But Being a Lolita is HARD!

Recently I have seen this term floating around the Internet: 'closet lolitas'. I originally thought this meant, like the term for 'closeted' Pagans or homosexuals, that this was a reference to lolitas who wore and loved their lolita fashion while keeping it a secret from their friends, family, and significant others. While it sounded rather difficult (how do you hide a giant wardrobe of poofy technicolor dresses and $300 dress bills from your parents?!) I figured it must be possible, if people were using the term. Today I finally got it, from a few new comments and messages left on my Youtube videos: the term 'closet lolita' was being applied to girls who considered themselves to be lolita despite not dressing in, owning, or even ever having tried on the fashion. I can only assume then the 'closet lolita' just consumes media, mostly through the Internet (tumblr, Facebook, forums, blogs, etc.).

Now to clarify my stance - I believe a lolita is someone who has worn lolita clothing with a genuine attempt to follow the lolita style/anatomy/archetype (wearing a cheap lace monster to cosplay an anime character does not count; nor does donning a brand skirt with a t-shirt, converse, and no lolita hair/makeup - lolita fashion is a whole-picture look, not just the clothing or its pedigree - offbrand and handmade count!). No matter how much media, community or interest one has in lolita fashion, I don't believe you can be a lolita until you have tried to wear the style in its entirety - at least once, though others might argue multiple times or ownership of the clothing and accessories is necessary. Until you've actually tried to portray the lolita style to the best of your ability, you are an admirer and lover of lolita fashion. (Nothing wrong with that, if you love the look but it's not something you'd personally wear.)

I received an email recently with a plea for help from just such a 'closet lolita' who has been a 'lolita for years' but wanted more help being lolita 'style-wise.' To sum her letter, she says her family will support her, but her location is not 'lolita-forward' and lolita is 'far too expensive and far too difficult!'

Okay. Mama Victoria is gonna get a little tough love and speak the truth. Being a lolita... is hard. 


Here are just a few things lolitas do on a routine basis to keep up with, well, being lolitas:

Ordering from expensive shopping services, saving up money, making the same dress work in six different outfits rather than buy a new one, darning socks, studying makeup magazines, cleaning wigs, coloring their hair, gluing on nails, gluing on eyelashes, learning katakana, matching up coordinates, buying makeup, dealing with customs, working hard jobs (again to save more money), flying cross country or internationally to buy clothing, curling hair, conditioning out teased bouffants, dealing with strangers, dealing with coworkers or family members, driving hours to meetups, uncomfortable shoes, stockings that slide down, petticoats that deflate, reading handbooks, running group orders, currency conversions, not to mention all of the inside workings and social learning curve of lolita culture...

Lolita seems to be making the list of subcultural trends for teens lately, making blog rolls and Tumblr dashboards all over the Internet. Other fashion trends the average teen or young person can invest in aren't nearly so stringent, such as scene or hipster trends. Lolita is more on the level of old-school goth, back when goth was both a daily rigorous fashion and lifestyle, rather than its modern descendant, watered-down and sold next to the GAP (who actually owns Hot Topic, for the curious.) Which is why many girls beg the question of why lolita has to be so, well, hard.

Lolita looks sweet, soft, delicate, like an ornate maiden or perfect princess... and, like any princess, it looks effortless. I think that is why, for those on the outside looking in, it seems like it must be easy. To those who haven't tried it, it seems like for the lolitas pictured, life is a perfect fairytale, a (excuse the pun) piece of cake, and the only reason that the viewer hasn't attained lolita nirvana yet is due to an external locus of control. You know, the usual, things you hear all the time: "It's too expensive", "My hometown is not lolita", "Going outside would be weird". Or other times, you hear girls say, "Lolita is my inside self and heart, but..."

