Lolita Charm: November 2009

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Wired and Ribboned: Cute Electronics

Many girls like to say they are from a different century - the Rococo period or the Victorian period, most commonly. But there are a couple things we'd miss if we hopped in a time machine, bound for the frilly lands of the past. Like toilets, for one, and the right to vote, for another. But right at the top of the list would also be the accouterments we can't seem to live without. Our generation is plugged, hooked, and jacked into electronics. If it weren't for the Internet, after all, there'd be very lolita lolita culture or foreign fashion. And the lolita has her own ideas of just what makes the perfect electronic. Here are my top picks for cute gadgets, geared to hook you up!

Laptop & Netbook

I write all of my work from laptop, which is a heavy thing that enjoys lounging on my sofa. Lately I'm thinking of upgrading - to a campus-friendly, traveling Netbook. Of course I wanted one in pink - a great base for decorating with glittery rhinestones or cabochons. My first choice is a Toshiba Mini. It comes in a pretty pink pearl color, very suitable for hime styles, and boasts a nine hour battery life!

My second choice, smaller and cuter and sprinkled with hearts, is Disney's answer to the Netbook. It has a five-hour battery life, which is decent (I am all about the battery life) and claims to have a Disney-themed interface. I wonder if Tinkerbell tells you you've got mail?

Or, if you're not interested in replacing your current laptop or netbook, go take a look at Schtickers. This website enables you to customize your own laptop decal, just by uploading an image from your hard drive. My friend Miss Julia has the back of her laptop decorated with the black colorway of Metamorphose's Swan Lake print, for example. Angelic Pretty ads, lolita art you love, or even just a photo of lace trim (chic on a black laptop for the more Gothier amongst us, yes?) could all be great ideas.

Deco

Are you into the gluey and glittery world of deco? If you're feeling super ambitious and flush with rhinestones, you can make your laptop an entire deco project. I have heard rumors of completely coated laptops, but haven't seen them. More likely is to get a few large cabochons and do a set of simple corner designs, or a cluster of them in the center to cover up the logo. I've recently started decorating smaller things as I get started (they'll make their appearance here eventually) and one of my favorite places to shop for cabochons as of late is Mimi Lo Lo on Etsy. She carries a wide variety of designs, more than I have seen in any other shop. Or if you want a specific cabochon you saw in a magazine or Japanese guide, you're likely to find it at dekoden, which does ship overseas.

Headphones & Earbuds

Important for listening to your electronic in public, you'll need a pair of headphones or earbuds. Some people prefer one or the other, depending on comfort (I can never really get a set of earbuds to fit into my ear correctly) or hairstyle (maybe you don't want to crush your giant curls, as if the headphone band would fit over it anyway!)

In the earbud category, crystals and decorations rule the roost. Target currently has these jeweled Hello Kitty earbuds for only $14.99. Miss Lumpy has a set and they seem to have fairly good fit and quality. Or you can get these heart-shaped and crystaled ones from Amazon.com. I bought these same earbuds in lilac from Forever Love a while back, and they seem to be fairly sturdy. Here are a few more options for buying the product - I didn't pay very much for mine at all (maybe $8?) so you can see that the price does fluctuate. Make sure to shop around!

Or there are the headphones. When I look for comfort, this is my first place - something big and squashy with a social 'Do Not Disturb' sign built in. Recently a friend of mine posted this very cute street snap of a girl with star cut-out headphones. Lucky for us, you can buy the exact same pair on YesAsia! I like how they blend futuristic, clean-cut, and cute into a great electronic. Hmm, I wonder what she hears as she gazes into the distance? Sort of a mysterious feeling, isn't it?

And of course there is the infamous Swimmer headphone series. Swimmer is a cute Japanese brand that has mingled its way over in the lolita crowd. Typically they release four to six designs of headphones in a batch. I have a pair of pink ones with white kitties on them! They even have a joint in the middle and collapse smaller for travel. I am slightly disappointed that there is a rattle in one ear however, which leads me to believe that something is loose. I got mine from Pretty Graffitti, who now also carries a bow-shaped Swimmer earbud as well!

Or if you want something more minimalistic and touted for its quality, try skullcandy. You can see the super fuschia and white 'low rider' '08 model on their website here.

And then there is one more teeny accessory I can't resist sharing, especially since it operates with your headphones. In case you couldn't 'light up your eyes' enough, you can now have LED false eyelashes. They get their power from the headphones and whatever electronic device you're wearing, and are motion-activated. They remind me of a neon light, with the figure's eyes winking in the darkness. They're pretty out there, but could be cute for clubbing, a photoshoot, or anything Candyfuture.

