Meetups: Dos and Don'ts

I recently attended my first state-wide meetup with people I had not previously met, and as a fresh-faced 'outsider' one might say, I have been thinking about the structure and coordination of a meetup. A great post on how to organize a meetup can be found here on egl - so this is more of a refining guide.

A meetup is somewhat of a cross between a party and the first day of school, especially if you don't know the other people. Once you have attended several, you'll probably start to know who's who, with the exception of the occasional newcomer, guest, or out-of-stater. So!

• Please make sure the location is accessible to everyone. Planning a meetup on the other side of the state when half of your population is from the other side isn't workable and it's rather rude. Try to find something central to everyone, and encourage carpooling.
• Try to have smaller activities within the meetup if possible. It focuses the group itinerary, so you're not looking at each other for four hours - and it forces people to interact. A lot of people, especially if they're new or younger, can be shy - so icebreaker or get-to-know you games with a Lolita twist are fun. Consider them real-life memes :P
• When taking photos, a staple of any meetup, please try to make everyone look their best. Consider lighting and angle, especially as some people can't really know how they look on camera. On the same note, don't post bad or embarrassing photos of other people. If you wouldn't like it of you, they probably won't like it of them. On the same note, don't just take goofy photos - some nice ones of the outfits everyone worked hard on will be appreciated.
  
• Along with this, however - dress your best and appropriately for season and occasion. This doesn't require tons of brand, but your clothes should be in good condition (no socks with holes), nicely coordinated (if you're unsure, ask a friend), and clean (no wrinkles). In public, you're representing Lolita to others, and representing yourself to other Lolitas. Nobody can appreciate your clothes more than another Lolita, too! If there is a theme or dress code, follow it to the best of your ability.
  
• If you're the hostess/organizer, then make sure everyone seems involved and having a good time, even to the point of taking shy or new people under your wing. Conversely, as a guest, try to speak to everyone and get to know other people. On this note, all the usual things a hostess does - which revolve around making everyone feel at ease in a group environment - should go on.
• Use a single, well-organized post with all necessary details - location, time, money necessary. Multiple posts are sloppy and hard to understand.
• Try to ensure the safety of other Lolitas, especially younger members or anyone who looks like they need help. As the hostess, it is your responsibility to make sure people have a good time - and being left alone in a bad neighborhood is not a good time. Make sure people meet their rides if there is a question of it, and/or follow up to make sure they got home safely. Especially with younger Lolitas who may still be living at home, make sure parents are in the loop and understand what their child is doing and where they will be.
  
• Along with this, make sure everyone has adequate contact numbers, and give accurate directions. As said, carpooling or following other cars is a great asset.
  

Labels: event, guide

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 11:29 AM 4 Comments

Dancing Bears

A quick and dirty review of Gothic & Lolita Bible Volume 30 [Japanese edition]. The theme for this edition was opera and classical music, but broadened to include circus themes, ballet, etc. The circus theme was particularly enunciated in the stickers, taken directly from Innocent World's new Circus pattern. It's a Victorianesque collection of bears on unicycles, heart-shaped balloons, and scrabbly-maned tigers, all on a cream background. I personally find it quite adorable - and promptly covered my cell phone with the stickers.

Things That Were Wonderful

-A huge array of brand clothes to peruse, a lot of which I had never heard of. Not only the usual brands, like Angelic Pretty or Baby - but also a lot of smaller, indie brands, like Deorart, Despair, and Vampire Doll.

-Some gorgeous photoshoots. Atelier Pierrot did a beautiful four-page spread of girls with very long hair and low-saturation [near black and white photographs]. They've also included a section on the Harry Potter movie set, and various other 'Britishy' locales. There is even a very pretty Japanese Harry Potter in kodona, complete with plushie Hedwig.

-The manga was especially good. I can't actually read my manga, as my Japanese stops short at kanji, but the general premise seems to be personifying a piano as a young girl in black-and-white stripes. (The issue has a lot of darker colors in it, even for sweeter styles. Less candy-heart-attack, and more dusty pinks or pink with black. Even Baby's models, despite looking exceptionally sweet, wear black as their base color.)

-Plaids seem to be in for this winter/autumn. A lot of different colors of plaid. Not only has Meta put out that greenish-purpleish plaid, but also Angelic Pretty, Putumayo, Black Peace Now, and MAM Maximacam have come out with plaids.

Things That Were Not So Wonderful

-Again, patterns weren't that fabulous. The Black Peace Now skirt is rather cute, with a plain layer under two layers of shingle-like ruffles. But the Marble halter is... unusual, and everyone can make Innocent World hairbows or a circular Baby headdress. Other items were strands of pearls, black and white; snap-purse Victorian bag, which is something they feature regularly; and VM-style floral haircombs (which don't really require directions. Glue stuff to comb. Stick in hair. The end).