Here is the truth: lolitas are strong. Lolitas are brave. Every day, they decide to wear things that are not popular or accepted. They have been mocked, alienated and harassed for their choices, in every location from big cities to rural towns. Why? Because as a lolita, the fundamental belief is that making yourself happy is the most important thing. Even if you feel awkward, standing alone in a pink-and-blue ruffled dress, knowing that the rest of the world is staring... you are standing up for your right to make choices about your happiness, not others'. If this dress makes you feel happy when you look at it and put it on, then it should be your choice to embrace that.

As Maki of Angelic Pretty has said, 'Lolitas are always fighting for what they believe in.' If you want to be a lolita, to wear lolita fashion and in doing so truly have the 'lolita experience' so to speak, you have to fight. Lolitas around the world face adversity in becoming lolitas, whether that's cost, time, location, culture. I have had letters from Muslim lolitas who want to dress in adorable fashions but still honor their religious standards, like long skirts. I have had letters from girls who are exceedingly poor but have been carefully saving their pennies or learning by nights how to sew.

Like I've said in the past, anyone can have a successful blog. The same is true of lolita fashion, or really anything you want to pursue. In our culture we chase endless small hobbies and interests, a culture well-known for dabbling: the ability to play a few songs on a bass, a brief love affair with knitting, or a dusty collection from when coin collecting seemed cool. Fleeting interest is commonplace. Passion is an abstract word few understand these days, something we reserve for ballet dancers or astronauts. Obsession we are readily familiar with; addiction, an old friend. To become a lolita, no matter your circumstances, it's not really clothing you need. What you need goes by many names - drive, passion, determination... I suppose in this case I will call it a healthy obsession. Decide a goal for fashion self - what you deem to be the perfect idea of lolita. Obsession is your friend. I think all lolitas who truly love the fashion are always thinking about lolita, considering how they're going to meet their own daydreams head-on. Novala Takemoto's 5 Rules For Becoming a Lovely Girl says 'If you long to be a maiden, then define yourself as your own rival', if you'd like to think of it that way.

Every lolita starts as an ordinary girl, accidentally stumbling onto a dreamy world of fashion that makes her want to fulfill that dream, no matter how hard or long the road is. Even as seasoned lolita, after five years, I am always trying to 'better' my style, and redefine it to fit myself. It's been a long journey that I know I have yet to complete - if I ever will. A journey not just about clothes or hair, but also who you want to become. I think that defines the lolita experience... that no matter what, to be a lolita, don't give up.

To finish this article, I thought I'd include a long-beloved favorite poem from Novala Takemoto, who I hope is safe.

I want to become a lolita, you say.
So become one, I reply.
What can I do to look like a lolita?
I have no words with which to reply to this.
You need a headdress, don't you? And a pannier.
Is this coordinate strange?
Is it not wrong for lolita?
Why do you want to do lolita?
Because it's trendy, because my friends do it...
If that's the case, you have no right to wear lolita.
If you just do what the others do, you will look like a lolita.
But I want you to think about something.
Who do you live for?
You think you want to be yourself, but you are afraid of isolation.
You yell that you want to be free, but you take comfort in following convention.
When you are praised for something you don't even feel comfortable with, are you really satisfied?
Girls who wear Vivienne Westwood but don't even know the Sex Pistols.
Even when wearing a jersey, a princess is a princess.
My lolita rules are mine alone.
So you are the only one who can find your own lolita rules.
My god and your god are different, aren't they?
There are angels who wear elegant dresses and play tamborines,
But there are also angels wearing armor and carrying swords whose job it is to fight.
I can't answer your question.
But there are a lot of hints all around you.
You just haven't noticed yet.
What you feel is right is your answer.
Sew frills onto the hem of your heart!
Put a tiara on top of your soul!
Have pride.