Extra for Experts

Pink Laptop.com - a website all about buying the best pink laptop or netbook and accessories.

If you've got an iPhone, you can now make it chocolate with this skin. Personally, I think it'd be triggering towards a craving!

Labels: lolita living, shopping

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

25 Ways to Salvage a Bad Day

Your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you. You think you've failed physics - again. You've spilled dye on your best dress, and it's not coming out. Here's your tool kit for handling the worst.

Spend too much time in the pink, crazy-glittery girl aisle of a toy store, or a Sanrio store.
Buy a bottle of bubbles and blow them everywhere.
Stick temporary tattoos all over yourself. Bonus points if they are shaped like candies.
Listen to guilty-pleasure music.
Gather a gaggle of girls and go to an all-night diner. Go family style on as many ice cream sundaes as you can eat/afford.
Peruse second-hand lolita shops and make a wish list of all the items that make you smile.
Dress up a non-lolita friend in your lolita wardrobe for the day.
Meditate on the running water of a fountain or pool.
Practice your best foreign accent - be that Irish, French, or Japanese.
Take endless photos of yourself, and then use an image editing program to cover them with hearts, sparkles, and lace.
Buy a new lipstick in a color you never thought you could pull off. Wear it immediately.
Develop a 'bad day' alter ego. Mine drives fast and obnoxiously chews bubble gum.
Reorganize your lolita clothes by color. Use this as an excuse to name all of the different shades of pink.
Make a Tumblr and post to it the entire contents of the 'inspiration' folder saved to your hard drive. You know you have one!
Reread your favorite books from when you were a kid.
Replace all of your colored light bulbs with rainbow-colored ones, or just string the whole place up in fairy lights.
Practice as many different signatures as you can for when you become famous.
Read only the glowy, petal-scattered parts of your favorite romantic manga.
Write goals for yourself on your bathroom mirror in lipstick.
Get yourself a crazy, super-expensive pair of eyelashes from Shu Uemura's lash bar. Then bat them at everyone. These are my daydream!
Mix very fine glitter into your shampoo or conditioner.
Draw a list of all the tattoos you would like to get someday.
Watch ridiculous videos of kittens.
Learn ten words in your favorite foreign language.
Go to a tea shop and ask to smell all the teas, then ask what the shopkeeper recommends. And make sure to buy something for their trouble, of course!

Feel better! ♥

Labels: inspirational

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Lolitas & Glasses

So I admit to being a contact lens junkie. I work a long day, so my contacts can go in at seven or eight in the morning and not come out until midnight. And unfortunately, this has made my eyes a little sensitive. Doctor's order? No contact lenses for a month, while I let my peepers rest!

But I'm completely unused to dressing up in lolita with glasses. Glasses are what I stumble to the bathroom in, not get dolled up in. But I know there are plenty of adorable girls that were glasses and make it work. So, I did some nosing around to find the perfect lolita eyeglasses!

Recently in the world of fashion, glasses have begun to come back. You can spot big frames sprinkled throughout Alice Deco, for spank! style. You can also see the pretty ulzzangs of Korea wearing glasses, too - sometimes as prop or sometimes as prescription. I even managed to pick up a pair of them in the United States this summer - pink, big-framed things that make nerdy chic (as shown above).

The popular style of glasses for cute, girly fashions are big and a little retro - shapes range from perfect circles to more of an oblong. They're generally large, so as not to block any part of your eye - ordinary glasses have the tendency to cut you off at the lash line. Because they are large, they also don't cast shadows where girls tends to have under-eye circles, as well. And of course, we all know how everything cute seems to require big eyes! These give the illusion of bigger eyes on a smaller face. And they give you room to wear false lashes without bumping against the rims constantly.

I've just ordered my first pair from Prettyandcute.com, a website selling Asian beauty products like circle lenses, BB cream, and false lashes. These are the ones I went for:

Consider your hair color and style when picking out eyeglasses. My hair is pink, so I thought white would be a good pop. But if I was blonde or a soft, honey-color, I would love these glasses - so soft and sweet! My style is also somewhere between very sweet and more of an otome/mori/fairy style for casual days, so I didn't want anything super round. These are more traditionally shaped and will be better for easing into. The best part? Most glasses from Pretty and Cute run about $14 - 16.

