Lolita Charm: February 2010

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Petite Frames in Lolita

Nothing is more important, or more of a struggle for the collective lolita population (especially Westerners!) than dressing to fit. Lolita clothes, like many Japanese articles, come in one size, or at most three size (small, medium, and large). But lolita clothing, being tailored (such as blouses and dresses) also need to fit so as to flatter the wearer. An abundance of shapes exist among women and girls - everything from short to tall, low measurements to high measurements, the apple-shape, the pear-shape, the hourglass - I could go on forever. Magazines have spent years trying to name the various ways one can dress to body type, a lolita is no different.

This is a slightly different sort of article when it comes to dressing to body shape. There are many topics on the nature of tall lolitas, plus-size lolitas, hour-glass lolitas, and busty lolitas. That's why I've decided to write about what I know and have experienced in lolita - being petite. It's true that lolita is more geared to petite girls, since Japanese girls are typically smaller than most Westerners. But that doesn't mean that everything will fit perfectly or flatter girls who are overall smaller (size and height).

One of the biggest difficulties of being petite is blouses (which seem to be everybody's sticky area when it comes to fit). Blouses can be cut too wide at the waist or too large in the bust for smaller girls. If you're finding that your waist is lost inside a blouse, look for the kind with ribboned corseting or detachable ties. This will help to be able to cinch the waist smaller or larger as necessary.

Being too large in the bust is also a problem. If you find yourself with a blouse that is too large (a sad fact), you might be able to invest in a different bra. Look for bras that are padded or with added gel rather than thin, and avoid the sports bra or, needless to say, the minimizer (though these can be very useful if you're too large for a blouse.) If you find that you typically fit blouses but they leave you looking like a washboard, go for blouses with detailing along the top - ruffles, pintucks, bows, lace, jabots, or decorated collars. Layering cardigans over blouses (something I advocate for upcoming spring - bring on the cardigans!) is also a cute way to flatter a smaller frame.

Bodices: avoid the fully-shirred. I had a fully-shirred JSK when I first started and not only was it uncomfortably sucking in at my top, it wasn't flattering. The lack of structured tailoring only emphasized my small chest. A princess seam or ribbon detailing is more flattering - the former gliding over smaller sizes and the lattering adding delicate detailing.

The question of empire waists: should you or shouldn't you? Many girls find them to be unflattering regardless of size, especially with the requisite petticoat which can make an empire waist resemble a shape like a party hat. If there is any frame that can potentially wear the empire waist, I would venture to guess it is the petite frame; however, the closeness of the bust mixed with the fullness of the skirt could overwhelm a smaller lolita.

Length is also a factor in dressing as a petite lolita. Often the items made by Baby the Stars Shine Bright and Metamorphose are too long for me, ranging a couple inches below the knee rather than at. Angelic Pretty is making shorter skirts that may suit a petite girl better, but these might also tend to be wandering into above-the-knee territory (like many girls shopping for lolita, the 'happy medium' seems to be elusive here). You can either hunt specifically for shorter skirts more likely to be knee-length, or you can accept the length and play up the maiden-length style instead.

Which brings us to the question of legs, socks, and tights. If you're going to be wearing your skirts longer, I would suggest knee-high or possibly short socks for summer (usually the brands release a few ankle-high pairs for the season). Shorter skirts like the ones in vogue with Angelic Pretty match better with tights or over-the-knee socks, bridging that blank space of skin. I like over-the-knees especially for shorter girls, as it can add to the illusion of longer legs (rather than cutting off at the knee).

Shoes can go either way for petite lolitas - there's nothing wrong with a chunkier wedge heel (who wouldn't like to be a little taller?) or delicate flats like your typical tea parties or heart buckles.

All lolitas simply want to look their best in well-fitted clothes. Hopefully this article can help smaller lolitas coordinate and shop! Do you have any tips on dressing for the smaller lolita?

Links

pocket_loli, a community for petite lolitas

Not what you're looking for?

Dressing for Tall Lolitas

Dressing for Plus-Size Lolitas

photo is of Sae, a popular Japanese lolita who is extremely tiny (shown tinier by the camera angle) - see the length of her Sugary Carnival as compared to her sock design, a dress reputedly one of the first shorter styles? You can visit her blog here (in Japanese).