-The shot for the Angelic Pretty page is... odd. The model has on a pink wig somehow eschew that makes her look bald and somewhat skeletal. I'm not sure if it's a white model or an Asian model, but either way, she is not their typical poofy-haired fare.

-I was hoping for coats and winter items like boots and muffs, and there were none. I can only assume they're for the next issue, then. I find it odd that although some brands have already put out coats on reserve for ages, others have not. And neither are putting out adequate press for their coat lines. It's practically like you have to be in the know to know when coats go on sale. Since it's such a high-ticket item that a lot of people need, you'd think they would publicize it more.

Final report: Good enough just for the artful photo shoots. If you're a huge fan of crazy photoshoots with obscure brands, then you'll like it well enough. If you're looking for something deeply informative, however - personally I wouldn't say it's your buy. Then again, it's not like I buy it for the articles... ;)

Labels: review

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 10:10 PM 1 Comments

Gothic & Lolita, In My Bookstore?

It's more likely than you think. Ever since the release of Tokyopop's English-language Gothic & Lolita Bible, you can skip on over to a Borders and pick up a copy full of frilly goodies.

And today I did just that! I've already been pleased [mostly] with the previous two. But there were some things I would like to quibble with, not only with this issue but with the magazine in general. Without further ado:

Things That Were Fabulous

-The Bible put a spin on Halloween for their autumn edition. This is particularly awesome because Japan doesn't do Halloween, and it's long been a source of questions and controversy for American Lolitas. Costumes? Lolita? Yes or no? Does it give people a bad idea about the true nature of Lolita? The Bible provides four different Halloween spins on Lolita costumes, including Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, a witch, and a pirate. I especially loved the witch outfit - which relies on a simple black and white jumperskirt/blouse combo with a hot splash of a curled purple wig.
Also included for Halloween are treats to make, a creepily beautiful occult story, and some of the beautiful photoshoots of Briony and Layla.

-The makeup and hair portion not only showed you how to do your real hair, but had excellent wig advice. I think more Americans shy away from wigs, but this should not be so! They can look very fabulous and polished.

-Needs More Lace - a one-page comic by Lilly Higgs, who you may recognize from Confessions of an American Lolita. Hopefully this becomes a recurring article, it was great!

Things Not So Wonderful

-It wasn't as much to my taste - it seems it had a slightly more Gothic slant. That's fine, especially since the last one was so sweet. The purple and skull cover is evident of this. This wasn't a huge factor for me.

-There are only so many interviews with Jrock bands I can read. They're mildly interesting but I'd rather see interviews with more designers, or more how-tos, or more makeup, or even more stories and fan content.

-On the other hand, some of the fan content is a bit much. There are definitely a recurring cast of characters in the photos and articles. A few people have been featured in all three volumes so far! I'd like to see Lolitas from other areas and disciplines.

-The patterns weren't too great. They are mostly goth and punk patterns, and most of them are hard in my opinion! The georgette blouse is beautiful, but I can hardly see myself stumbling through it - or wearing the bat-winged miniature top hat. I do like the Angelic Pretty velvet rose however.

So, all in all, I'd recommend it. it's not their best issue in my opinion, but still worth a read and has some great content.

Labels: review

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 6:49 PM 1 Comments

How Old Are You, Lolita-chan?

Alternatively titled: How Young is Too Young; Blogging from the Cradle Up; Butthurt: Not Part of Raising Your Child; and As If Being 13 Wasn't Enough.

I've been toying with this article idea for some time and having thumbed into an article of my local newspaper this morning, was finally motivated to write it. The article was about 'young fashion blog[girls]' and specifically detailed the miniature tragic adventure of a 12-year-old fashionista in her corner of the playground of cyberspace. To sum up, the girl enjoyed posting photos of herself in tag-sale pumps and saran-wrap stoles spray painted silver, all while posing in 'sets' she had designed with old newspaper. To quote, 'posts photos of herself wielding a toilet plunger, posing a room covered with newsprint and wearing a paint-splattered tutu inspired by Dolce & Gabbana's spring 2008 collection'.

The article continues on to say she had received a lot of negative press (the above, in my opinion, is indicative) and spent a week or so crying in the night in her parents' bed. As we on the Interwebz say, butthurt!

The whole thing smacks entirely of Lolita international culture. So I thought I would combine them into one topic, as my point for both is the same.

A lot of Lolitas seem to be younger these days, or so it seems to me (am I getting old, maybe?) There has been a small population boom - or at least, I know there to be a lot more than when I first started at seventeen - in the areas of 13 to 15-year-old Lolitas. They're wondering about not only high school but junior high, while plenty of their compatriots are in college or already graduated. Some of these girls could be the parents of another! Talk about a wide demographic! There is a big stretch between the thirteen-year-old Lolita, who probably still has and maybe fits into the dresses of her childhood - and the twenty-five-year-old Lolita, with a full-time job and a closet stuffed with nostalgia-laden brand.