They also remind me of the antique glasses I tried on once. If you love classic lolita and historical things, getting a set of vintage frames made to your prescription can be a good idea. They're usually round with thin, curved wire earhooks. You want to them to be circa 1930, while the frame was still round, delicate and old-fashioned looking, but they had already invented the nose pad! I think technically they could be called spectacles, really, a very fantastical name ;) Hunt them up at antique shops, or try looking for retailers online. Vintage Eyewear has a good selection. These are more expensive than the plastic Pretty and Cute glasses, but run about average for the frames you would get at the eye doctor.

If you still want more, you can find nerdier, hipper frames at Urban Outfitters. These run about $10 a pair. I've also always wanted them to pop out the lenses of sunglasses and replace them with clear ones. How cute would it be to have a pair of heart-shaped, pink crystal eyeglasses?! Not to mention all the cute options you can find at places like Claires. I have an aqua pair of sunglasses with a little heart-shaped cut out in the bridge of the nose.

After you have your glasses picked out, go to your eye doctor or any place that handles glasses, and ask them to change the lenses to your prescription. My eye doctor said that so long as the frames were in good condition, they'd be willing to change them.

It also took me a while to get used to makeup with glasses. Before, I would skip doing very much to my eye makeup because I figured nobody could see them anyway. Now I realize that it's just as important if not more so, because people are seeing your eyes framed by your glasses. This makeup tutorial by Michelle Phan really helped me get started.

So, wonderful readers, do any of you wear glasses with your lolita style? Got any secret tips and tricks to share with the rest of our bespectacled audience?

Labels: cosmetics, fashion

Friday, November 20, 2009

Baby Steps

image by plenty of flour on Flickr

Even after the other brands continue to advance west - Baby's wild success at their San Francisco opening, now Innocent World's excellent overseas customer service - Angelic Pretty, one of the arguably most popular brands, has only made baby steps. The English website is something to get lucky on, while most girls still head for the Japanese site and the shopping service; the best places to get Angelic Pretty are second-hand like Closet Child or Yahoo!Japan. And if you're not able to attend their events in Los Angeles or Paris, the chances of having much interaction with the brand are slim. But for those of us huddled along the northern edge of the United States East Coast, you can finally get your sugar rush a little closer to home.

Tokyo Rebel announced today that after very long negotiations, they are carrying Angelic Pretty merchandise in their shop, from bags to even a few coveted pieces of the latest prints. While the store is new now, with luck and hopefully a growing fan base, they'll have the opportunity to expand - and make New York City flush with frills ;)

So, in a previous article about Tokyo Rebel, the big question mark hovering over everyone's head was - will their choice of more classical brands effect the local fashion scene? In my recent trip to New York City, the styles were mostly set somewhere between sweet and classic - but since many girls wore their own creations, I don't think it's the influence of the shop. Someone remarked recently that there does seem to be a style polarization by location - the very sweet can be found on the warmer sides of California, a few pockets of Central and Eastern Europe seem inspired to house a rookery of beautiful Gothics. I've always personally wondered if they're inspired by the elegantly dark architecture or the spooky legends of the lady vampire, Elizabeth of Bathory. Do you think one area tends to a specific style?

Hopefully during this holiday break, the Loligirls film crew will be making a sojourn to Tokyo Rebel to check out the details first-hand. They even a have a Loligirls poster displayed in the shop!

Labels: fashion, shopping

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Silhouette Tutorial

As part of the It's Your Castle Series, I'll be posting a few easy decorating crafts every few weeks. And I mean easy - no required crazy cutters, specialty glues, linoleum blocks - just things you can mostly locate around the house.

This week Miss Lumpy and I made Victorian silhouettes, the modern way. Here's mine:

Looks kind of like me, right? My favorite part was adding the style to it. I wanted something really sweet and a little fairy-kei, so I used rainbow heart-speckled scrapbook paper for my background, and Swarovski gems as accents. So, here's how it works:

1. Have a friend take a digital photo of you from the side - from mid-bust up. It's best if you do something fanciful with your hair if it's long, to show the nape of the neck. This is actually bow hair :) Make sure you stand up straight! Here is Miss Lumpy's photograph (you can see her finished, classical silhouette here). You'll notice she has short hair, so we made sure to give the back and front some definition and define her curls more.

2. After you have a photo you like, print it off your computer. Then trim around the picture's edges, removing all the background, so that you have the silhouette pattern.

