Lolita Charm: In Defense of Princesses

Monday, January 25, 2010

In Defense of Princesses

I read an article in this morning's local paper where the usual weekly columnist (middle-aged, married with kids, finds Twitter to be fabulously novel) lamented and consoled on the topic of her 24-month-old's sudden infatuation with Disney princesses (or any not trademarked, for that matter). Her little girl's fascination seems to be limited to proclaiming 'I pwincess' whenever possible, and the writer remarks flippantly that it's all about gender identity, which conjures up disconcerting memories from the pink sets of But I'm a Cheerleader. She then closes with a joke, such as that it's only time to worry when your child doesn't let go of princesses at the ripe old age of eight.

I raised an eyebrow over my teacup.

What about when your kid is twenty?

Like many lolitas I know, I have an interest in princesses and fairytales. I've got a collection of tiaras, a Cinderella make-up bag, and there's a glittering crown decorating my pink netbook. Other girls might turn to himelolita or himegyaru, or simply delight in crown motifs. Lolita, a demographic ranged from young teens to as far as mid or late twenties (or beyond), is far outside of that typical, pre-tweenager market. And is that considered unhealthy?

The author of the article says that an interest in princesses is a child deciding that she fits into the female category and that as such, her role is the princess. But I disagree that it's so Freudian or base to delegate princesses as just the standard female role. Lolita fashion, after all, is styled to be ultra-feminine. From pastel colors to lace, soft fabric, and pearls, lolita brings all of the feminine elements together. So if this is merely a gender issue, why would princesses continue to be popular?

Princesses, in fairytales and literature, have been romanticized from their feudal origins as bartering power into the heroines of their own stories. The princess is helped along by fairies, braves dungeons or deep gorges, and is destined for a happy ending. The word 'princess' is like a trigger to the reader: this character is special. She's destined for great things, and she lives up to those great things. And what girl doesn't want to believe that, at the end of the day, she too is destined for great things? That she is worthy of those great things, and should act the part? It's a kind of self-esteem promised to yourself. No wonder so many older girls just can't let go of the idea of princesses. We still want to think, as we sit at carved-up school desks or in shabby apartments, that we're meant for great things some day.

Let's switch gears from Victorian fairytales back to the modern day princesses - the animated ones with franchises. Many feminists delcare that today's pop culture princesses degrade women down into boy-crazy girls with an appetite for designer jeans, but that's not what I see from the Disney princesses. Their uniting theme is yearning for something beyond their current lives. Cinderella is the most interested in finding man, but she's just as fascinated with moving out of her stepmother's home and finding a new life. Later princesses like Belle, Ariel and Jasmine have dreams of seeing the world and meeting new people. Disney's newest princess, Tiana, goes so far as to aspire to a career and running her own business.

My favorite notion of princesses, however, comes from Frances Hodgson Burnett's novel, A Little Princess. Sara, a rich little girl who has been treated 'just like a little princess' finds herself suddenly orphaned and pennyless. But she decides to be a princess anyway, to herself - which she defines as being kind, brave, and strong in the face of adversity. Though she is mocked for her ideas of princesses, the other characters, including her wicked headmistress, can't help but be impressed by her noble behavior.

Today's world is full of unusual princesses, both in real life and in literature or films. There are the mori girls, strange princesses of the forest; there are princesses who are really bait girls from Louisiana. There are the First Daughters of the White House, and the frivilous fancy princesses of childrens' storybooks. There are princesses in ancient castles and in New York City penthouses. Princesses have long since stopped being just girls of royal blood, or girls with money to burn on beautiful dresses, or girls who can marry the prince. The word princess has become synonymous with heroine. And that is what I believe lolita does for girls: they discover, or perhaps decide, that they are going to be the heroines of their own stories.

And if a little girl is twenty and believes she is her own heroine, or if she is ninety and believes she is her own heroine, then I don't see anything wrong with princesses.

