into today's more modern genres like decora and fairy-kei, there has been some nostalgic longing for the style of days gone by. When I first started dressing lolita, prints weren't nearly as big. Baby the Stars Shine Bright dominated the scene with pink houndstooth and solid ice cream colors, looking more like an elegant neopolitan than a bag of gummy bears. Many of the resources available at the time were backlogs of older lolita magazines, like the ones on Avant Gauche. But today, Angelic Pretty (and its subsequent Sugary-Carnival-Sweet Jam-Cherry-Berry-Bunny fest) reaches an increasingly wider market, and the decololi phase means that more is more. But the softer, older style is still appealing for those who can't take the fructose rush anymore. If you want to try this retro-sugar look for your style, here's how to do it.

The main difference in the styles are color schemes and adornment, both in the accessories and in the dress themselves. The older lines were simpler, with generally less ruffles and bows all around - and certainly not the bows-upon-bows theme we see carried out in Angelic Pretty's latest collections. The colors were still pastel, but with a lower saturation. Pinks were also given a peachier hue, and blue was a truer powder than it was an aqua. Sweet favored more bordeaux and cherry red; sage also made an appearance at spring.

Some brands are still producing old-school sweet for the diehards; Baby the Stars Shine Bright routinely has items that fit the bill. If you honestly can't find what you're looking for there, try trolling the Japanese auction sites for older lines of Angelic Pretty, Baby the Stars Shine Bright, and Metamorphose (which used to be considered a sweet staple, and has now been more switched to the area of punk and avant-garde). Use the magazine scans of Avant Gauche for reference if you're not sure. Some traits defining an older sweet style item are:

• solids and florals, or 'solid' patterns like tartan or dots
• cluny lace
• heavier use of cream instead of pure white
• low ornamentation (no excessive pearls, rhinestones, etc)
• colors in an item are typically listed to two or three at the most - older lolita were taught that a good coordinate matched their blouse, shoes, and socks to the lace color of the dress.

• For accessories, focus on the traditional rectangular headdress and smaller bows - the head-eating bow wasn't as prevalent at this time. Soft bonnets were also popular, in half, full or 3/4 coverage. Often these hair pieces were worn with ribbon ties, mostly under the chin.
• Socks tended towards solids or simple designs, and popular shoes included platforms and rocking horse shoes (once it seemed like every lolita had a pair; now I think it's safe to say that it seems like every lolita owns a pair of tea parties!). A thick sole with a wide bottom both balances the fullness of the skirt and also makes the lolita herself look more delicate, increasing the dollish image.
  
• Also popular but now rather obscure is the lace wrist cuff or 'wristies' - gathered lace worn as bracelets. There is some debate on how to wear these, but personally I prefer to wear them lace facing towards the fingers, as shown on the models. However, wear them in whatever way is most comfortable to you.
• There are some items that are long-running, accessory wise - I have no idea how long Baby the Stars Shine Bright has been carrying their heart-shaped purse, for example, so it would make a perfect edition to an old school sweet coordinate.

• There were also a few hair styles in vogue at the time - namely, the sausage-curled pigtail and the hime-cut with thick, straightened side bangs. Usually hair was a natural color (no pink!) and without added rats or too much teasing, although long extensions were sometimes seen.
  
• Makeup was more natural with less color applied (even so far as using a lighter shade of foundation), and lips were supposed to look glassy rather than glittery.

Though we often admit that lolita is a childish look, even the sweet style once had more refinement than a child - clearly a young woman dressing as something from a different place. Today's style is adorable, and has its place - I encourage the fashion and everyone's personal fashion to evolve - but the older sweet was also stunningly beautiful. To lose it amid the trends would be a shame. Show your support (and your lolita history knowledge!) by adding a little more fairytale and a little less Splenda to your wardrobe!

Have fun kicking the fructose - and kicking it old school! ;D

Labels: fashion, guide

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 11:11 PM 12 Comments

October Style Tips

• Use a drill to make tiny holes in your jack-o-lantern and then string fairy lights through them. A great alternative to the typical candle, which can cause burns on the inside of the shell. Or if you'd prefer to avoid lights altogether, just glitter the hell out of a few.
  
• Pumpkin foods - seasonal treats - are available now! Pumpkin latte, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin cheesecake!
• Get a copy of Martha Stewart's Halloween magazine - my favorite to see Halloween done up classy. She always has amazing costume and decorating ideas, too! Maybe this year I'll go as a raven from one of her magazines... (And most of the pumpkin deocrating ideas can be found on her website, as well.)
  
• Try out a simple Gothic Lolita coordinate if that's not your usual style - it makes a beautiful Halloween and late autumn statement. (Protip: borrow from your dark-loving friends if you'd prefer not to invest in one yourself!) Try black velvet, soft black lacy gloves, or just a few stunning midnight blue or bordeaux hair corsages.
  
• Get together your girls (or just your cat!) for a few creepy-cute movies. I just watched Coraline and loved it - so visually thrilling! I really recommend it.
  
• Use a scrub made of brown sugar and oats on your face to clean up oils and dry, itchy, winterized skin. Try this recipe here.
• Get your craft on, girls! Now is the time to start knitting long, creamy scarves, campy bows, and floppy flowers. If you have a copy of Tokyopop's Gothic & Lolita Winter edition, use it for ideas! Here's a great project if you like to crochet. I'll be posting some results of my crafting later on :)
• Break out microfiber leggings, over-the-knee socks, and hide shorter socks in your boots. Keeping your legs warm when out in the wind can make lolita much more wearable.
• Add darker tones to your hair color, like mahogony or cinnamon for brunettes/redheads, cool honeys for blondes, and dark chocolate for dark hair. Can't make the commitment? Try a wig in one of these colors! I like Gabalnara for wigs right now.
  