3. Trace onto black paper - crafting or scrapbook is best, as it's sturdy with smooth edges (for example, avoid construction paper). Then carefully trim around the black silhouette. You can also use the picture to shape the image more carefully, like accentuating the neck or perfecting the nose or lips.

4. Cut an oval or rectangle out of your scrapbook paper background. You can get this in all kinds of styles, with hearts, stars, snowflakes, bows, crowns - just go to your local craft store for tons of ideas. I used an oval-cutter to cut my background, but you can also trace a tupperware container (the oval kind) or use your frame as a base (if you're using an oval frame, like mine).

5. Decorate! This is the fun part. Get ribbon scraps, jewels, pearls, and glue (I used both tacky glue, which dries clear, and hot glue for the larger pieces (like the 3D glittery hair bow). When you feel like it's done, affix it to the background paper. Careful - make sure it's straight (unlike me! ;A;)

And that's it! They look cute hung in your room, or given to your loved ones this holiday season (I know my mom would kill for one). It's also cute if you and your boyfriend/girlfriend make a pair and then set them facing on another. Try experimenting with different background papers, decorations, or even switch your black silhouette paper to a bright or dark color (like hot pink, dark red, or chocolate brown).

I hope you give it a try, they're really a fun way to while away an afternoon with a cup of tea :)

Labels: crafty loli, lolita living

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Fuji TV Meets NYC

Today was a big day for me - meeting some of the wonderful New York City lolitas, some for the first time! The nature of our meet? Fuji TV, a Japanese television network, had discovered our presence and wanted to see some American frill in action! We spent a lovely day at Bryant Park, eating crepes and (in my case) attempting to ice skate.

If you're looking for something to do in the city, that is the place to go. Now that Christmas season has started, they've erected a miniature town of greenhouses full of cute things. My favorite shops are Stone Flower, very sweet and bordering on himegyaru; and Miss Hoe's, which has more classic and punky items like unicorn rocking horse necklaces and lacy mori-girl dresses. You can also ice-skate at the Pond. Bring your own skates and a combination lock (to use a locker) and your visit can be free! You can also rent skates and duffel bags for keeping your things, if you like.

It was amazing for me, being from Small-Town, CT, to see so many people interested in the fashion - my favorite being flamboyant older ladies and adorable little girls who say they want to play dress-up too :) We were also attacked by a gang of photography students from FIT - the professor's running commentary was hilarious: 'See, see, this like Bambi outfit, very 1990s, Hello Kitty, pink hair, note the feet, very important part of her character, accessories, look at the bow in her hair!' Plus a plethora of small dogs, typically in jackets! And I got to meet all of these lovely ladies, who were some of the sweetest girls I have had the pleasure of poofin' out with.

My outfit theme ended up being bunnies to match the Cherry Berry bunnies in the dress - with my SWIMMER bunny scarf, BABY bunny hoodie, My Melody Pochette, and giant bunny-ear buns. Here's a shot of my hair & makeup:

Here's the full outfit, taken inside Miss Hoe's shop :)

When the television segment airs, I'll make sure it gets it own spotlight on Lolita Charm!

Labels: meetup

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Public Property & Paparazzi

Somewhere near you, someone is staring. You can feel there eyes on you. That's nothing new. But then you see the glint of something in the light - a camera lens. Someone you don't know, who hasn't spoken to you, let alone asked your permission, has decided to take your photograph.

If you go out in lolita, you've probably received plenty of reactions to how you are dressed. That's something that we expect and can handle relatively well, especially as you get used to it. But what if you find yourself the subject of unwanted photographs, either on a cellphone or a regular camera? At what point do you stop being an ordinary citizen and become a museum piece, flash-photography allowed?

The public has this notion that as soon as you do something outside of the realm of the ordinary, you become public spectacle - probably a throwback to the days at the old Elizabethan fair, where for a few pennies you could stare at the physical deformities, which then turned into the circus-era 'freak show'. People are torn between fascination and fear of the 'other', which naturally may cause them to ask questions, stare, etc. You can read more about dealing with the public in my previous article here. But photos add a whole other dimension of issues to the topic of dealing with the public.

For one, it's not something you should put up with if you can. To reduce someone to a mere item or entertainment is not something I support. The public can make their remarks, they can think whatever they like, but they do not get to jeopardy your personal safety or sense of humanity. What these people fail to realize is that they aren't just photographing a thing; there is a real person under the clothes. But let's save the feelings for another day, and talk about something more important: your personal safety.