Labels: fashion, guide

Friday, February 26, 2010

Jeepers Creepers

I'm naturally very young looking. Starting when I was 18, I began almost aging in reverse - the older I get, the younger people will mistake me for (in mainstream clothes or alternate fashion like lolita, mori, or fairy-kei). And admittedly, I do tend to look at least five years younger than my actual age - people have even asked me what I am doing at my own college, or have questioned my driver's license. This week however, I was labeled as the youngest yet: eight years old. The older man behind me at my campus coffeehouse asked me many questions about my outfit (casual sweet style, with a t-shirt and Bodyline candies skirt) before saying with more than a little hint of letch in his voice: "Because you look, like... eight." Feeling offput, I said firmly, "I'm not eight." He grins at me and says, "I know."

This was only one of many experiences as a lolita where I've been harassed in an uncomfortable fashion by strange men. I've been called a prostitute. A friend has had a man at a gas station press a business card against her car window with his name and phone number on it. Any lolita I know has at some point been afraid for her safety due to the quintessential 'creeper'. Nor, unfortunately, is it limited to what I wear - as any woman knows, you can be made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe in anything from a mini-skirt to a balaclava. I am reminded of this quote recently floating around, which I reblogged on my tumblr (unable to paste into my composing platform, so please excuse the link).

As lolitas, we stand out. We draw attention. And the motifs we choose are youthful and childlike (though I hesitate to say like children, as most modern children prefer to resemble tiny teenagers or copies of Hannah Montana. You can say we are more of an idealism of childhood and its various historical eras than actually dressing to resemble them.) I have been told that dressing in childlike clothing will get me unwanted attention from men with a taste for such things. I have been told that lolitas who whine about attention from strangers simply shouldn't dress that way. And yes, when in public dressed as a lolita (or other unusual style), you will inevitably talk to more people you do not know about how you are dressed, or what their opinion is of that, good or bad.

However - and I strongly believe this - just because we dress differently doesn't mean we agree or deserve to be harassed, especially sexually harassed. This, in my mind, is akin to saying a girl dressing in revealing clothing is asking for it, even it is as subtle a declaration of, 'Well, what did she expect people would say?'. If we prefer not to be harassed, then we should stop dressing as to be harassed. As the quote above brings to light, and continues to mention in the corresponding article, we have placed the burden of safety on the would-be victims and females of our population, instead of reprimanding sexual harassers and educating men on what it is like to be a woman.

As lolitas we continually assert our right to dress however we like. As any lolita will tell you, we dress as we for ourselves. We dress for our own sense of beauty, not for anyone else's. If we choose to wear cakes as accessories or coffin-shaped purses; if we choose to wear fluffy skirts or giant pink bows. And we should be able to do that without expecting it to come at the price of our personal safety.

I know this is not exactly related to lolita as per my usual articles on Lolita Charm. As women who dare to go against society and stand out, however, we are braver and more at risk than most. I consider myself a feminist, meaning a world where women are equal to men - not only by their payroll or their opportunities, but by their simple wish to walk alone without fear. This is not only about being safe. This is about women standing up for their freedom.

You can help: relink to this article or quote.

(photo found on tumblr, credited to this post.)

Labels: culture, discussion

Monday, February 22, 2010

Misako Aoki Style Inspiration!

Due to her recent flutterings around the East Coast, I've fallen back in love with my original idol, Misako Aoki. I've been looking for any photograph I can get my hands on, from candids to brand shoots. Her style is very unique in today's modern lolita world of crazier and crazier sweet. Despite the push for bigger hair, shorter skirts, and racier lashes, she has remained fresh and adorably old-school. Want to get her look? Here are some trends of hers to take inspiration from:

photo from the Russian lolita community

Wear bonnets! This previously shyed-from accessory should definitely be the new main trend for spring. Whether short and frilly full-coverage cap-style bonnets to tall half bonnets, they make look decidedly less gal-inspired (where bows can wander) and definitively like a Victorian doll. It's cutest to have lightly curled hair casually flowing from the bonnet. Make sure you don't tuck all of your hair inside or behind the ribbon ties (short hair looks very nice with bonnets too, in my opinion!). Either aim for a simple one that will go with anything or collect them to match your prins. I'm also a big fan of adding roses to the inside of the brim.