Is this such a bad thing? There are oodles of good points to Lolita, and plenty of good morals attached to it. Modesty, an appreciation of beauty, aren't these all things young girls growing up should live by? Certainly. But Lolita is more than that, unfortunately. Lolita has its cattiness, its rigidity, its social structure and hierarchy and guidelines. It has a materialistic slant, and half of the game is won by having the money on hand to furnish such an extravagant hobby. It has a fairly definite color palette, and a long collection of do's and don'ts.

The key to remember about these young Lolitas is that they are young. Self-explanatory? Think back to yourself at age thirteen or twelve. You really were barely more than a kid, still learning and exploring and developing. Possibly playing with multiple personas as well, from tough to cheerleader, sometimes switching more often than changing your socks. And above all, you were probably extremely impressionable. Let's admit it: you could easily end up copying your best friend's style down to the letter. I'm still impressed to find old notes written from my best friend and I and see that they are the exact same style and handwriting.

This isn't the time to be worrying if you fit into the rules of Lolita. Avoiding, say, polka dots because they're 'too spank' or wearing oodles of pink because it's 'in season'. Experimentation is what should be going on here, the finger painting of the fashion world. You can work on the masterpieces later.

On a similar note is the fact of the Internet. Take all of the above about Lolita into consideration and then add to it a hefty helping of considerably older, more experienced and sometimes anger-management-worthy Lolitas. And they're all interested in what You Are Wearing. As elementary school wasn't bad enough in that area. The Internet Lolita community is not a place for twelve and thirteen-year-old Lolitas. The older Lolitas are not functioning as their parents, and they are not there to indulge them in compliments. This is unfortunately the real world, where not everyone will like you. And to many sheltered kids, this can be a shock. Our previously reported little blogger spent several nights crying in her parents' bed after a few critiques of her blog. One woman even accused her of not being twelve, which I assume means she thought it was an adult being stupid for laughs.

I believe, in the case of the blogger, it comes down to her parents. At that age, they are still kids. Her father confessed that not only had he never looked at her blog, he wasn't even quite sure what a blog was. [This quickly led to the slippery slope of 'bad Internet, bad parents!' but we'll skip that portion for now]. The problem is that these parents should be watching what their kids are ingesting and absorbing, whether that is catty girls' remarks or ropes of pearls. Because all of these things impress into an adolescence and then into a person. And as said, the other Lolitas or other Internet denizens are not there to babysit and play 'It Takes a Village'. They may not be helpful or even remotely nice, and they sure as hell are a bunch of strangers. Who you have essentially left in a virtual room somewhere with your child. To clarify: we're not villains, but we're also not nannies. Supervise your child in public forums.

And Lolita is the same. I won't touch on the notion of, why does your child want to recapture her childhood when she is still in it, psychobabble, Freud blah blah, because that, my dears, is a whole other article, but - it is something to think about. Why does your child seek Lolita? Sure, it is cute to see little Lolitas. But is it emotionally healthy? Can they keep up with what is a rough pack? And is trying, succeeding, or failing to do so good for their emotional development?

It's a hard, cold world for Lolita-chan. Most of us are trying to come in from the cold, and wrap ourselves in furs and laces. The sadder part is seeing the smallest ones reach for it too young.

Labels: discussion

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 9:00 AM 27 Comments

Lucky Packs: The Good, The Bad, and the Rioting

So, unless you've been under the proverbial lace-covered rock, you probably know about the recent Lucky Pack debacle. I suppose debacle is a little weak of a word - we could just as easily call it, 'The Reign of Terror', but I believe that's been taken - but nonetheless, it's been all over the Lolita news. Baby, the Stars Shine Bright released Lucky Packs at noon Japan time - or so they said. Between a Katrina-worthy flood of overseas buyers breaking the webpage like match sticks and some buyers who managed to buy theirs either early or through alternate routes, there were suddenly tons of girls who found that there were NO LUCKY PACKS.

Blood was spilled, my dears. Oh yes.

So, what's the big deal about Lucky Packs? Why are girls willing to bash some skulls to get one, and what is the mystery behind this process anyway?

Lucky Packs are the Lolita world's idea of clearance. Whatever didn't sell that season - some with dubious designs, others just due to lack of popularity - is assembled into a little package. The brands do them all a little differently, but generally you can expect to find some sort of coordinate in there. For example: A jumperskirt, blouse, tote and socks. But the best part is, of course, the price. Lucky Packs range from 3,000 yen packs, which may only have accessories, to up to 20,000 yen packs, which could have onepieces or jumperskirts inside. The idea being that if you bought all the items separately, it would probably total three times the worth of the single pack.