It can be dangerous to have photos you don't control the location or content of. I was being stalked for a period of time and my college published photos of me without permission in a giveaway notebook - if my stalker had seen it, he'd have known where I could be found and what I currently looked like (having changed my appearance since then), as well as what classes I was taking (due to location). Thankfully this hasn't occurred, but it is something to consider. As soon as a photo is published on the Internet particularly, it has the opportunity to be seen by anyone - as many have found out through Facebook and Myspace. I know that my photos often appear elsewhere, and therefore don't include ways to identify my location - like a house number, for example. As lolitas, posting photos of ourselves is one essential way for us to connect - sharing coordinates, hair, and makeup. But those photos definitely have a way of traveling, so be careful what information you reveal deliberately or inadvertently in them. Now add in that you don't get to control the information of the photos, and you can see the hazard.

It's debated as to what your recourse is on this topic - are you allowed to be photographed in a public place, and what exactly constitutes a public place? The mall, the sidewalk, at your school or place of work? Regardless of what the legal issues settle down to, here are a few ways you can react when you see the flicker of a camera focused on you.

How To Handle The Paparazzi

Speak up! If someone is making you feel uncomfortable, call them out on it - politely and with a little wit if you like, but let them know that you - and subsequently the people around you - are aware of and won't tolerate their behavior. Usually this will embarrass them enough to flee the scene. If anything, it also sends the message that this is just not socially acceptable behavior - people are people, whether they are perceived as 'normal' or not.
Buddy system. If you're walking around on the streets, have a friend with you or for super-protection, a giant beefy boyfriend of yours. If you're too shy to say something, they will. If they're not used to the public reaction to you, prep them first - "Don't be surprised if we get a lot of attention, and if anyone seems to be bothering us, please say something."
Security! If someone is really, really persistent - don't be afraid to call on your local security, whether it be towards the establishment, campus police, or even your local police. If you're in a store or another place where they don't allow photographs, mention this loudly. You may not have much recourse in a public place like on the streets, but in private establishment, you do.
Not all paparazzi is bad - if they ask politely or seem mostly harmless, I will usually let them take a photo. Recently, I was approached by one of our exchange students on campus, after I saw her taking a photo at a distance. She complimented my style and asked for another, so I didn't really see the harm in that. If someone asks, I will usually also pose for them.
Fans and parasols: If you're really worried about your face floating around the Internet or a stranger's camera, carry a fan or parasol with you, or if either of these is too big to tote, perhaps a decorative handkerchief. You can use these to block your face if you see someone angling a camera towards you. In a pinch, you can also use books and newspapers, or possibly duck behind a tree or other person. It might sound a little silly, but in the case of stalkers, it can be important (as I discussed above).

I hope this helps any of you darlings while you're out in public. If you have suggestions on how to handle the 'paparazzi', feel free to comment! What are your personal experiences with strangers photographing you?

Labels: discussion, etiquette

Monday, November 9, 2009

Colombian Hot Chocolate!

A friend of mine recently spent a few months visiting the country of Colombia, and before she went back to school she graciously surprised me with a brick of bitter Colombian chocolate. Since Miss Lumpy came by to visit with a beautiful slice of cherry gateau, we decided to try making it the traditional way my friend suggested. If you want to try it, you will need:

a block of chocolate
milk or cream
a saucepan
sugar to taste

Pour a cup of milk into a saucepan and heat over the stove (one cup of milk makes about two servings in traditional teacups). Add a section of chocolate (ours was printed with sections - I'd say something about the size and depth of a postage stamp, or perhaps the size of two sugar cubes). Use a spoon to stir the chocolate into the milk, and break it up with the spoon as it gets softer. When it's fully liquid, whisk if until it seems sufficiently fluffy and one liquid. Pour into cups. It does have a thick residue, which you can strain with a tea-strainer if it bothers you - but it's just shavings of chocolate, so that's more to your preference.

The hot chocolate tastes much more like a coffee drink or a mocha, because it's not tempered with added sweetness. Use a few spoonfuls of sugar or maybe whipped cream to sweeten it up if you're not fond on the coffee flavor. The slightly bitter drink is best paired with a sweeter chocolate in a dessert, or a fruit flavor like strawberry or cherry or raspberry.

Psst - you can also sneak a peek at my new Milky-chan onepiece in this photo! It's really sweet, I love that milk chocolate color and the teeny silky bows. You'll definitely be seeing more of it soon!