Please excuse the previous recent lack of updates to Lolita Charm. Not only was this week my college midterms, but I have been feeling unable to write about Japanese pop fashion while seeing so much tragedy in Japan. Please continue to keep the Japanese people in your hearts and prayers. Click here for more on what you can do to help Japan.




xoxo,

Labels: cultural, discussion, inspirational

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 6:54 PM 2 Comments

Punk Rock and Formal Beauty

Being it's so snowy here, lately I've been re-reading my copy of Kamikaze Girls (the novel). The first time I read it, I underlined it and made notes in the margins with the idea of eventually writing some deep, meaningful, book-club-worthy article about it. Such an article never occurred. I think the most precious things to me in this book, I can't express, or perhaps am unwilling to reveal - like a secret heart. All of its grace, for me, is locked beyond the silent, promising lace-and-embroidered style of its book jacket.

As I reached the end of the story again today however, I discovered a new section of the book I hadn't read - or, well, I must have, as I underlined and annotated it, but I certainly don't remember it. I thought I would post it here for you to read, and absorb its wisdom. The parts in bold italic are the sections I underlined by hand in my copy.

(Note: this afterword was written especially for the English/American book release, which occurred after the movie aired/became popular in the US. This afterword is specially written to lolita overseas.)

I imagine that quite a few of you picked up this novel after seeing its movie adaptation.

Well, nice to make your aquaintance. I am Novala Takemoto, a Rococo writer who has been racing headlong in full-blown lolita mode for years, in spite of being a straight male.

Momoko, the girl who tells this story, is pretty much my alter ego. So if you found yourself identifying with Momoko's spirit, it means that I have been understood on the other side of the ocean, and this makes me very happy.

Lolita is a unique form of street fashion that emerged in Japan in the late 1970s. There are no leaders in the lolita world. I am sometimes introduced as an authority on lolitas, and enjoy overwhelming support among readers with lolita tastes, but even so if, if my assertions and opinions do not meet with their approval, I face harsh rebuke. Lolita do not recognize any authority. They follow only the values they have chosen for themselves, regardless of what anyone else might say.

In other words, lolita possess a hard-boiled spirit at root that cannot be attained by men today. "Hard-boiled," that stylishly cool attitude that originated among American men, has thus been passed on to a segment of with-it girls in Japan called lolitas. And it is now being relayed back to girls in America. This may have been inevitable. The reason I have been writing books about lolitas since my debut, Kamikaze Girls and other books, is that the hard-boiled sensibility is the source of my own lifestyle and creativity.

While lolita is a fashion genre that sprang up spontaneously, it does have strict conventions. Bangs must be cute straight across in front of the eyebrows, skirts have to be worn over petticoats, and so on. So long as you stick to these basics, the rest is up to you - you are free to adapt the look any way you please, and give precedence to your own original definition of lolita.

Lolita is a fusion of the spirit of punk rock with formal beauty that honors tradition. Lolitas value independence and beauty above all else.

In Kamikaze Girls, the two girls are drawn to each other's independent natures and eventually come to respect one another. Eve though their tastes and principles are different, they become bound by true friendship because they learn to respect the aesthetic behind those tastes and principles.

...Right around here, I pick up the Japanese copy of Kamikaze Girls that I had placed beside me to write this afterword to the American edition, and reread the last part for the first time in ages. Aah, this speech of Ichigo's is pretty great, isn't it? The one that starts with Momoko here ain't my friend, see?" It brought tears to my eyes. (Hey, don't read your own stuff and start crying!)

Actually, though, I was asked to write an afterword to the American edition and I said okay, but you know what? Everything I wanted to say, which is basically the simple message of "let's all get along while following our own paths and doing whatever the hell we want!" is packed right into the book. I don't really think I have anything to add to that at this point. Just connecting with you, who will be fighting this fight with me from now on, is enough for me.

Wow. Powerful stuff, really, when you think about it. Often Takemoto starts to ramble in a cute, mysterious way, but then he has sudden moments of perfect clarity - and this letter has a few brilliant insights. I thought he said several good points we would do well to remember in this simple, oft-unread letter to the lolitas of then - and now. By the way, keep in mind that he wrote this in what we now refer to as the 'old-school days', most likely somewhere between 2004 and 2006 - right before the sudden 'fashion shift' into the lolita of the 2000s (when Angelic Pretty dominated the scene and the multi-color print began to rise in popularity).