There is a catch, however.

You generally don't know what's in them.

Claire's [yes, my beloved Claire's strikes again!] used to do this when I was about ten or so. For a price of, say, an extra five dollars, they'd give you a little goodie bag with some miscellaneous accessories inside. Some of it might be ridiculous - as you'd discover on the way home, as you feverishly ripped open the bag in the backseat - like, a headband with a single terrycloth bow stuck on it. Or, you might have scored a rack of stud earrings in every color! It was a complete hit-or-miss, but that was the fun, right?

Lucky Packs from the brands are just like this. Generally they're released as the season changes - end of summer (summer and spring) and New Year's (winter and autumn).

The Good:

-You could end up with a great pieces you otherwise couldn't afford, possibly even a complete new outfit;
-They're great wardrobe builders if you need to buy full outfits, or if you're the kind with so many clothes you're not too picky about coordinating;
-They're a great deal compared to buying them seperately;
-They generally resell okay if you get something you really can't stand
-There is excitement in everyone opening them at once, and comparing what they got - it's a bonding-with-the-community exercise

The Bad:

-You could put in all the effort to find you can't stand what you've bought;
-There is after all, a reason why you didn't buy __________ from the brand at full-price in the first place: it's a huge brand faux pas that nobody likes;
-It doesn't fit;
-It's not flattering

The Ugly:

-You might have to spend hours refreshing pages, staying up late or getting up early, hands poised over the F5 button;
-You might find yourself pitted against a tide of other Lolitas who all want the same cutsew for OMGSUPERCHEAP;
-There is fierce competition to buy them off the sales community;

Basically, they're not for the faint of heart. I really only recommend them for either seasoned Lolitas or baby Lolitas who have big sister Lolitas watching out for them. This is especially true if you need a shopping service or personal shopper [brand doesn't ship overseas]. You'll need someone who speaks fist. Er, mouse-click. And if you're the kind of Lolita who needs their parents to order for you - don't. Your parents will not be amused about spending an evening crouched over a screen while you wail and punch buttons. It's not pretty, and they'll get annoyed fast. So it helps if you are mistress of your own funds, so to speak.

Lucky Packs: great if you can handle the heat. Terrible if your makeup melts.

Labels: shopping

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 4:02 PM 2 Comments

To Isobe, Thanks for Everything; Lolita-chan

So I utterly admit to having loved this movie, 'To Wong Foo, thanks for everything - Julie Newmar'. To sum up, it focuses on three drag queens temporarily stranded in a small Nebraska town. They discover things about how these people live and perhaps about their own emotional growth in the process, etc., etc.

However, it is the following excerpt that I'd like you to pay attention to - I think it's really quite enlightening to the Lolita culture, as I'll explain in a minute.



It reminds me of the notion behind 'seasoned' Lolitas. First, you are a newbie - 'a boy in a dress' shall we say - and have a single outfit perhaps, which you might, if bold enough, wear in front of your mirror. It may not be the best, it might never risk exposure to the harsh elements of the Internet, but you have it. Does this make you Lolita? According to quite a few, it does. I however, think that a true Lolita is one who has studied the style and knows how to apply it well - coordinate, wear, and style [hair, makeup, etc.] It's a full package. As Noxeema says, you have a lot to learn before you are a drag queen. In this case, I suppose we'll say either Lolita Queen or Lolita Princess [which reminds me of Nana Kitade!]

The drag queens of the movie list four steps to becoming a drag queen. They are:

1. Let Good Thoughts be your Sword and Shield
2. Ignore Adversity
3. Abide by the Rules of Love
4. Larger Than Life is Just the Right Size

These look like great rules for the Lolita too, don't they?

'Let good thoughts be your sword and shield'. When you're faced with hard things like outsiders who harass you, family members who don't like your style, or even the other Lolitas in the community who can sometimes be a little hard - remember why you wear Lolita. You wear Lolita because it makes you feel beautiful. If you keep that feeling, it blocks out the other negative things.

'Ignore adversity'. Adversity also being the form of the above mentioned - hecklers, etc. Just float right past. Personally, I always laugh at the people who laugh at me - they're the ones humiliating themselves by being rude.

'Abide by the rules of love.' I believe this is one of the most important. Try to have respect for other people, both in and out of the Lolita community.You don't have to love them, per se, but just Golden Rule - treat others how you'd want people to treat you.

My favorite! 'Larger than life is just the right size.' This is the truth. Be proud and be bright and full of colors. Wear cake on your head, if you like, or six-inch Mana-esque platforms. Everyone else is just too small.

Labels: inspirational

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 10:40 PM 2 Comments