Labels: cooking, lolita living

Sunday, November 8, 2009

November Style Tips

Fight the gray by adding one very bright accessory to every outfit! I like sunshiney yellow, coral, or a really ultra violet kind of pink!
Save your hair for the week and make a pact - no heat or product! Go for fishtail braids, pin curls, or creative hair accessories.
Buy yourself a few brightly colored petticoats and be colorful even underneath! They'll be a fun addition only you know about, and can be pressed into service for fairy-kei if you like.
Sparkle up a set of lace tights... I love these, even prettier than adding lace appliques to plain nylons!
Make it your mission to find one fascinating ring for each finger - sweets rings, giant cocktails, rings with letters, anything! Wear them all at once like a rock star.
Hoodies - the hooded sweatshirt - is invaluably soft and comfortable, but not always very cute. Get yourself a plain one from a craft store and decide what it needs - an applique, embroidery? Giant rhinestones?! - And make it work with the rest of your wardrobe.
Become a regular at your local bakery, enough to give recommendations. You might make friends with the bakery staff, and at the least you'll learn about different kinds of pastries or bread. Today's cake slice from our local bakery, La Palette, was cherry gateau with real whipped cream!
Want snow, but looking at bare lawns and trees? Cut out a set of paper snowflakes. In the middle of a lovely spring? Use folded paper to cut strings of dolls, heart or stars as streamers, to hang in your room or to surprise a friend with.
Leave post-its on public restroom mirrors that say, You Are Beautiful. Decide to be an agent of Operation Beautiful.

Labels: style tips

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Magic

"Maybe pessimism is something we have to start applying daily, like moisturizer. Otherwise, how do you bounce back when reality batters your belief system and love does not, as promised, conquer all? Is hope a drug we need to go off of, or is it keeping us alive?"

"What's the harm in believing?"

~Sex and the City

♥ ♥ ♥

"Somehow, something always happens," she cried, "just before things get to the very worst. It is as if the Magic did it. If I could only just remember that always. The worst thing never quite comes."

~A Little Princess, Frances Hodgson Burnett

I'm going to deviate a little today. I am tiptoeing out of the world of material lace and ribbons and edging surreptitiously into the world of real fairy tales - the things we imitate but hope to be true.

For as long as I have been writing this blog, I have been asked, questioned, applauded, and ridiculed for being something akin to an airy-fairy princess. Somewhere between optimistic and delusional lies the true gem that is positivity, which has long masqueraded until the titles of the 'silver lining', 'the Secret', and 'wishcraft'. I choose to simplify this down to terms that make sense even to the smallest children - the magic.

It's the same magic that brings the Velveteen Rabbit to life. It is the magic that unlocks the secret garden to Mary, gives Anne of Green Gables her Idlewilde, and makes a little prince love a rose more than anything else in the world.

These are all examples from literature or fairytales - the place where magic is most prominent. But art imitates life and vice versa, so it goes to show that magic exists in the real world too. But perhaps it's a little harder to come by - because the big unknown is that you have to make it yourself.

People have often asked me about my positivity, especially after the recent article about chronic illness and lolitas. That's not the only problem weighing on girls today, too - other things like stress, schoolwork, eating disorders, relationships, money troubles - all made into a thick lasagna to bring you down.

Some of these things may seem like common sense or even a little silly - but they're things people would do well to put into practice rather than just file away under good advice. In the words of Alice, 'I often give myself very good advice - but seldom follow it.' By practicing these tiny little things every day, you can weather through even the hardest of situations.

