Skin Deep?

Dolls. The little things we emulate, with brilliantly wide eyes, tiny mouths, and tip-tilted noses. We've jumped from lipgloss to false eyelashes to eyelid glue to wigs, forever in search of that feature that will make us seem absolutely dolled up - looking perfect. And it's not exactly easy that the majority of our models for the fashion are just that - models. Even the street snaps in magazines are chosen because the girls are cute as well as well-dressed. Seeing real girls in lolita in real life is harder to come by - though our few locals and the community daily_lolita can help. But as you close the magazine, can you help but feel the bar is raised a little high?

Apparently many girls do feel that pressure. This week's loli_secrets had a sad confession: a girl that felt she'd never be a beautiful lolita due to her dark skin. Asian beauty standards and Victoriana both put stock in whiter skin, which can lead girls with darker tones feeling left out in the cold. But however much we draw on these cultures for inspiration and style, we must remember that they are not our world. Victorian or Rococo periods are things to be drawn on, not copied to the letter. We have come forward in history, hopefully past the notion skin color can stop a girl from being considered beautiful. And even though we are influenced by the Asian cultures that we take our cues from, they are not our world either. Western lolitas are uniquely created - with Western ideals, but also with the adopted beauty aesthetic of the style. I would like to think that our ideals triumph over looks, that we would prefer to mold the style to suit us instead of the other way around.

Is it purely cultural? What about our culture, as part of Western society? Where nip/tuck is fairly common, and no one bats an eyelash at a girl getting a new nose for her 18th birthday? I certainly don't suggest that either culture is better than the other - one could go on about the failings of Western beauty ideas for an entire blog's worth of articles, on everything from anorexia, bulimia, race, Playboy, hair... the list goes on. Nobody has the upper hand here. In some countries, women get their eyes made rounder. In others, women want their eyes to look more cat-like. Some girls bleach, some girls tan. It's not about who does what. We all peer at ourselves in the mirror and say, well, if it was just a little different...

And I admit, I'm no stranger to that. I've had my own weight problems, I get my roots done, and I consider the shape of my nose, maybe with a touch of disdain. Nobody's perfect. Nobody is quite there yet.

I think that beauty should be about loving - and enhancing - what you have. Take care of your skin, and lavish it with the food it needs, like moisture and vitamins. Make sure to remove your makeup before bed, drink lots of water, and try (I know it's hard for me!) to get enough sleep. The better you treat it, the more it will do for you. No matter the color, skin that glows with health is beautiful. Even when you're not sure, even when loving yourself - which to many girls can be today's impossible task - seems harder than anything, it's one of those small braveries. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and try.

Like the small bravery of going out in your frills.

Yes, lolita is a fashion and certain look we try to achieve through hair, makeup, jewelry, and our clothes. The end goal is to fufill your idea of what is beautiful, which you have already narrowed down to subset of fashion. But it isn't only what you look like - you can't see yourself, after all. You can only 'feel' what you look like, and how that impacts your emotions. Lolitas over the world agree that 'lolita is pretty' and 'lolita makes me feel pretty, makes me feel good'. That's the bottom line of why people choose to dress in the style. If it didn't give you that feeling and you only did it for those looking at you, you probably wouldn't bother.

So maybe you're not a model, or at the least, don't feel like one. Maybe at times your hair is a askew, or you worry about spots, or the hem of your skirt gets caught under your petticoat. Do you feel happy? Do you want to keep learning and evolving in this style? Little by little, you'll learn not only the fashion, but confidence in your own skin.

And that is a beauty that goes much farther than skin-deep.

Labels: culture, discussion

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 1:10 PM