Other hats are cute too! I'd love to see more full-size hats come back for this spring and summer. Straw hats ornamented with simple bows seem to be more Misako's taste (as seen at InnoSera '09) than ones laden with flowers and gems. Her look does tend to lean to the otome style in accessories, though it is still decidedly sweet lolita. In the photo above she's wearing a very cute pink felt.

Keep makeup light. Misako's makeup usually looks very natural and soft, with pastel pink lips simple false lashes. It's almost as if she's not wearing makeup at all. I don't think she wears circle lenses either. The light makeup is one of the things that keeps her look very wearable and comfortable. Since she most likely has to wear lolita 24/7 for her work as Kawaii Ambassador, I can see why she has both an extravagant style and a more otome casual look.

Don't be afraid to wear your real hair, or to go without spending all day with your curling iron! A lot of Misako's outfits aren't worn with falls or wigs like other lolita models - often it's her own hair. Like in the hat photo above, she sometimes wears it mostly straight with a slight curl at the ends, or just in ordinary pigtails. In the above photo at San Francisco's opening, it's just straight and down - easy and comfortable, no huge falls or heat damage necessary.

Wear longer skirts. I know Angelic Pretty is pushing shorter, flirtier lolita skirts to be in vogue (my Starry Night Theatre is above the knee even on little old me!) but Misako usually has skirts that are slightly below the knee. While this might be due to her stature, it gives her dress a more mature look, despite the fact that she still wears sweet lolita and some of Baby's more childish prints. If you're having trouble finding skirts that trend longer, try looking for more 'vintage' lolita (circa 2006 and later) on auctions.

Pick softer pinks. Nothing in the sweet lolita bible declares that bubblegum or neon are the only acceptable shades (though two of my favorites, I must admit). At the Tokyo Fashion Festa, Misako wore on of Baby's eyelet heart blouses in a very pretty soft rose, with glittery pink wedge Mary Janes to match.

Simple nails are cuter. Leave your super-sparkly rhinestone-pierced nails at home and wear only simple pastel polish, or at the most, short falsies. This has the added bonus of being able to actual do things with your hands - like work your iPod and camera. Misako also likes to do the nails different colors for a little pop, as shown in the photo above. If you want to add more interest to your hands, a few small rings will do the trick.

Cardigans and sweaters! It sounds like it would be a common, practical thing to have in lolita, but cardigans aren't too often seen. I only recently started buying lolita cardigans myself. They're good for a spring chill or summer evening, and can add a different color to a dress. Making sure the collar of your blouse sits on top of the cardigan can make it look very schoolgirlish and sweet.

I love Misako's example of sweet lolita, hovering in between casual, mori, and old-school sweet. She's not afraid to mix brands, dress comfortably, or loosely style only her natural hair. I think it's just the right look to wear for this upcoming spring ;)

Want to see more of Misako's style? Go to her blog here!

photos not directly credited are of unknown credit.

Labels: fashion, guide, idol study

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Tokyo Fashion Festa

Anyone who's anyone in the New York City lolita or j-fashion scene just had to be at the Tokyo Fashion Festa last night - what my friends and I had taken to calling 'Lolita Fashion Week', as the real Fashion Week was just ending prior. Angelic Pretty made their first appearance on the NYC fashion scene, along with Baby the Stars Shine Bright, Alice and the Pirates, H. Naoto, Black Peace Now, and other brands. Besides lolita and gothic styles, I was pleased to see a mori/lolita hybrid type brand on the runway as well - called Mielette Tautou and composed of antique creams and Dutch-braided bangs.

Misako Aoki, ambassador of just plain adorable was there as a guest model and speaker, posing for pictures. Having seen so much of her lately in photos, she's become my recent style icon - and her signature love of bonnets!

Baby showed off a few newer pieces but also fell back on their Alice and the Pirates' much-loved Vampire Requiem, to great display with a violet underskirt. And somebody told Angelic Pretty about Easter - a holiday devoted to luridly colored baby animals, bunnies, and candy. You can see where this is going. One girl had an Easter-basket headdress if that's any indication.

There was also a selection of gyaru outfits from Madame Killer, some disaffected models in yukatas that said 'spank me/love me' (not exactly my taste I must admit), and to round out the evening, a set of adorable miniature gyaru of around four years old, ushered around the stage by pied-piper Misako.