To begin with, he's got us pegged: lolitas, for some reason or another, dislike authority. Anyone who claims to be an out-and-out authority figure on lolita fashion makes our guard go up. The touted 'lolita expert', La Carmina, comes to mind. Now, why is that? I think it's our natural reaction to being 'fenced in' by someone who claims to have all the answers. As soon as someone says, 'I'm an expert on _____ (let's say, classic lolita)' several girls also say, 'But you're not thinking of it from this point of view.' As he continues to say, this is because lolita is something personal. I know we think of it as a fashion, a subculture, a community, a set of guidelines, but at the end of the day your love and interpretation of lolita is with you. Just you. I recently read a quote that went something along the lines of, 'You can talk and share all night long, but when you sleep you all have different dreams.' Within the shape of lolita we all have our own fantasy worlds and daydreams - of place, time, locale, color, and fashion, which emerge through our clothes. I personally tend to find a sense of 'place' - when I see certain clothes, I imagine the scene and world whence they come. Pink House makes me think of grassy fields and old orchards in summer, fading to fall; Angelic Pretty makes me think of Barbie-pink doll houses and retro soda shops. But other girls may get a sense of presence, such as imaging themselves in the clothes, or perhaps a sense of sound (imaging a piece of music?) for the aurally inclined. I know one of my friends expresses her emotions and fantasies in film - I wonder if clothes give her the sense of a silent music video?

As you grow into your style, play with others, and develop your aesthetic tastes, you begin to define what lolita means to you. Not the communities, not what's popular online, not in magazines - but to you. Rather than sitting down to follow the guidelines or a subset, make your own. The other day, as I was thinking about Lolita Princess and its pure look, I found myself dreaming up a substyle! Was it lolita? Was it mori-girl or hime-kei? Was it a little bit fetched from lots of places? You bet. The more styles that seem to evolve and explode from Japan, the more they don't seem so different. Girls are beginning to gladly dabble in everything from gyaru to pop-kei, mori-girl and hime-kei. They seem very different on the surface, but below the veneer they are deeply similar. The notion of dolls, femininity, princesses, heroines in storybooks... are all from the same world, aren't they? Defining your lolita style doesn't need to be simply within the confines of by-the-book lolita. Check out his 'lolita style' above - certainly not your cookie cutter coordinate! He pairs his favorite brand pieces (often Baby the Stars Shine Bright and designer brand Vivienne Westwood) to develop his own androgynous style, veering to more masculine or feminine as he sees fit.

Okay, we're not all androgynous writers cobbling together knee socks and bloomers as pants - but plenty of day-to-day girls redefine their lolita styles out of the box. Moss Garden, for example, is a fine example of a 'lolita blog' that feels free to venture into the other realms of style such as natural-kei, dolly-kei, and mori-girl. Fairytale a La Mode, what we would mostly class as a classic lolita, often wanders down other fashion paths as well. Perhaps this is because as lolitas, it never truly leaves us? As Takemoto says, let's all follow our own paths and get along while doing whatever the hell we want! (...I ramble sometimes, too, but not in a cute, mysterious way. In more of a raised-eyebrow, wait-what way?)

In a way, you could also consider this afterword to be a pep-talk, about independence and bravery and even, perhaps, despite our differences, solidarity. Many of his poems also touch on subjects of bravery. As anyone who has ever stepped outside their front doors wearing a full lolita coordinate knows, bravery - and insecurity - can be constant companions. And that's not to say hiding under the quilt will fix that problem - you can find just as much disapproval online as in real life. Especially for someone who has decided to be independent and go their own way. But as the story of Momoko and Ichigo shows us, it's not their common interests or even morals that bring them together. It's that they recognize the same spark of independence within each other - in an interview, Takemoto calls them 'soul twins', kind of like our saying of 'two sides of the same coin.' After all of his reference to going your own way and developing your own style, he also encourages us to support that independence in others (even if 'others' means gross, spitting Yankis, of course - or, basically, other fashion styles that aren't our cup of tea). He wants us to go forth, be brave, and stand beside others who are doing the same.