start a gratitude list. I've been doing this on a weekly basis for about two or three years now, and basically it's done like this: write down in a journal, online, wherever, a list of absolutely anything that made you happy that week. It could be a new dress in the mail, yellow tulips on your walk to school, or a first date. The scale ranges from a great new microwave dinner up to getting a new puppy. It doesn't matter what's on it, so long as you do it. By compiling all those things you've decided to spend at least a little time focusing on the positive things that happened to you that week. Sometimes I add photos I really love, or doodle in the margins.
sleep. Sleep enough, even if it means going to bed earlier and recording your favorite shows. Get some nice pillows, a comfortable comforter, and get in there and snooze. It's good for your skin and your mood. My saying is 'sleep luxuriously'. It's written on my white board!
smile. Now that my hair is really noticeable, I get more attention than ever when just out and about - lolita or not. The best response? Just smile! If you've disarmed someone with a snarky comment, then good if you've made someone else smile, all the better! Small interactions make such an important part of our day, really. Humans are social creatures through and through, a fact we can't escape - even though we try, especially in New England where stranger interaction is a big no-no (in New England we like personal space, clam chowder, and for everyone to mind their own bees' wax, apparently). Wave at children in the school bus stopped next to you at a light. Smile at the lady staring at your from the produce section.
cry. When things get really tough, choose a time when you can have your cry. It's important not to keep yourself bottled up. If you're having a hard time crying even though you feel the need to, choose a few melancholy songs to listen to. If you prefer to be alone, you can; or you can ask a friend to stay with you. I think when it comes to harder things like illness or grieving we want to stay strong, and not show emotion; but letting it out once in a while keeps it all from stockpiling.
fuel yourself. As a lolita and a person I know that I have a strong need to see beautiful things and feed the visual area of my brain, so I'm on a lot of image communities. If you're more of an audio person, collect music that makes you feel happy.
sunlight. Get some. Even if it's very dark, there has to be a scrap of it somewhere - or you can buy special lights that replicate sunlight. Back in ye old caveman days, we lived in caves so much that our bodies developed a taste for Vitamin D, obtained from sunlight and giving us a shot of serotonin. Serotonin is that juice in your brain that makes you feel happy. Because in America we've just switched to this funny thing called Daylight Savings, and it's officially pitch-black at four in the afternoon, I might even try switching to a dawn simulator or some full-spectrum light bulbs to soak in.

Do you notice a pattern in this list? Every one of these things has something in common. It's you. I didn't mention any ways to deal with your boyfriend, mom, dad, best friend, roommate, bullies, or whatever. You can't change other people. In this algorithm everybody gets free will, the above included. The only person you can change is yourself and your reaction to other people. Make yourself your most important project. Decide who you want to be, what changes you want to make in your life, make a game plan, then do it.

I think this ties in well to lolita. Lolitas dress for themselves, they spoil themselves instead of waiting for anyone else to do it. Momoko of Kamikaze Girls drops everything to make herself happy - and granted she wasn't always moral in doing so, but isn't that admirable? In a society where women are supposed to sacrifice for the good of the family and everyone is supposed to 'take one for the team', isn't it important sometimes to care for yourself? Even though we as lolitas are known for saying, I do this for me, it's easy to get even that wrapped up in other people. When I get up in the morning, I do my best to pick out what I want to wear and how I want to do my hair based on how I feel. Maybe today is a day to doll up, or a day to go without makeup at all. Does anyone else ever feel that they wear makeup or a certain clothing style because people 'expect' it? It's not always easy to flout that pressure, but if you practice, it will be easier. As my Twitter followers may know, my grandmother (circa 1914, by the way!) threatened to shave my head... because I have pink hair. I told her if she shaved my head, I'd shave hers ;P If that's not the result of practice, I don't know what is!

So, how do you live magic, beyond a few extra winks of sleep and a little me-time?

If someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up as a child, I probably said something like most little girls: a veterinarian-ballerina-princess-movie star. But I think that today I'd still say, I want to be a princess when I grow up. That's sort of a personal thing to say, I know, and that it opens up to a whole bucket of criticism - that the idea of princesses doesn't really exist, and that even if it did, it'd be a load of poppycock. Or maybe the Paris Hiltons of the world are the real princesses these days - rich, tabloid-worthy, and someone we'd prefer not to emulate.

But I don't think that's true. To say I want to be a princess is to say that I want to live my life deliberately, with the intent to see the world as beautiful. I want to have my heart on my sleeve, and proudly; I want to help others be happy, too. We've been trained to say we want a certain profession when we grow up, like a fire fighter, a doctor, an astronaut - but that's what we want to do, not who we want to be. I'm probably going to go into marketing, work at an advertising firm, maybe write a book some day. I'll work nine to five and someday they might insist that I trade out my beautiful pink hair to become a brunette. But that's all secondary. Those are just on the outside. As Sara Crewe said (can you tell that A Little Princess was my favorite book growing up? I had a huge one with illustrations!), 'It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold. But it is a great deal more to be a princess all the time when no one knows it.'

I don't think that 'being a princess' is something you ever arrive at. I think it's something you strive to be, not to do - to continuously try to be open, be compassionate, and harm none. You could say that just falls under the title of 'being a good person'. To me, being a good person means helping out at soup kitchens, paying your taxes on time, and recycling. Which are all wonderful things, but they're more about social responsibility. They're not about who you are on the inside - what's in your intentions, your energy, your heart.