Labels: culture, discussion

25 Comments:

At January 25, 2010 at 8:54 PM , Victoria Suzanne said...: Wonderful article.
My mom sometimes laughs at the fact that I'm a princess loving University student whose entire dorm room is pink, but I think she also appreciates my originally in a sea of UGGs.
♥
At January 25, 2010 at 9:03 PM , maya said...: also: a princess is someone with an "inner quality"--she isn't defined by where she was born, or how much money she lives on, or who she marries, or anything like that. you see it in fairy tales all the time--being a princess is this innate quality that nothing can take away from you. to me, that's really appealing--i mean, i like being defined by my accomplishments, but that also means each failure is a blemish on my identity. that idea that "i'm a princess", as simple as that, can be a baseline for self-worth for girls.
At January 25, 2010 at 9:22 PM , Victoria Suzanne said...: Gotta say, I really love this post! I love crown motifs even though I'm not that crazy about princesses (except for Belle<3), but I totally agree with your point, with being the heroine of my own story. :)
At January 25, 2010 at 9:37 PM , Victoria Suzanne said...: (note: somehow other people's comments are showing up as mine. please note these are NOT my own comments.)
At January 25, 2010 at 9:50 PM , Marchii said...: I love your Blog and I loved this post. I'm a lolita and I'm 17, being a lolita in my country is really hard because people just can't understand why would you want to dress and live like a princess when you're 17 years old, But being a princess is my way of being happy and strong. ^^ Sorry for my terrible English.
At January 25, 2010 at 10:07 PM , Mariko said...: I really appreciate this post! I am a pagan, and in my pagan community, I know many extreme feminists. I sometimes feel like they look down on me because I like girly things, and when my boyfriend pays my way to the movies or opens the door for me, like somehow because I choose a more feminine role, I am doing a disservice to women's rights. My favorite Disney Princesses are Sleeping Beauty, who grew up in a cottage with three women who knew how to do for themselves, and Mulan, who was brave, strong, and noble. They can be great role models. Thanks so much for this post!
At January 25, 2010 at 10:19 PM , Red Ruby Rae said...: I love this post. I think the image of a fairy tale princess is still very powerful, and it is encouraging for girls to have that ideal...

There are a few Christian books I've read that even look at being a Princess in lieu of the fact that God is our heavenly king and Father, and we are his sons and daughters. Therefore, we all are princes and princesses.

Brought up also in one of these books in defense of fairy tales is that they can serve as a kind of bridging between our reality on Earth and the promise of Heaven; they show us glimpses of the magic and wonder that CAN be and WILL be... or at least I think so. I don't want to shove a crazy Christian rant at anyone. >_<
At January 25, 2010 at 10:19 PM , PinkJucie said...: this makes me feel a bit better now cause i get laughed at alot when i explain what lolita is
At January 25, 2010 at 10:44 PM , SecretForKeeps said...: This is my first time commenting, but I have to say that I really love this post. I've heard/read many girls try to explain or justify the lolita fashion, but I think this really summed it up best, in a respectable and intellectual way. It even inspired me to write a post on my own blog. ^^ Great post!
At January 26, 2010 at 12:04 AM , KittyDragon said...: I truly enjoyed this post! When I was growing up I always wanted to be like Ariel from the Little Mermaid, not because she was a princess but because she wanted to explore thing beyond what she knew. That's what Lolita is for me. I've never been very feminine while growing up, I was a tomboy, but I found Lolita and it has given me a way to express the girl, no the princess with in me. Thank you for the lovely post.
At January 26, 2010 at 2:40 AM , Anny said...: Great post. Even though I'm not crazy about princesses my favourite Disney one is Mulan. And we all are princesses of our own world.
At January 26, 2010 at 2:51 AM , Miss Freya said...: Miss Victoria, this post brought a tear to my eye.
Everything you said is the truth. No matter how old or how young, anyone, no everyone is a princess of their own story.
I will be writing a reply post to this in my own blog as I have so much to say, it would make this comment terribly long. But I will post a link when it is finished.
Thank you, Miss Victoria, for now I am not afraid to show that I too am a princess.
At January 26, 2010 at 5:01 AM , Maaike said...: "The author of the article says that an interest in princesses is a child deciding that she fits into the female category and that as such, her role is the princess. But I disagree that it's so Freudian or base to delegate princesses as just the standard female role. Lolita fashion, after all, is styled to be ultra-feminine. From pastel colors to lace, soft fabric, and pearls, lolita brings all of the feminine elements together. So if this is merely a gender issue, why would princesses continue to be popular?"

I don't agree with the author, but I don't really understand your logic either. She doesn't say it's merely a gender issue, but it certainly is amongst others a gender issue. And if it's a gender issue, that doesn't mean it's not popular. I'm sorry for not understanding :X
At January 26, 2010 at 6:38 AM , Miss Freya said...: http://sweetangelfreyafreya.blogspot.com/2010/01/in-reply-to-in-defence-of-princesses.html

Please do check out my reply post if you have the time, Miss Victoria.
And anyone else, if they'd like, of course!
At January 26, 2010 at 6:50 AM , Tiki Doll said...: PRO PRINCESS - we all need a little sparkle/magic and hope in our lives; I know I do.

I say the more beauty in our lives the better.
At January 26, 2010 at 11:04 AM , Anonymous said...: Yes! Thank you so much for addressing this, Victoria. I made a similar post about this in my blog a while back (http://prettywonderland.com/?p=227). I'm always amazed by these columnists who spout such pessimism. They always are chattering on about how distraught they are about their infant daughters wanting to be a pretty princess instead of a scientist or politician. They seem so determined on pressing their own cynical hang ups onto their children. It's simply unfair. Just because a child enjoys playing pretend doesn't mean they will grow up as dim witted fluzzies. As a parent, it's your job to guide your child into helping them achieve their dreams and become good people. The media is not their to raise your kids for you. Liking fairy tales and princesses is not going to determine whether or not you'll be a successful adult. But the love and support of parents will. That's what they do not understand. Imagination is a beautiful and healthy part of childhood, robbing ones children of such a thing is shameful, in my opinion. Luckily, my parents gave me free reign to indulge in my dreams. And where am I now? Oh yes, a successful graduate student married to the man of her dreams. Take that columnists! ^___^
At January 26, 2010 at 10:05 PM , Corvida said...: I think some parents look at the mass-market role models for little girls and get squeamish. (Does anyone remember the heinous Club LibbyLu?) Really, how many parents want their daughters to aspire to be Miley Cyrus or one of the Jersey Shore girls? Yes, a lot of the characters and franchises are vacuous and pinkwashed, but as long as you provide good role models, structure, etc. at home, your kids won't look to Barbie for life advice.