I could continue the dissertation about Novala Takemoto forever. Since my lolita journey began with Kamikaze Girls, I suppose you could say that without his writing, I wouldn't be where I am today. So in this small way, I hope his afterword stays with you. Makes you think, or stand up. Remember: the lolita values independence and beauty above all else; the punk rock spirit fused with the beauty and love of a fantasy world. The princess, the doll, the maiden - is finally standing up for her right to be herself. I hope you do, too.


xoxo,

Labels: cultural, discussion, inspirational, recommended reading

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 10:57 PM 0 Comments

Majoring in Gothic & Lolita

For all of your lovely lolitas who are sick of studying biology and business law (that's me... sigh), there are now Gothic and Lolita specific courses at Ueda College of Fashion in Japan! I thought for sure that it was just a rumor, but it's true - this fashion school can teach you all the ins and outs of becoming a lolita or gothic fashion designer.

According to their school website, their curriculum covers fashion drawing, color theory, and fashion theory, as well as the practical aspects of sewing and constructing unique lolita fashion garments within the guidelines of the style. There is even a gothic & lolita history course! Here's some more course curriculum description from their website:


With the help of my Google translator, the head of the program says (get ready for some choppy translation ahead):

Gothic & Lolita clothes, not just anyone can not. The underlying techniques of haute couture. Materials and patterns, colors, designs and silhouettes, in the sense that the technology and acquire a variety of haute couture, unique world that is rocking the hearts of the born. And the attention to detail and passion for clothes, we are creating a new excitement and beauty. Clothing to face trial and error, finding the answer in my own, I think I want to taste the great pleasure of making clothes. On the other hand, is also important force in the world of fashion business. Gothic & Lolita fashion in a major power with the creation of the world to express themselves, to train a force active in the business world, offers a variety of curricula. Please, UEDA knowledge learned in the technical sense, please realize your own dreams. And, please create your clothes to impress people.

xoxo,

Labels: cultural, misc

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 12:43 PM 0 Comments

How to Be Yourself Online

It's been a long time since I started Lolita Charm, and longer before that were I was simply online, interacting with the lolita community and the rest of the Internet in general. Often when you tend to interact more online than you do in real life, real-life meetings can be nervous! Friends online might be shy at their first get-together, worried that the person they know is someone else when away from the keyboard. The first time I met my first lolita friends, I was so sure they were secretly 40-year-old men I insisted we meet at a coffee shop! But I am very proud of the fact that the girls I meet say that I really am the person I seem to be online. "Huh," one friend said. "I'm so happy that you're really... well, you." But that's not an easy feat. Some girls do seem to have two sides: one for online, sprinkled with tons of bows and glitter, and something totally different for on the street or at meetups.

It's easy to get lured into 'being someone else' online. First you change your name - from something as ordinary as Libby to, perhaps, sparkleprincessunicorn57 (or whatever your preference). Then you use a different little picture to represent yourself. And then you are thrown into a big world where you realize, without your real name or real face, you can be anyone. It's a huge temptation to throw your real self to the wind and play into being whoever you want.

Who do people want to be? Do they spend all their time and energy making sure their 'online self' is perfect? Or there are others who want to be the complete opposite - maybe queen bee, maybe that-girl-who-has-everything, or anything else you can dream up. And what's so bad about that? Well, read this little fable...

“Shouldn’t you be running away?”

“Why should I run?” replied Rabbit. “I’m a wolf. Other animals run away from me.”

The wolf leader tilted his head and eyed him suspiciously. “You don’t look like a wolf to me.”

“Nope, I’m definitely a wolf.”

