Lifestyle Misconceptions

It's been quite some time since I wrote the original article explaining lifestyle lolitas, and for a long time I thought, well, it's been written - what else do you need? It's been said, Victoria. Talk about fashion/nails/magazines/ANYTHING else instead.

But lately I have seen a few common misconceptions about lifestyle lolitas that go beyond what I had originally addressed. I'm not sure where these ideas are coming from - certainly not the main community, it seems to me, because lifestyle is little discussed there if at all. But someone has put round the idea that lifestyle lolitas are practically another breed of species all together from the average lolita, let alone the human race! For example...

Q: What do lolitas eat?

A: Anything they like! Well, in general, you should try to drink your eight glasses of water a day, eat something that hasn't been fried (like vegetables and fruits!) and a good yogurt culture doesn't hurt. You know, the typical things you read in womens' magazines about boosting your brain power. Eat almonds. Whatever. The point is, lolitas have a perfectly normal diet. I've seen several questions like this and I'm always a little surprised. I... ate strawberry shredded wheat for breakfast. Is that any more or less lolita than, say, oatmeal? Do the lolita points go up if I sprinkle the oatmeal with mini-marshmallows? (A whole other system of points counting? The brain spins.)

Q: What does a lolita wear to camp/fight fires/be a rodeo clown?

A: What anyone else wears to do these things! Fashion is one thing, but sometimes clothes are purely utilitarian. I prefer to dress lolita or at least otome style on a daily basis, but that doesn't mean I don't have the sense to keep a spare set of pants in the backseat of my car. If you suddenly need to change a flat, you'd probably be very happy to pop on those jeans, right? Function over fashion - it happens! If you need to consistently dress for function and hate not having a lolita identity (let's say you spend most of your time in a lab coat), then try something more permanent, like doing your nails or styling your hair (no matter what, I know I can count on a head of pink, aqua, purple, and blonde hair! It helps :)

Q: What mannerisms/personality do I need to dress in ___________ substyle, or just lolita in general?

A: Lolita manners are not a new discussion point. It's generally agreed that you should be, at the very least, civil and thoughtful of others in your actions, and follow the usual manners you learned as a child, such as please, thank you, holding a door for the person behind you, napkin in your lap. We have manners because they help us navigate through society and social interactions with, the idea goes, the least amount of catch-ups and awkward pauses (I think that American culture is built around the idea of avoiding the awkward pause, but I digress...)

But when one starts to take this idea to the extreme, such as: all sweet lolitas must be sweet and sugary and hyper, or Gothic lolitas are all refined and aloof, and classic lolitas speak slowly with a very historically-inspired speech patterns, or perhaps pirate lolitas say, 'Arrr!'... It's starting to go a bit off the deep end (this is why a lot of non-lifestylers think lifestylers are crazy, guys! Take note!).

Lolitas are human beings. I know perhaps we try to escape that and pretend to be princesses, paupers, or dewdrops, but we are people who simply has a specific kind of aesthetic taste (and in the case of lifestylers, similar hobbies and world views around that taste). It sometimes seems to me that some of the newer, freshly excited lolitas see the lifestyle as a very complex LARP (live action roleplay) that never ends. They dress up, go about their lives with mincing steps, put Hello Kitty stickers on their notebooks, and subsist off of sponge cake for a week until their stomachs hurt. That's what lolitas do, they say. I'm one of those. That's what we do. But to me, this seems to be less committed than it is a phase, a game. The true lolita does not just play at being her idea of a lolita. She doesn't have to be. She simply is one, and that means going to work, wearing her clothes when she has time, and eating a decent tuna sandwich for lunch. It means going for a jog on Sunday mornings, in track pants, and when you get back, enjoying your favorite blend of tea. It is called a lifestyle because it is life.

This may seem to be common sense to you, my fantastic readers, but it is surprising that common sense is no longer so common. One of my main goals for my blog, and by extension, my vlogs on the Charm Channel, is to show that lolitas are real people, in any of their forms. We have been romanticized and reduced until we are something less than we are. Do not let yourself be simplified down into a least common denominator. The archetype of the lolita is powerful, but nothing like so powerful as the personality and heart of a real person. It is merely a small part of a much larger, more beautiful painting that is you.

Labels: discussion, lifestyle

posted by Victoria Suzanne @ 12:27 AM