My 8yo. cousin pointed something kind of interesting out to me a few months ago. She noticed that in all the Disney Princess stuff, Mulan is wearing fancy dresses even though in the movie she rejected all of that in favor of armor. My tomboyish cousin loves Mulan for being herself despite a community's worth of disapproval, so she's pretty disappointed with this new incarnation. Just something to ponder...
At January 27, 2010 at 12:53 AM , Laura said...: I'm not lolita, but I feel like a section of my heart inherently belongs to Rococo and princesses, especially as I have read more and more about the lifestyle.

I've been reading your blog for a bit now, but I feel this is my favorite post yet. Thank you for putting this down into words. I always felt that The Little Princess has one of the best messages out there for girls. It sums up the concept of princess quite tidily.
At January 27, 2010 at 4:48 AM , Anonymous said...: yeah I agree nothing wrong with liking princesses when you're 20 and not a kid anymore. I like some of those disney princesses myself. My favorites were pocahontas,little mermaid and mulan. I like pink and cute but I'm not a girly girl and I usually hate skirts and dresses but I love sweet lolita and for me there's nothing wrong with liking it. Althou my sister jokes that i'm a feminist. Maybe a little :p What I don't agree on is that these "feminists" think princesses will make little girls wanna be dumb housewifes who love brand clothing. Boy do they got the idea wrong. I like it and I don't wanna get married or be idle. I'm not even romantic. They should stop with those stereotypical thoughts
At January 27, 2010 at 10:51 AM , Anonymous said...: I just love to read your articles, they're a real inspiration!
At January 27, 2010 at 2:02 PM , ~NiKi~ said...: Oh, you are so right. I think lolita shoul be called Heroine or something. It really gave me the strength to make what I wanted to do, BE ME and this is what I do since I know it. The authir may be is afraid of the Peter Pan Syndrome because if there is not a little magic in your live may be that you're already death

(so sorry if I made mistakes in the spelling xD)
At January 27, 2010 at 5:02 PM , POODUM said...: It was a delight to read this. :)
At January 28, 2010 at 8:24 AM , Wniny said...: How wonderful... I will always remeber this when life gets rough. ^^
And that mother... -.-
At January 28, 2010 at 11:14 PM , Lady Christina said...: AMEN Miss Victoria! I HATE how "feminists" get onto you for a CHOICE you made. I mean wasn't the whole feminist movement made so we could CHOSE want we want to do? So if that is true then if we CHOSE to be a frilly princess then we can do so!

I WANT to be a housewife.
I WANT to wear frilly, pink clothes until I die.
I WANT to be a Princess.
I WANT my beloved to open the door/pay for me.

But I also WANT to speak my mind. Although...the whole 'I WANTZ PINK HAIRZ' isn't sitting so well with my Prince it's 'O.O WTF?' city, but I'll put my foot down if necessary to get my beloved pink hair!

So, once again, another of your articles has given me courage to bw who I am despite the world view of it. CARP DIEM! ('Seize the day' for those who do not know Latin)
At February 1, 2010 at 7:49 AM , Anonymous said...: i actually rarely liked princesses growing up... i loved frilly, fancy things, but i was more into black. i wanted to be a witch, mostly. an incredibly elegant, beautiful, awesome witch. i had a lot of trouble identifying with the princesses in most of the stories i read. i liked ariel, and mulan when she came out, but the original princesses all seemed kinda... helpless to me. and a lot of them were. i think parents who are concerned that their daughters might somehow be harmed by the princess image are overreacting, but they might try pushing for stories in which the princesses are more active and less passive. that was and still is my main problem with the princess archetype. most of the stories i read when i was little had the "bad girls" or women as active characters, doing stuff, going out into the world, etc. they were also often pretty, but it wasn't all they did. whereas a lot of the princess stories i remember from my childhood were about women who were just so amazingly beautiful and good (without ever showing good qualities. we just were told she was good.) that things happened to them and other people saved and befriended them. i wanted to be a witch because a witch had power. she didn't sit around and wait for her prince or fairy godmother to help her, she helped herself. and some of the newer princesses do that quite well. some of the less popular old stories also show girls taking a more active role. and that's awesome. and no, it's probably not a problem for a girl to want to be a princess at any age, unless she turns into the girl from enchanted!

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Monday, January 25, 2010

In Defense of Princesses

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