Labels: cultural, discussion, inspirational

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 2:32 AM 3 Comments

Australia's Next Top Model Meets Kawaii TV

In the tradition of the Price of Beauty episode, here's another mass-media show where western fashion and kawaii culture clash. Western media usually gives a dismissive brush to Japan's subcultural fashions, and this has its share. But I'm not going to analyze every eyeroll, every Western model asked to wear frills, her faced pained and insulted, wishing she could be somewhere else.
Four Australian models from Australia's Next Top Model (a modeling competition/reality TV show, for those unfamiliar) are taken to Japan where they hook up with Kawaii TV and four Japanese subculture fashion experts for gal, fairy, schoolgirl, and fashion lolita - including the Kawaii Ambassadors Misako Aoki, famed lolita model, and Yu Kimura of fairy-kei/popkei.
It's always interesting to see girls who have no previous interest in the culture or fashions thrust into them. Because of their ages (around the 18 - 21 bracket) I can't help but compare them to myself and other followers of kawaii fashion in a similiar demographic. We've always known that the fashion is not for everyone - to them it may seem strange, or even silly - but it's amazing just how much we differ from these girls. Inside of our bubbles of fashion, magazines, blogs, music and friends, I find it's easy to acclimate to the culture I've chosen to live in. As I tell bewildered strangers, this life and style feels normal to me. Even my parents and close friends are unsurprised when I dash in dressed like a cupcake, a giant pink wig on my head stuffed with bows, stickers and jewels. Of course that's cute, I think to myself as one model is lucky enough to be kidnapped to Baby the Stars Shine Bright. Hop like a cute little bunny in a giant fluffy bunny-eared hat? I'd be delighted. But it's a rude awakening when one of the models derisively speaks of her prize for winning the fashion show challenge... A Baby bonnet, pale pink and fixed with delicate millinery roses. Her hair pulled tautly back, she wraps it around her head and affects a mocking expression with her eyebrows. "I think it really suits me," she says sarcastically, toying with the ribbons. My eyes narrow. Unbeknownst to her are the thousands of girls who would scrimp and save for such a pretty ornament; unbeknownst to her are the thousands of yen it would cost to purchase (most likely 11 to 16,000, roughly $120 - 170 USD). She has know idea how many girls would die to even see a Baby shop, let alone get their personal tour and dress-up time with Misako Aoki, an idol and celebrity in her own right. This harks back to the Price of beauty episode - where celebrity designers and figureheads Maki and Asuka are treated as mere 'Harajuku girls'.

Labels: cultural, discussion, review

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 9:04 AM 38 Comments

The Beauty Myth: A Lolita Redux

Recently I've been reading The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolff, a feminist work discussing how our society's deep need to beautiful is impressed upon women as a form of control and dominance. Its prime point is that beauty and the desire to be beautiful is used to make women
Is there an answer to handling the Beauty Myth? Well, yes and no. On the one hand, playing into 'being artificial' - being someone else - is a lot of fun, and perhaps some of why we like lolita and other extreme alternate fashion. You can be pink-haired or blue-haired or both with wigs; have crazy curls your own hair would never master; make your eyes look dramatic or cherubic with soft lashes. I love the artistic side of lolita - something I'd never want to give up! But on the other, not being aware of the Beauty Myth and its possible side effects has dangerous consequences. The Beauty Myth says that women are only as smart, funny, talented, or successful so long as they are beautiful - despite all else. All worth comes after our appearance. The antidote? Keep that in mind. It's easy to get trapped into that thinking as we watch the world go by, obsessed with beautiful people (celebrities, models), their fall from grace (so-and-so celebrity massively gains 55 lbs! other-celebrity gets not-so-secret nose job!), and the constant revolving circus of beauty products, anti-aging, roots, weight gain... the list goes on and on. Know that no matter what your hair, nails, clothes, skin, or body looks like today, you still have so much to offer the world. You don't have to be perfectly beautiful or even be a perfect lolita. If it's an ordinary day, I wear my real hair. Sometimes my bangs will blow around, sometimes my hair will uncurl - and it won't look perfect. But don't let this stop your from living your life. Dolls are beautiful. But they are hardly real.

Labels: cultural, discussion, feminism

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 7:25 PM 14 Comments