Afterwards any lolita in sight was mobbed by both American and Japanese media. A huge group of us got stuck in a twenty-minute group shot before we threatened to break! It was great seeing so many girls and styles all in one place - and so many friends, too :)

So here are my favorite parts of the show - enjoy!

photo taken by me of the lovely Sandra decked out in Baby the Stars Shine Bright!

Labels: charm channel, event

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Sweet, Sweet, Sweet! The Guide to Over-the-Top Sweet Lolita

Recently someone asked after a guide for the modern over-the-top sweet lolita, and I decided to give it a whirl. These are my checkpoints for creating today's interpretation of over-the-top sweet lolita.

First, I want to say a little something about brands, namely the usual sibling rivalry of Baby the Stars Shine Bright and Angelic Pretty. When it comes to over-the-top (henceforth OTT), Angelic Pretty just does it better, in my opinion. They are in it to win it with lots of bows, oodles of lace, bright colors, and lots of crazy accessories like giant bonnets and deer-shaped bags. I am sure that with the right items and some know-how, Baby could create a fabulous OTT sweet coordinate. I also think that offbrands or Chinese replicas can create the same effect. There's nothing in the 'rule book' that says you must forfeit your life and bank account to Angelic Pretty. Some of us just choose to do so.

Moving on!

The other thing I would like to add is that this is merely one interpretation of sweet lolita. Like a poem or painting, you can interpret the same ideas quite differently. Again, look at the differences in design between Baby and Angelic Pretty. It's like the old joke about men finding an elephant in the dark - one gets the tail, the other the foot, the other the trunk, and one the ear. They all describe the same item differently, and think all the others are wrong, until the sun rises and they realize they're all right - to some extent. So when it comes down to the debate of 'your lolita is ruining my lolita' or even 'your sweet lolita is ruining my sweet lolita' - consider the elephant in the dark. It will be interesting when the sun rises, don't you think?

So, without further ado, here is the basic set-up for OTT sweet lolita.

From the inside out: you will need to wear petticoats. Notice this is plural. It doesn't matter if these are brand of offbrand (I own both and they are around the same poofing ability, save your money and buy a bunch!). One petticoat will die and flatten. A crowd of petticoats can die all they like, but the sheer volume of them should support the shape of the ultimate cupcake silhouette. Having worked and modeled for Baby the Stars Shine Bright in ridiculously OTT show pieces, this is how it's done. I recommend at least two. Three is average, four is extra. If you look at the instruction from this GLB deco article (seen at top of this post), you can see that they recommend extra petticoats. Since you'll be getting a couple, there's nothing stopping your from deviating from the usual white - go for red, pink, purple, anything!

The other thing I really recommend is the legendary Turbo-Poof. It has never been defeated in battle, and in the words of Mr. Miyagi, 'no can defense'. I have worn it under three or four layers of heavy garments, all day, on subways and long car rides, and it still have the amazing shape it was endowed with. Quite high praise for a $19 Hot Topic petticoat.

When it comes to your usual 'basics' like socks and blouses, the older sweet style recommended solid white, especially for beginners. After all, white goes with everything, right? But it's not really the thing for OTT sweet lolita. It blends into the background too much. The idea with OTT is that it goes over-the-top - everything wants to be a statement piece, and has something to say - amounting to a chorus or a screaming match, depending on your opinion of OTT. Personally I like to think of it as a symphony. So instead of always going for the white blouse and white socks, think colors. Think patterns and details. A lilac blouse adds a lot of pop to a pink dress you'd otherwise just pair with white. Details like rhinestones or pearls sewed to the collar, or a lacy jabot, make the blouse stand out as well. If it was too plain, it would look out of place and unfinished - so for this look, every item has its time in the sun. The same goes for socks. I love patterned socks, especially from Angelic Pretty as the motifs are just adorable. A pair of socks with a spray of stars work much better than just a solid color with a trim of lace or a tiny school logo.

Accessories are what really make the difference between sweet and OTT sweet. They don't have to be all the same brand, brand at all, or match the print or series you're wearing. As shown in this photo, she's wearing the Milky-chan bag with Royal Poodle - nobody's going to shoot her because she's carrying a different animal bag (right, guys?! I hope!) Another note is that you do not have to wear an entire series (bag, socks, hairbow, dress) to achieve the OTT look. In fact, I find it more interesting to avoid wearing all one series, but to each their own.