Instead, consider your heart your own project. If you try to make magic happen in your life, it will start happening to you.

Put a tiara on top of your soul.
Sew frills onto the hem of your heart!

~Novala Takemoto

Labels: inspirational

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

It's Your Castle: Series Start!

I've been asked recently about my personal lolita space - my bedroom and closet! - and how I make them into my own. Well, no hiding here - despite collecting cute accessories and items, my room can still manage to look like a lolita clothing-and-shoe bomb hit it. Quite often, actually. It's not really my best achievement! And I bet sometimes you wish your room or apartment was different - do you also suffer from lolita bomb syndrome? So instead of just posting cute photos of the room when it's been redecorated and readorned, I though I'd walk you through the process - and turn it into a project! Every new article in the It's Your Castle Series will include a step or idea in turning your space into a reflection of your personal taste, with my results from following the same article. So get on your ruffly aprons, pop open your paint cans, and fire up your vaccuums - and start!

Before Your Begin

This is probably the hardest roadblock when it comes to redecorating and lolifying your room - cleaning and decluttering. It requires dedication and a willingness to schlep through old papers, books and stuffed animals for an afternoon. If you need help being motivated, ask a friend to sit on your bed and prod you every time you quit cleaning, or include routine breaks for a sit down and a cup of tea. Basically, this is what you need to do:

Sort your things into sections. They are as follows: I need this, I don't need this, and This should have been thrown out last Christmas for God's sake. First, take all the things you don't need or don't find pleasing to the eye (especially for knick-knacks and other bric-a-brac) - decide if they should be put in storage, given away, or sold (sold usually this means lolita clothes you're not wearing for any reason). The things that should have been thrown out... well, you know what to do with those.

The things you need, decide if they need to put away or displayed. Displayed means something that is aesthetically pleasing, and that makes you happy to look at it often. Things like your collection of origami cranes, photos of your family, or maybe your favorite dress. Things that you need but don't add to the decor of your room need to be stored. If you head to your local craft store, like Joann Fabrics, you can often find very decorative boxes and hatboxes.

Clean. Shake out your rug, wash the windows, the whole shebang. Dust. You want a clean pallette to work with!

Theme

Now that you've cleaned out your space, it's time to pick a theme. Look to your favorite objects, your interests, or your lolita style to choose one. Brainstorm a list of things you already like in your room, or motifs you'd like to add. One of my favorite things is my pink strawberry area rug! My theme is somewhere between whimsical antique and super-sugary sweet. I have a collection of porcelain figurines and dolls from my grandmother, and like to use her embroidered table runners, but I also love my collection of Baby the Stars Shine Bright post cards and pink fairy lights. You can make your theme anything - maybe classic lolitas would like a theme based around a British library, with plush bordeauxs and four-poster beds; or perhaps a gothic lolita would like something stark with wrought iron.

Color Palette

Next you'll want to decide on a few colors. I recommend no more than three - one or two main colors and an accent. Since my room receives minimal light, the lilac walls I currently have are a no-go - they increase the shadowy, lethargic quality of the room. To pep it up, I've picked out a warm caramel color and a peppermint candy pink, with accents of cream. Since the caramel and cream are mostly neutral, it'll be easy to add other colors in the accessories in small doses, like yellow, lavender, or mint.

Where to Put Your Attention

Which item dominates the room - your bed, your bureau, your desk? It's usually either the biggest item or the item that gets the most use. My top two would be the bed - typically a haven for Care Bears - and the bureau, a large cherry piece with a full mirror. Because the bureau is so large, I've decided to keep it clean on top, except for a few choice pieces: my carousel jewelry box, my curly pink wig (excellent for displaying hats or favored hair accessories!), and a tea cup and saucer set with my best brooches and jewelry.

As for the bed, I'll bo focusing on finding the right bedspread (it's essentially a huge canvas - what do you want on it?) and adorable decorative pillows. Right now I'm eyeing a bedspread from Romantic Princess, who specializes in princessy decor - from bedframes to tissue-box covers.

Links

Lolita Inspired Bedroom Decor from the Archives of the Princess Portal

Lolita Living-Space on Egl

My lovely friend Sarah Ruth of Pink Macaroon's sewing room!

That's all for this installment! Go get your pads and adorable fluffy-topped pens and do some brainstorming. Expect the next section sometime early next week - with a few DIY decorating projects!

Labels: lifestyle, lolita living

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