Labels: style tips

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 12:00 AM 2 Comments

Velveteen Girls

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." ...

"...That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

I found a book recently at a church rummage sale - a slim volume called The Velveteen Principles: A Guide to Becoming Real. It's a little self-help book speaking about the hidden wisdom in the children's story, the Velveteen Rabbit. I had been entranced with the Tao of Pooh and the subsequent book the Te of Piglet, my interest was peaked. I bought it for the price of two quarters and sat on the quad a few days later, reading it and soaking in cold sunshine.

"...to paraphrase the Horse, Real is what happens when you become your true self - not a contrived, shiny, pretend thing - and are loved despite, maybe even because of, your imperfections."

This is the founding basis for the book the Velveteen Principles.

No matter what style or lifestyle you follow, whether you're a lolita or not, you've probably run into the concept of Real - or not being Real (the author's capitalization, not mine) and being an Object instead. You might have suppressed an opinion, felt inadequate, tried to look perfectly done up at all times, and tried to fit in with the crowd. You might have tried to meet society's expectations, your expectations, your parents' expectations. You've tried to be something else, something shiny and plastic. For every girl that has stressed over a wrong-twisting curl, a run in her stockings; has worried that her shoes don't match right; has feared that the other girls won't like her; has hidden what she really wants to say; has refrained from the kiss she really wanted to bestow, or the public scene she knew she should make.

Lolitas, who want to look like dolls: glassy, liquid eyes and perfect spiral curls. Girls who glue on eyelashes, put in contact lenses, paint on their lids; powder up their faces, lacquer their nails, stick on gems and wear wigs and draw in eyebrows. A doll is an interesting analogy, isn't it? A doll is another toy in the world of the Velveteen Rabbit. Dolls aren't real. Unless, of course, they are loved.

At first, I wondered if this meant being loved by someone else, like other girls, the Internet, a boy, like the Boy in the storybook. But recognition isn't going to make you Real. Think of all the 'celebrities' in magazines and tabloids - as they are shipped from rehab to runway and back again. We can't be Real by being loved by anyone else, except maybe yourself. But I think the answer to being Real isn't even self-love. Plenty of people love themselves, and are unhappy. I think you need to love someone else. Everyone else. Everything else. Try it. Fall in love with the skyline, with the tail of a squirrel flicking over an acorn, or with the glimmer in your best friend's eye. Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass tells us:

"You won't make yourself a bit realer by crying," Tweedledee remarked.

Of course, this is the opposite idea reflected by the author of the Velveteen Principles. She insists that empathy is the key to being Real. Crying is, after all, a show of emotion, instead of the lack of emotion shown by Objects. Real, the Velveteen Rabbit discovers, is when you love someone so much that you don't put up a front for them. You don't worry that you are 'only made of velveteen', or that your bangs are a askew, or if there is a glaring pimple on your chin. When you are Real, the story tells us, you can't be ugly, except to people who do not understand. Crying, a taboo to many cultures, both men and women, is something involuntary that your emotions require. We fight at keeping them back when it isn't 'acceptable'; we've all devised tricks to not cry until we are alone or with the right people. We smile when we want to scream; we are non-nonchalant when we want to weep. Why should we hide these feelings? How is something so natural supposedly so wrong? Wearing your heart on your sleeve. Perhaps crying is one of the most Real things it is possible to do.

I'll reference again the film Kamikaze Girls. Momoko, the main character, is alone in her world. She focuses on the beauty of things and escaping from a place she doesn't feel she belongs in. In this way, one could say that she Ichigo are alike, hiding from their real selves. Momoko spends her time being her idea of a perfect lolita lady; Ichigo puts effort into being her idea of a perfect Yanki. I think that each of them have turning points of being Real. When Ichigo breaks down and cries, she doesn't mind that Momoko is on the hillside with her. When Momoko decides to sacrifice her clothing (losing her headdress and her white dress getting splattered with blood) to instead stand up for her friend, she becomes Real. They are no longer simply about how they appear. They become deeper than that, from cardboard characters to real people. There's that word again: Real. The most poignant part of the movie is expressed in this song, "She Said" by Yoko Kanno. For a long time, I identified with it; I just never knew why.

Here's my idea about Real: It's not about getting the It Print or getting harassed on the Internet or doing it right or doing it wrong. It's not about wearing platforms or not wearing platforms or taking flattering photo or not taking flattering photos and putting hearts over the face instead. It's not even about how you look to other girls or other lolitas or who catcalls you when you walk around downtown. It's about you, yourself, if it gives you a sense of Realness to examine the roses on your dress, feel the brushed cotton in your fingers; if you feel Real when you gaze into the winter sky, or when you bounce onto your bed to giggle with you friends, all of you scrunching up petticoats and peeking bloomers.

The above photo is shown with a quote from Livejournal's morigirl community. A lolita wanted to get into moristyle, and wasn't sure about the rules - was she going to ruin it? It was such a bittersweet moment, to watch a lolita struggle without the guidance of structure. This response by raino was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I think it shouldn't just be for mori-kei. It shouldn't be a truth that lolita gives you the anxiety of being 'perfect', worried about rules. I think this quote... should be for anything you do in your life.

I quite recommend the Velveteen Principles, and hope I didn't give away so much that you won't read it in its entirety. It's a very little thing, small and 'naturally shy', like the Rabbit - but maybe it will make you too sit in the cold sunshine, and feel some semblance of Reality.

Labels: discussion, inspirational, lifestyle

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 4:57 PM 8 Comments