So, what kind of accessories are we talking and where to get them? Almost anywhere! Collecting is a huge part of this. You won't have the perfect pool of accessories to pull off OTT sweet overnight. Look through Claire's, tiny boutiques in the city (like my favorite Stone Flower), Betsey Johnson, Tarina Tarantino, Forever 21, etsy, and Singapore's Fancy Pocket. Order from Chocomint and try not cringe when you drop over $100. I know that it's tempting to go light and skimp on accessories but trust me, don't go light in this area! And don't just concentrate on one area, like hairbows. Rings, bracelets, clips, brooches, all of it. And don't be afraid to DIY in the accessories arena. The famous carousel or carnival hats came about because girls wanted to fill a need that wasn't being designed, so they did it themselves. Or use bows from other dresses, use pearl straps from other cutsews. Get creative about where your accessories come from and what goes where.

Bags are the same. Go for replicas if you're okay with thatwhen it comes to crazy bags, like candy-shaped ones. (Word of warning: own at least one real, non-replica brand bag if you're the type to attend formal or official lolita events. You just can't go see Misako Aoki or a brand designer while carrying a Chinese rip-off.) If you prefer not to buy replicas, get the real thing or if you still want to be able to use this bag elsewhere, go a touch more conventional. Bebe is selling beautifully large, quilted heart-shaped bags right now that would be perfect for OTT sweet or a casual outfit. Another great place to check for OTT-worthy sweet bags that also go conventional is this gyaru Rakuten site.

photo of the quilted heart purse from Bebe's Soho shop in New York City.

And don't forget to accessorize your bags! Use pearl necklaces, cellphone straps, keychains... I have a brown and swarovski-crystalled bear cellphone strap dangling off my Candee's bag, which really peps it up.

Hair in OTT sweet lolita is BIG. I mean it now. Big. For most girls, this means wigs. One wig will suffice, but it's much better to invest in clip-in ponytail extensions that match, added wefts, or even sewing two wigs together to make one very full wig. Unnatural colors are perfectly acceptable, such as aqua, lavender, white, and pink being the most common. (Note that if you want pink hair for only OTT sweet, it's not worth the extra effort and upkeep. I have pink hair and still wear a pink wig for my sweeter outfits!) Natural colors used are most often shades of blonde or auburn, but any color you like is fine. It's also useful to be able to swap out wigs to match your outfits. If you don't like wigs, you may use your own hair, but that's not as easy. You will need to tease, spray, mousse, curl, straighten, and hot roll your hair. Invest in heat protectant spray and deep condition once a week. A lot of street snaps show OTT sweet lolitas with absolutely fried hair. Don't let this happen to you! You can avoid some damage by using rats. They're similar to the Bumpits, but are usually made out of fake hair. I'm going to be trying to make my own pink rat for my hair, and if it works out I will make a tutorial that should save you some time, heartache and frustration when it comes to achieving huge natural hair.

I also recommend getting bangs cut, whether sideswept or straight across. There are many adorable styles of hair that don't use bangs, from gothic and classic to sweet lolita. But for OTT sweet, bangs are useful - you can add stickers to them or spray-on designs. They're also the base for your larger hair accessories. Go to your stylist if you're not sure what kind of bangs will suit you. And if you really don't want bangs, consider clip-ins.

Now that we're talking hair, let's talk hair accessories. You have huge hair primarily for the same reason the Rococo ladies did - so that they could stick more stuff in it. The basic formula for decorating your huge hair is to start with a centerpiece, such a bow, bonnet, beret, or more rarely, the traditional headdress. Then start adding medium-sized items around it. This can be candy-shaped brooches, rose hair clips, or if you want to go more towards the deco spectrum, tiny stuffed animals. Bonnets have the very elegant option of going floral and tucking roses under the brim. Then use smaller accessories like clips or decorated bobbypins to finish off. As shown above, the model is rather a radiated cluster affect, with larger things supporting the bow and smaller ones spread out further from the epicenter. It should always be graduated out, not just a clump of stuff stuck in one spot on the head. It's a little like a floral arrangment.

Makeup is also very important to this look. This has the most done makeup of any lolita style, sometimes stopping just short of turning into gyaru makeup. You will need to understand using eyeliner, using white liner on your water line (or as close to it as possible), false eyelashes (upper and lower), how to apply dolly-style blush, and extras such as eye-accenting gems. Lipgloss is usually glittery and sheer, in a pastel color.

Lashes give that added pump that OTT sweet requires. Usually only one set is worn on the top, but you can be daring and add two if you're feeling brave. Or use one set of natural lashes and one set 'decorated' - such as these lashes, which come with star twinkles on them. Rhinestones are also popular choices. Remember to trim them if they're too long - they'll stay on easier and be more comfortable.

This is my basic method of applying Angelic Pretty model-type blush. To apply the 'dolly-style' blush, you'll need a blush palette of three tones. Mine is just basic Covergirl. The pearly pink color hilights the brow bone and softens the edge between blush and natural skin. I swipe a crescent on temple around the outer edges of the eye, then use the middle rose-tone blush to build up a glowy base a little high on the apple of the cheek. The super-dark blush is lightly patted into the center, without too much of a sweeping motion. It should be very pronounced and not overly natural - it's supposed to look like a toy's, maybe taking it's inspiration from the very round blush on harlequin and columbine dancers' cheeks.

The last thing I'll mention in the makeup category is circle lenses. They are not for everyone, and please check with your eye doctor before buying anything that is going to sit on your very sensitive corneas. If you are cleared to wear them and buy reputable ones though, they can be just what the makeup needs to be finished.

And that's it! The difference between sweet and OTT sweet is mostly in hair, makeup and accessories, not the clothes - which is why we don't usually differentiate the substyle any further (and if anyone asks about bittersweet over-the-top sweet lolita, I'll scream - because that's a sub-sub-sub category and that is verging on ridiculous!)

So do you feel prepared to take on this style? I consider it to be the most challenging and involved. But if you use this guide, you'll at least have a map. Enjoy getting dolled!

Labels: fashion, guide

Monday, February 15, 2010

How to Stop Waiting on Prince Charming

We're girls in frilly dresses. I'd bet my bottom dollar that most of my readers own at least one tiara, and actually consider it a real fashion accessory. Probably half of them can claim allegience to the Disney Princesses as a miniature pantheon. And between himegyaru, hime-lolita, and crown-shaped rings, I think it's easy to say that the princess complex is pretty common among lolitas (I won't rehash that!). But it also seems we've inherited a similar fatal flaw - the Prince Charming complex.

74% of statistics are made up on the spot, so I won't venture to guess how many girls find themselves on the look out for Prince Charming, Mr. Right, Brad Pitt, whoever. But if the secrets are any indication, plenty of girls are dying for this mystery man with great hair, a big bank account, and killer fashion sense. Or maybe you simply want a realistic relationship, complete with date nights at Taco Bell, movies on the sofa, and kisses on the cheek. Or maybe you're looking for a Princess. Either way, it seems like everybody is waiting for their balcony scene, somebody we're especially reminded of around Valentine's Day.

I'm not going to tout out the power suits and the tired line of 'Singles' Awareness Day', or decry boyfriends or girlfriends or relationships. If you've met your true love (as my college professor refers to her long-loved signifigant other) then I'm very happy for you. But this is for all those girls who spent Valentine's Day rewatching romantic comedies and wondering where all the good men have gone.

I've been single for quite some time now, often inciting my friends to wonder why or even what's wrong with a single girl such as myself. The answer? There is nothing wrong with being single. In fact, I think everyone should spent a signifigant period of life single. If you're a repeat serial dater, you'll never get to really date the person who's most important: yourself.

So without further ado, this is my recipe for being fabulous, single, and not waiting for anything.

Being single doesn't make you a shut-in. I know that many women are afraid to go to things alone without a man or a gaggle of girlfriends. Have you ever scrambled for someone to see a movie with? Have you ever bypassed your favorite restaurant because going in alone would be awkward? This might especially be true if you're in lolita and feeling self-conscious. But here's the big secret to being alone and out on adventures - you call all the decisions. Want to spend two hours watching the swans swim? Or perhaps you'd like to order endless bowls of soup instead of a meal? You can. Be your own tourguide and sight-seeing captain. You make your own schedule, and nobody has to man-stand anywhere. If you want to know more about traveling alone and spending time alone, I really recommend the book Succulent Wild Women by SARK. This book is an artsy, handwritten collection of anecdotes and watercolors, where she discusses having adventures and getting over the fear of being alone. She spent many years traveling to islands by way of couch-surfing or doing odd jobs, and experienced many dinners without the company of a signifigant other.

Cultivate fabulous friendships. There is a lot to be said for a good friendship, whether with boys or girls. Ask them to go on dates with you - a date meaning any set time to interact one-on-one, shopping in unusual districts or visiting all of the kittens are your local pet shop. And don't limit yourself to few friends, or friends that only seem like the usual type of people you like to know. Make friends in different cities, or at work, or with your hula dancing class, or be penfriends with someone from the other side of the world. Being 'alone' doesn't mean being lonely. In fact, some of the most fufilling relationships in life are the ones that aren't romantic at all.

Live glamorously. Whatever that means for you! Build yourself the kind of lifestyle you would envy in another person. Attend fashion shows. Get your dog fabulous clips. Know your way around any item on an Ethiopian menu. Take roadtrips with boxes of Mike-and-Ikes in the glove compartments. Not, like a girl throwing herself into work or fake smiles, to distract yourself from the fact you don't have a romance in your life, but because you honestly want to. You want to be your idea of a perfect life, you want to be your idea of the best you, you can be.

It's not that I've stopped looking for Prince Charming, who I keep hoping is on the next train or at the next Starbucks. It's simply that I've stopped putting my life on hold for him. Because when I do finally meet this person, I don't want to be asleep like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. I want to be the kind of person... who's wide awake.

What do you think? Are you waiting for Prince Charming? Are you tired of going to look for him? Or after many frogs, are you realizing that the royalty you've been looking for is yourself?

Being single and fabulous, in my opinion, is the prerequisite to being partnered and fabulous. Here are more links to love:

How to Find True Love

The Secret to Loving Yourself

100 Ways to Start Loving Yourself Right Now

art by Liliothe of Deviantart.

oh! and I'd like to thank my secret admirers for this week's valentines and secret! I hope we'll continue our love affair yet ;)

Labels: culture, discussion

Friday, February 12, 2010

My Castle: The Bureau

Since I've been talking about decorating so much lately, I thought I'd show you a few snapshots from my room. These are details of my bureau and large mirror, where all of my hair-styling, accessorizing, and make-upping goes on.

I use a teacup and matching platter to hold some of my prettier pieces to display - like my favorite strawberry bracelet and miniature tiaras. Look for unusual dishes or trays to hold your rings, bracelets, and earrings. The merman dish below is actually for soap. I found this for $2.50 at my local thrift shop - it even says 'Made in Italy' on the bottom! He's the designated keeper of my pink pearls ♥

And this is the corner of my mirror, which I've draped with some pearl necklaces (this gold and tea colored one from Forever 21). Clipped to it are some of my favorite bows, and my favorite hairpiece, my 6% doki doki mini hat. I also keep notes from friends on cute stationary - these are from Kandy and Michelle :) The lollipops stuck the mirror are actually window clings. Mine are from Mother Garden, but there are usually plenty of heart ones available for Valentine's Day.

Here's a few other ways you can dress up a bureau, small table, or vanity:

Display your favorite wig on a wig head, perhaps with your best hair accessory. I love seeing the big pink curls on my bureau, and it keeps all of the hair in good condition.
Tack up photos or sentimental notes to a mirror or ribbon-board, whether these be of friends or photos you loved in magazines.
Put down a piece of lacy fabric or an embroidered table runner for a spot of color. Look in estate sales or flea markets for something vintage.
Tack colored fairy lights or floral vines above the mirror or bureau; or just drape swags of pretty tulle.
Dried, real, or faux flowers in a vase can be interspersed with decorative pens or makeup brushes. I somehow amassed a collection of princess scepters that are mixed in with my rose.
Got a lot of nail polish bottles? Arrange them in a holder or a row in rainbow order. I keep all my different shades of pink visible.

If you've seen some of these photos before, it's because I've just been bitten by the tumblr bug. You can follow me here. Be warned that the main themes are pink, poodles, and shoes I wish I owned ;)

Labels: lolita living

Monday, February 8, 2010

It's Your Castle's... Closet!

So now that you've cleaned out your closet, what to do with it? Do you frequently come up with only one sock? Are you unsure of how many purses you have? Is your closet door stuck from opening? If you've answered yes to any of these questions, it's time to reorganize you closet.

Step One: Look at your closet's structure. Do you have a wardrobe, a closet with double doors, sliding doors, accordion doors, or just one door? Is it a walk-in closet, or is it shallow? Are your shelves fixed, or can you rearrange them? My closet has two sliding doors, which presents the problem of only being able to access half of the closet at a time. With a little Ms. Fix-it Know-How and a screwdriver, it'll be easy to take them off the tracks, opening up the wardrobe. Then curtains can be added instead.

Step Two: What exactly is IN there? Is it lolita clothes, regular clothes, old house coats? Is your cat sleeping in the rubble of heels, or were you an avid collector of board games in your childhood? Anything you're not using, put in storage, throw out, or donate. Then it's time to decide - is your wardrobe lolita only, or do you keep your jeans or school uniform there too? For me, it's lolita only - casual things can go in the bureau.

Step Three: Prime real estate. Where is the best 'real estate' in your closet? Front and center? Where the dresses live? Do you want a special section for the petticoats to breathe in? Designate sections to categories of clothes or accessories. This shelf is for purses; this for shoes. Then it's a one-stop shopping for getting dressed, just like on Poupee Girl.

Step Four: Order and Display. I like to put my items in category first (blouses, for example) and then color order (rainbow order for me! My books are in rainbow order too.) But so long as your items are in some kind of system, it can be anything you want. The other thing is to display your better items, like in the picture about. Purses displayed facing front or on an angle can show off their pretty faces; making a giant candy-shaped stand for headbows is both practical and adorable.

Step Five: Decorating! This is the best part. Here's a few ideas to spruce up your closet:

frame the door with Christmas lights or rose garlands;
paint the doors or inside a bright color that pops from your current color scheme;
add a cupcake stand for displaying mini-hats or other large accessories;
roll socks with the displays facing out so that they fill a decorative box, then prop up like a shadow box;
if you have room, add a wall decal to the inside or door, like a chandelier or trailing flowers
the perfect place to display your collection of brand bags - taped to the inside of your closet walls, as a brandwhore shrine;
edge the shelves with homemade ruffles, ribbons, or lace;
add a pretty mirror to the inside of the door
if it's a walk-in closet, try a standing mirror - I found one at a thrift store for $15!

I hope this has helped you prettify your closet like the one above :) It's much more fun to dress when you feel like a movie star in a dressing room! And when you can find both your socks...

Labels: lolita living

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

February Style Tips

Celebrating one year's worth of style tips!

Buy a miniature rose from your grocery store to brighten up your home. They're my favorite - delicate and beautifully fragrant, and popular around Valentine's Day.
Go to your local drug store and buy a sampling of different Valentine's Day chocolates. Eat luxuriously.
Don't have a beloved this February? Plan a girls' day out for Valentine's weekend, complete with manicure and desserts.
Alternately, give yourself a French manicure at home (a favorite from last February's style tips!). Essie makes an extensive set of delicate pinks and whites just for that reason. Read more about Essie and French manicures at Polish Addict. My favorite colors are Sheer Magic (a pearly white) and Love Letters (a translucent ballet pink).
Invest in full or demi lower lashes. I've started wearing them with my glasses, and they accent your eyes without being lost in your frames. They're also easier to wear, as you're not blinking your lower lashes as repeatedly. I like Dolly Wink, which you can buy here. Or, you can trim and modify a set of upper lashes to fit your lowers.
If you have bangs, get some spray-on temporary hair color (like at Halloween) and use a stencil to spray a heart onto your hair. You can do the same to a wig if you don't have bangs.
Read a romantic novel that takes an unusual turn - like Pride & Prejudice and Zombies, or Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. Or just read the cheesiest romance novel you can get your hands on. This means it must have pirates with split-open silk shirts.
Tame frizz and heat-burnt ends with satin hair oil. I like got2b's Smooth Operator Smoothing Satin Drops - and the packaging is downright adorable.
Nose around an antique or thrift shop to find vintage Valentines, either to give away or decorate your house with.
Be your own Valentine.

Labels: style tips

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